Thursday

When She Loses Interest in the Rich Older Man

From calling him names during an argument to having fits in public about what her rich older boyfriend does and doesn't do for her, the young woman appears to lack common sense and self-control when in a relationship with a rich older man.  But does she have good reason to act so ugly?  Maybe not, but this young woman in the example is definitely losing interest and respect for her older partner, but why?

He doesn't keep up his appearance or health.

When they first started dating, both appeared very attractive to one another, but over time people get comfortable with one another, and before long they let themselves go.  The younger woman starts seeing those signs of aging up close and personal on her partner and starts to think about things that aren't positive or uplifting especially if he isn't a very nice person to her.  In time, her disappointments start coming out in her conversation sometimes as suggestions and other times as insults.  "Why can't you take Viagra, old man!  Why do I put up with you when I can get a younger guy who looks far better?  Why talk about me and what I do, what about you?" A disgruntled young woman who isn't happy with her partner can be verbally abusive to the point where an older man will want to do some things to her that he might regret.  Save yourself future arguments, take care of mind, body and spirit on a daily basis!  The truth hurts, so if an older man chooses to date a younger woman he has to work harder on his appearance a little more than he would if he were with a woman his own age.

He was no different than an unwise, irresponsible young man.

Most younger women who date older men do it because they want to try something different, heard some good things about dating older men, and just naturally want someone older for any number of reasons.  Women in their 20s know that many men in their age group are immature, not knowledgeable when it comes to making a woman happy, and have no short or long term goals for career, family, lifestyle, and more.  Oftentimes, young men are given the pass, so to speak, for their lack of wealth and foolish behaviors.  But a mature man is held up to higher standards by both young and older women as well as observant males in his girlfriend's family, because "he should know better...he has lived on this earth long enough...he should have made something with his life at his age," some say.  When an older man has dropped the ball when it comes to caring for his young partner and seeing to it that she wants for nothing, the young woman becomes difficult to converse or live with leaving the rich older man feeling frustrated and ready to end the relationship.

He has too many responsibilities and little time for her.

From phone calls to meetings, the rich older man is always needed by someone or some group.  When he spends more time talking to people outside the home than in the home, he will not be able to keep a young, active woman around.  She will grow weary of having to adjust her schedule because of his "prior engagements."  The woman will start acting insecure and jealous when she sees her man here, there and everywhere with other attractive young and older women.  Some young women need to be tended to because they don't have quite enough experience being alone and dependent on self.  So she will battle for your attention if you aren't giving her any in more ways than just walking around without any panties on.

He says one thing, but does another.

Most women in relationships stay with their partners because somewhere down the line, their men promised them something.  But when a man doesn't follow through with his promises, there will be hell to pay sooner or later.  "So you said you wanted to marry me, why didn't you?  You said you wanted children, why haven't we had any?  You said that you would take me to Hawaii, why not?  You told me that you would introduce me to your family, why don't you bring me around them?"  If one ignores a disgruntled young woman's questions, makes excuses, or gets angry about what she is asking, then expect her to be unhappy, a nag, and ready to rid herself of someone who can't keep his promises.

Before dating any young woman, understand that they are no different than an older woman when it comes to losing interest in you.  A sweet woman can become sour quickly when you expect her to do things that you know you aren't doing.  So keep your appearance and health up to par, act mature, balance your time between job and relationship, and most of all keep your promises!

Nicholl McGuire

Wednesday

Things that Some Older Men Say to Get a Pretty Young Thing to Come and Talk to Them

1. Hey, you did the right thing putting that umbrella up, because sugar melts.  Keep smiling, baby! -- older gentleman passing by just had to say something.

2.  Hmm, mmm, (whistle).--
older gentleman who was at a lost for words.

3.  Hello.  What's your name?--a normal older man who couldn't think of anything creative to say.

4.  How are you doing?  Do you need help with something?  I can help you with anything you need.--
a desperate old man who needed either money, sex or both.

5.  You have a nice smile, come on over here and talk with me awhile.

6.  Do you need a lift?-- an older man who might not be as nice as he looked.

7.  Let me help you with that.--a typical move to get close to a young woman.

8.  Do I know you from somewhere?--he knew he didn't know me, but he got me to speak.

9.  Have I seen you here before?

10.  You seem to be lost Dorothy...you are a long way from Kansas City. (Wizard of the Oz character reference.)

11.  How long have you been waiting for the bus.--a great conversation starter.

12.  Do you think this rain will ever stop?--another great conversation starter.

13.  How old are you?--What the?  Do I know you?

14.  Where are you from?--Is this question really necessary?  Are you asking me out on a date?

When is Too Old, Too Old?

I noticed that the older I get, the older the men get that I attract.  When I was in my early 20s the men were in their 30s and early 40s.  Now that I am nearing the big 40, the men are in their late 50s and 60s. 

Every now and again I manage to have an interesting conversation with a man in his 70s who wants to take me home, but there's just one problem, the wife doesn't think it's a good idea.

I hope you are enjoying this blog.  There is much more to come, so keep reading!

Nicholl

Monday

Older Guy, Young Guy - a poem by Nicholl McGuire

I'm not going to lie,
"Yes, he's an older guy."

Younger guy sighs,
then he asks, "Why?"

"Because he doesn't say bye."
Older man knows he's going to die.
Younger guy too concerned about "me and my."

"I'm not going to cheat and lie,"
coming from the mouth of a younger guy.

But older man says, "That's a lie!"
He has been there, done that,
seen the movie, and knows
that younger guys still want to get groovy.

"I just need you, want you, don't need anything!"
But that's just a sad song a deceitful guy likes to sing.

Older guy warns about those "young boys"
and how they play girls like Barbie toys.

Young guy tells a story of an old dude,
talks about how he acts real rude.

Both telling on one another,
no male loyalty to each other.

So many lame games,
so many young dames.

Older guy can buy one or two today,
and have a new lady friend by next May.

Young guy can beg and plead,
and hope that he can get a little for free.

Sex does nothing more than perplex,
creates a few too many train wrecks.

True love comes to those who limit strife,
comes to a mature man who desires a wife.

Nicholl McGuire

Thursday

How Older Men Get Good-Looking Younger Women



This video shows the real truth when it comes to how an older man is able to attract a younger woman that may appear like she is not his type.  Even if you don't agree with everything in the video, understand this is what really happens in many age-gap relationships whether it is an older man interested in dating a younger woman or an older woman interested in pursuing a relationship with a younger man.  The reality is if you are broke, busted and disgusted and act that way, you will not get what you really want.  The man in the video exudes confidence, the young woman displays energy and youthfulness.  Enjoy the video!

If You Can't Keep Up, Shut Up

Sometimes we seek people who we think are a good match for us because they have a quality that we only wished we had.  He is fun, she is attractive and smart--they both like to party.  So we reason in our minds, "I want a relationship like theirs."  Knowing full well we are ill-equipped to handle certain personalities and interests. 

Whether you are an introvert or extrovert, rich, poor, happy or miserable, it would make sense to update yourself on what you like and don't like in a relationship.  Maybe you have changed over the years.  If you find yourself getting out more alone, then most likely you will be more adventurous with someone you are dating.  Test yourself on some of those interests others enjoy before you make them your own.  If you find yourself having to struggle to keep up with your dates, you are most likely pretending to be something you are not.  Some people just aren't active, don't enjoy eating healthy, or stepping out of their comfort zones.  Others are insecure and jealous.  They don't know how to deal with public stares, out-spoken individuals, or friends, exes, family etc.  Knowing this, you can't make anyone be something they are not (at least for a long period of time).  You might be able to persuade an individual to think outside of the box, but how long they stay out the box is ultimately up to them.

Over the years, I have dated cookie cutter kind of men.  They all were cut from the same dough and shaped the same way in their thought processes.  Most enjoyed pretty much the same things--eating, sleeping, watching sports on TV, and sex on weekends.  When I tried to get them to open up about other interests, they looked at me with a dumb look or criticized me for my ideas.  Some of these men really meant well and attempted to impress me by thinking outside the box, but that was short-lived. 

When dating, you have to honestly know what you like and don't like and be sincere when you communicate your interests, boundaries and other similar things to your dates.  Putting on an act, like you are the creative type when you know you are really the logical type, will only cause friction in your future relationship.  Pretending like you are an extrovert when in fact you know you are an introvert will only cause unnecessary conflict.  From saints to sinners, don't try to be something you know you are not deep down inside just because you think it impresses someone, you are gaining some type of material wealth, etc. 

Too often couples attempt to change one another.  He doesn't like his partner acting friendly toward others so he acts negatively in an effort to get her to stop being so cordial.  She doesn't like the fact he is a couch potato so she nags him about going places.  If you can't keep up, shut up!  No sense in arguing about why a date doesn't like, doesn't want, or doesn't enjoy your company and vice versa.  Avoid the temptation to exaggerate or lie about who you are and what you like from the beginning!  Take notice of those subtle signs a date is not the one before you agree to settle down with someone who may or may not be your match. 

Nicholl McGuire

Sunday

It's Just Not Working Out, Now What?

So you tried dating older, younger, close to your own age, and every number in between but this dating stuff is wearing you out, besides you are with someone right now that you aren't completely sold on.  When you feel this way, time to fall back. 

It takes time, money and energy to date as you very well know.  But sometimes other demands in life get the best of us and then those issues start trickling over into our dating experiences.  Other times we simply don't want to be bothered with dating, but we will go ahead with a romance just because we don't want to hurt someone's feelings.  However, sooner rather than later, a date may pick up on our lack of interest and jump ship or stick around and begin to annoy us until we make a move.  It is better to cut one's losses early then to string people along especially those who are younger or older.

A man who is in his midlife years is typically looking for someone who is going to keep him company and stick around for awhile.  He realizes the importance of life and values his years hoping to finally find happiness in his personal life.  The mature man may not be interested in marriage, but desire all the things that being in a committed relationship may bring.  But, this is a selfish motive especially if he chooses to continue to date a younger woman who hopes to get married and have children one day.  She will be hurt, confused, and possibly scarred for the rest of her life, if the older man doesn't do what's right and share how he truly feels and why a long term relationship with him just isn't going to work.

As for the younger woman, she most likely feels like she has a lot of years ahead to find her true love so she may not settle with the older man, but then again there is always that possibility that she will stick around if he treats her well.  She may fight feelings of wanting to let him go, but she may put on act in the meantime until she is sure.  Now if a younger woman chooses to date an older man for reasons other than the typical companionship, sex, new experience, security, etc. then there may be something more going on with her than meets the eye.  It isn't any wonder that someone dating her doesn't know what to think of the relationship.  There is always someone who breaks the mold.

Both younger and older dates, like any other date, have their reasons why they think a romance is a bust, not worth pursuing right now, or okay but without or with the sex depending on the agreement between the couple.  But whatever you think you want or don't want from your date, be clear about it.  For example, "I am no longer interested in a romantic relationship...I think it is best we part ways because I can't give you what you want...I realize we are not a match...I prefer to focus on XYZ and have no desire to date anymore." 

Avoid the temptation to pretend like things are okay when they are not.  People who fake like there is a future with someone will be found out and when that happens don't be surprised if Crazy shows up and shows out especially if you say things like, "I love you...I want to keep having sex...Live with me...Don't leave me...Give me sometime to think about things."  Crazy will yell, "So all this time you have been leading me on?  You never really wanted me, you just wanted to use me!  You don't love me, you love my...I outta call your wife!  Better yet, tell everyone you know what I think of you!"  Uh oh.

So when you are ready to stop dating someone:

1.  Do it gradually.  Less phone calls, dates, and avoid taking this person around your family and friends.

2.  Be sure you are no longer leaving things over this person's home.

3.  Don't tell his or her relatives, friends or co-workers how you truly feel.

4.  Contact someone if you feel like your date will act violently toward you.  Record your conversation, meet in a public area, or have a police escort come with you to the residence.

5.  If the person begins to stalk you, leave a photo with the security personnel at your workplace and tell them you wish not to be contacted by this person.  Alert your family and friends you are no longer seeing this person.  If need be, get a Protection From Abuse form from your local police department and also take one out in the community where your date resides.

6.  Keep track of dates and times your date as showed up unannounced at your job, home, and also contacted you by voicemail, email, snail mail, text, online chat, etc.

Be wise and try to maintain your cool as much as possible when ending a relationship.

Nicholl McGuire also maintains this dating blog as well, click here.

Tuesday

5 Things About Older Men No Woman Likes

So you got her, but can you keep her?  The younger, intelligent woman is not going to spend the best years of her life committed to a mature man who just can't seem to understand why some things he does or doesn't do are deal breakers.  If you love her, you will do what is right--without the excuse-making, blame game, reverse psychology tactics, and emotional or physical abuse.  No sane woman is going to tolerate the following forever and always!  Sooner or later she is going to take a stand, so rather than listen to her rant, pay attention and make needed changes.

1.  Men who don't keep themselves up ie.) take daily showers, cut hair, etc.

Would you want to smell a nasty body odor from your partner or look at her disheveled hair often?  Of course not.  You would say something to her wouldn't you.  So what makes you think she wants to keep tolerating some things about you that you have obviously let go? 

2.  Men who are users and abusers.

How long will you ask her to give you something, make this, or do that before she becomes visibly upset?  Do as much as you can on your own, without her assistance, and maybe you won't look like you are using and abusing her.  As one woman once shared with me about doing for men, "Iron wears out."  A woman will grow weary of being nice to you when you don't bother to appreciate her and do what she likes sometimes without resistance.  Men have said similar things--it takes two to tango, my friend.  Would you like to be used and abused by her?

3.  Men who lie or exaggerate about things like:  who they know, where they have been, and what happened while there.

If you can't help her, don't hurt her with lies and exaggerations.  Some women are vengeful--they hold alot in before they unleash their wrath--what you thought you got away with five days ago or even five years ago just might come back to haunt you, so tell the truth!

4.  Men who say one thing and do another. ie.) He says he likes to go places, but in reality he is a couch potato.

When you have dated much, there are some things that you should know by now when it comes to women, like not telling your date you love her when you really don't  know what you feel or making yourself out to be someone that you really aren't, like a rich big shot--yeah right.  Meanwhile, the reality is you are in over your head in debt and you hope your date offers to pay sometime.  Be open!

5.  Men who have little room in their lives for a committed relationship.

As much as you would like to date that special someone, the truth is you barely have enough time to clip your toenails.  Seriously, re-think dating a young woman when you know you have little time and patience.  She will desire your attention and affection and if you can't give it to her, there will be someone else (most likely younger than you) that will fulfill that void one day.  Think before you take the leap!

These five tips are just a start on the right track when it comes to dating and keeping a young woman, I'm sure you can think of five more.  So do take the time to better yourself before arguments get out of hand.

Nicholl McGuire 

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