Dating Apps and Desperate Singles

Dating apps make it so easy to share anything and everything with someone that you usually don't realize you have been communicating with a stranger until you sit down in his or her presence for awhile like what happened to me. The person has no clue what is your favorite meal, the names of your closest relatives, or what some of your pet-peeves are about restaurants. The uneasy feeling within serves as yet another warning, "Slow down, he/she really doesn't know you that well. Do you really need to connect with this person intimately anytime soon?"

 

Certain apps restrict the natural process of communication and make seeing one another the priority. Other apps make communication the center of the relationship, but don't do so well when it comes to encouraging an offline connection since there is money to be made online. You are still a human being no matter what technological device is created and you will need to take control over your mind, body and spirit on and offline.

The mood changes between couples as they learn good, bad and ugly things that affect one another. Sometimes conversations are fun, intense, emotional, and quiet. Casting away one's perception, judgmental attitude, and other personal issues is constantly done when attempting to start a new relationship with someone. But going into anything blindly without a moral compass, some boundaries, and other things to keep one out of trouble is sure to lead to a stressful relationship that may end up lasting for years! The following are some things I did to keep some lonely and desperate singles from contacting me anymore having gone through my share of dating challenges:

1. I noted what I wanted and what I wasn't going to put up with sometimes firmly if I felt someone was being pushy.

2. I specifically indicated the kind of person I wanted to meet, but I didn't provide a long list just a general statement. I didn't want someone having so much information that they could magically turn themselves into something just to date me.

3. I didn't say too much about my family and work because I really didn't feel it was necessary in a first email or conversation.

4. I didn't hide my discontent when I was asked to do some things that I didn't want to do.

5. I ended any communication that didn't sit well with me whether playful or not.

 

Have you ever spoken to someone that is head over heels in love with a partner? Did he or she appear to have a brightened countenance when talking about one's love interest? Did this person act as if everything was right with the world? If so, then you know the love struck lady or guy is not the least bit interested in hearing anything that might sound like a warning or a negative comment about one's lover. Having gone through a previous break up, all most people want to do is focus on the good when it comes to anyone or anything new. What usually occurs is most relatives and friends just let their loved ones learn the hard way.

 

So a conversation is going great, smiles are beaming, and some relatives and friends might be jealous since their relationships have long lost their shine. The couple is guarded about sharing too much personal information. In time, they spend an increasingly amount of time away from family and friends who once made up a good portion of their time.

 

"We are so open with one another...We get along so good. He is so great...I love how she expresses herself; she really knows what she wants. I think he gets me," lovers say. Do these statements sound familiar? Now to those who have "been there, done that" their conversations about one another sound sweet, but the reality is in time relationship highs mellow and the lows start to increase. This is why some mature couples won't say too much to those who are "in love," because they know better, things will fizzle and when they do, the gullible will learn the hard way. Time always tells the truth and what was once so special and right about someone ends up not always being so in the short or long term. 

 

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Too Much Too Soon Internet Dating Blues 

 

 

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Dating Rich Older Men - What Younger, Needy Women Don't Think About

When a young lady seeks to date a man who makes much money, what she doesn't realize is that he isn't going to be as available to her emotionally and possibly physically as she might imagine.  The young woman is in for a rude awakening if she thinks that dating or marrying an older man will always consist of exotic travel and jaw-dropping shopping sprees.

I got the opportunity to speak to women who date older men and they were at times naïve when it came to talking about them.  They were like giddy school girls who just saw a handsome boy walk by them.  The eyes brightened, the speech sped up, and their bodies moved around a bit as if excited to talk about the subject.  These women didn't think too much about the possibility of future disappointments like their allowances or gifts being cut off one day by their rich dates.  They were too busy thinking about those promises their guys made such as plans to attend special events, give them gifts and eat at five star restaurants.

tipsdatingoldermen.blogspot.com

Most rich, older men don't abandon jobs, forget about children (and sometimes exes), and they aren't thinking too much about keeping a sexual partner around for too long.  Instead they enjoy the "in the meantime" experience with an attractive, young lady and then on to the next best thing.  Workaholic older men are too busy thinking about jobs and money to care much about a lover's feeling, accomplishments, and other things that matter.  The selfish simply want their periodic sexual desires met with no strings attached.  It isn't any wonder why many are divorced--the "it's all about me" philosophy doesn't go well with marriage, children, and household responsibilities.

The wealthy but cheap older men spend a great deal of time in doors on off days.  They don't like going out much because all that means is more money spent that they prefer to save.  Some young women are blind-sided by this type because they start off treating them so well, but in time the newness wears off and the older men's true selves begin to show especially after they have received what they wanted, sex with a beautiful woman and companionship.  When things become dull, they grow weary of dating and relationships.  So they give their all back to jobs or businesses while the gullible women check their phones hoping to hearing from them.  "Could he be back with his wife?  What am I going to do, he doesn't send any money anymore?  I was starting to fall for that guy..."

What many gullible women overlook, at least initially during the early dating stages, are the self-absorbed attributes in successful men.  They are consumed with getting their needs met from the start.  The signs aren't easily recognized because these men tend to attract women like themselves.  Selfish women are too busy focused on themselves to pay any attention to warning signs that a date might be trouble.  When a woman is immature and desperate for things like:  attention, money and sex, she won't think too much about how she is treated until her needs are no longer being met.  "What's up with him?  He use to be so nice.  He gave me whatever I wanted!  Now he is so mean!"

Dating rich older men is a bit different than dating broke, younger men.  The men who know they can buy just about anyone or anything, expect to be pleased.  So they want more for their time and money than a broken man who is just happy being with a head-turner 10. 

Young women who date rich put up with things that other women wouldn't even consider.  This is because most women are looking for more in a relationship besides money and gifts, but not the 10 looking for a 10.  She wants cash, business, opportunities, and whatever else that rich man can afford to give her! 

Since many successful men know that most people are after their cash, property, etc. they are going to be guarded and will not always come off as nice and accommodating especially when they are aware of a young woman's motives
.  Whether you are rich and older or young and broke, know that whatever your intention if it isn't good, expect to be taken advantage of sooner or later.

Nicholl McGuire maintains this blog and is the author of She's Crazy (a book for battered men). 

Dating Younger Women (Blog) - Does Age Really Matter?

It all depends on who you ask, "Does age really matter?"  For years this blog has shared personal as well as expert opinion about dating older men and younger women.  Well I can certainly tell you that those who scream the loudest that age doesn't matter, at least initially, get a rude awakening as the relationship grows older.  The wider the age gap, the more differences and the more bad news you eventually find out about your older or younger partner.

There simply are things that young women just don't understand or have the mindset to deal with concerning older men.  Take for instance, life experiences and personal health woes, some younger women (not all of course) can't relate to men who are having a mid-life crisis no more than mature women.  Older men have their share of the blues and the only thing that some young women can think of are their own selfish needs being met.

Now what about the older men who are a bit outdated and unwise?  They gravitate to young women in the hopes that they will get sex and a companion.  However, it doesn't work that way in time especially if there is no sincere connection with the young lady.  A number of young women feel doubtful about the May-December relationship and question what really is the older guy's motives for even considering them.  "I'm broke, still learning things about life...why is he really bothering with me when he could be with someone his own age?"  Whatever the reason an older male comes up with to make the inquisitive,young woman feel secure, it isn't good enough.  She most likely will move on sooner or later.

The takeaway is age matters when you give the relationship some time.  You will see and feel the difference.

Nicholl

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How Do I Find Myself? What Will You Have to Risk, Change to Be Happy with You? (Young Women)

What's the Point of Dating Older, Younger if No Longer Into It?

In previous entries I provided a host of information that talks about age gap dating experiences, family woes, health concerns, and more, and yet some will continue to date older or younger even when their hearts or minds are not that into it anymore.

There is a self-deception that occurs with some daters. It goes something like this, "I guess it's okay.  I mean I like her/him.  I really hope things work.  I know I am his/her type.  Besides I have a lot of money...look good, still fit...a great catch!"  Most likely, if the person is displaying signs they don't like you much, you aren't as good as you think.  But it's okay.  You can move on if only you are willing.

I found someone online over a decade ago and I admit that I wasn't really feeling older guys at the time.  I had a history that didn't treat me so nice.  I had made up in my mind at the time that if it didn't work, I wasn't sticking around and I meant it.  When you know you have reached that point when the young lady is annoying you more than pleasing you or the older man is being controlling rather than loving, it's time to make some hard decisions.

I know it can be tough.  One man many years ago I had to let go because I was 19 and he was about 41.  He really didn't do it for me.  I knew there were some insecurities he had like the time when I brushed his hair not realizing that I uncovered his thinning spot.  Irritated he swept it back, "I'm sorry..." I said.  Talk about awkward.  The man in crisis also drank much at times and didn't mind visiting me when he was drunk.  What a waste!  Yeah, that is what I was thinking.  I didn't respect him and neither did he me, because why would he show up drunk?

Anyway, you need established relationship boundaries my friends. Once one, two or more are crossed and you just aren't feeling the fellow or gal, move on.  Don't punish, insult, complain...there's no point in dating older or younger when you have personal hang-ups with age, personality, wit, and more. 

Older people can be boring at times even when they think they are not and younger people can have too much energy...so why complain about the person you picked?  Stick to your own age if dating younger or older is just not working any longer.

Nicholl