How you begin a relationship sets the foundation for many things more to come. There are mature men who don't mind spending wads of cash on their younger companions from the start of the relationship, but there are those men who hold on to their money as if they fear spending it. Then you have those men in between who know how to balance their wealth and spread it around such as: save, invest, donate, and so on. When you are in a relationship with any woman, whether young or old, you have to take a good long look at yourself. When things start to go wrong, you have to admit that somewhere down the line you presented yourself one way and your date saw you in a totally different way. Whether you were clear about your intentions, habits, beliefs and other things, evidently you didn't make your point crystal clear--now the drama begins.
Some men disguise themselves as being the playful, outgoing and talkative types with younger women, at least in the beginning of the relationship; however, in time, they begin to get comfortable, too comfortable. The same is true for younger women too. Rather than seeing his younger partner as different than he and vice versa while trying to adjust, he hopes that she will act more like him--laid back, a home body, and whatever else he truly sees himself to be.
Younger, active women have a hard time with older men who don't have much going on outside their jobs and television screens. If a mature date presented himself not to be the couch potato type early on, then that is what she expects to see, a man who is doing more outside or around the home besides sitting, eating and sleeping. When the truth comes out about some older men's intentions, habits, and more, he becomes irritable, disappointed, and somehow blames his partner for the false impression he gave her from the start. "I don't like going places...I don't like seeing shows...I prefer to stay home...I never said I liked that..." the once handsome, active older man who presented himself as such, behind the scenes, is nothing more than a grumpy old man. Now the relationship takes an ugly turn, "Well, if I would have known this is how you truly are...I would have..." the younger woman complains. "I thought you knew I was this way!" he retorts.
Age differences play a part in a May-December relationship. There are those older men who prefer to go to bed early, while others stay up late into the night while nodding on and off in front of TV or computer screens. There are younger women who do the same. But if no one shows his or her true colors from the start, then you don't know what you might get later on down the road.
You are what you create. If you don't want a gold digger, then don't spend money like your younger date is one. If you don't want a lazy older man, then don't do everything for him. You get the point? So do take a good, long look at what you have done so far that caused unnecessary drama in your relationship and work to change it before someone threatens to break up--that is if that hasn't happened already (sigh).
Nicholl McGuire
A age gap dating advice blog that provides valuable tips when dating older men and younger women. Thought-provoking relationship tips for older men seeking to date younger women. Please be advised to seek a professional for serious issues. Contributors are not all licensed or trained in relationship counseling. This blog is not for people under the age of 18.
Wednesday
Mary-Kate Olsen and Olivier Sarkozy's Unlikely Romance Is Still Going Strong - Yahoo! omg!
In this example, Mary Kate looks very young especially in one photo where she looks like his daughter. It makes one feel like the dirty older man is being naughty.
If you are going to date someone who doesn't look close to your age, you might want to lose the little girl look if you want to gain some respect. Unfortunately, looks matter in our society.
Mary-Kate Olsen and Olivier Sarkozy's Unlikely Romance Is Still Going Strong - Yahoo! omg!
If you are going to date someone who doesn't look close to your age, you might want to lose the little girl look if you want to gain some respect. Unfortunately, looks matter in our society.
Mary-Kate Olsen and Olivier Sarkozy's Unlikely Romance Is Still Going Strong - Yahoo! omg!
You going to get worms - older dating younger - YouTube
"You gon' get worms!" This is a statement that some older people in the African American community tease younger people with for dating someone older. Funny video with valid points, enjoy!
You gone get worms - YouTube
You gone get worms - YouTube
Thursday
Do Some Say You Are Wise? Your Date Might Not Appreciate Wisdom
Nowadays lighthearted, silly statements in videos, movies and
songs seem to get the popular vote. For
many, life is just too dull, serious, routine, and so on. So single daters seek a pick me up whether that be in
a person, place or thing. However, what daters should seek is love and wisdom above moments of laughter.
Many young people who haven’t experienced much in life such as: long-term relationships,
consistent employment, foreign travel, years of parenting, etc. bring a limited view to one deemed wise and
one who is mature and has no direction, well he or she is considered nothing
more than a fool.
Now if you put two
immature, inexperienced people together, the chances that the couple will get
along are quite good at least for a time until serious issues come up. But if you pair a
wise person (whether young or old) with someone who is unwise mentally and
spiritually, you will have an unbalanced relationship where one is often
investing knowledge, love, experiences, and possibly money, while the other is like a bump on a
log. After awhile, the one receiving all
those wise tips is going to get weary of his or her partner, since he or she has very little to bring to the relationship, and eventually
resent him or her. On the other hand,
the wise person is going to regret having wasted so much time hoping for compatibility and a return on his or her investment.
Foolish people don’t like spiritual people and vice
versa. If you are wise, don’t manipulate yourself into
thinking that you can change, re-arrange, create, or motivate a silly, immature
or uneducated person to act the way you want.
If you believe this, then consider yourself controlling.
Now there are those who you know who may enjoy
your teachings and thoughtful insight, but they don’t spend as much time with
you like an intimate partner would.
Wisdom is not popular, doesn’t rank high when it comes to character
attributes, and isn’t what young people consider, “Cool.” Besides, there are
even older adults who run from wisdom because they don’t want to feel: old, convicted
about sins, or think they should change.
So if you are one who has been told you are “wise,” be
mindful that those you might attract may not be as wise as you. They also will not help you toward creating the
kind of relationship you so desire either especially if they don’t respect or appreciate
wise people.
You can test dates simply by sharing biblical quotes, thoughts on love, philosophical concepts related to things you think he or she enjoys, etc. Then watch your date's reactions. Do this enough times
in different ways on different days (especially bible related verses), and the apple of your eye will begin to
look spoiled to you. Once you realize
this person is definitely not someone you could see yourself spending your life
with, break free. Don’t be like so many
who try to rescue, rehabilitate, change, or build up fools. If one cannot or refuses to do anything that
will make them better in all that he or she does, yet you are this type, then you don’t
want to choose the broken, emotionally hurt, and wounded for a life-long partner.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Floral Beauty on a Dead End Street and other books.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Floral Beauty on a Dead End Street and other books.
Wednesday
7 Mistakes Some Mature Men Make with Younger Women
He finds someone who he really likes, a younger woman,
someone who looks like she could be his daughter. The more he spends time with her, the more he
sees a future with her. However, there
are obstacles internally and externally that prevent this courtship from being a wonderful, memorable experience.
The mature man made some
mistakes during this age gap dating experience that makes her question his loyalty, possibly caused discord among
family and friends while leaving the couple feeling uneasy about the future.
You could be making the same errors when it
comes to dating younger women.
One. Are you impressing the
younger woman with your material wealth?
Stop it. If you don't want a gold-digger don't encourage her to act like one. Be humble, modest about your wealth. If asked, answer briefly, but avoid bragging.
Two. Did you tell others how
old she is?
If you did already, stop that too. If you don't want condemnation, don't invite it! The more you talk about how young and youthful she is, the more the uncomfortable tension in the air will grow especially amongst jealous older women. You will be making it hard for her to be welcomed into your inner circle when you bring up her age often.
Three. Are you having sex
before really feeling comfortable enough to be seen with her in public places?
Don't do it again when you know you aren't ready to present her in front of everyone. You are only setting yourself up for future arguments. If you aren't serious about her, don't make her think you are.
Four. Do you talk about your
young partner with exs in order to create a desire for
them to want to reconnect?
Why would any man do this? But they do. An ex is an ex for a reason and drawing her out of her cave of anger and confusion by talking about your new girlfriend often is only going to make matters worse sooner or later.
Five. Do you lie or cover up
unflattering details of your life in order to keep your young partner
around?
So as to appear like he is in the know and is "cool," some older men will not share much about themselves and act more interested in their date. If you want an open, honest relationship, it would make sense to share aspects of yourself as they come up, not hide them.
Six. Are you acting
controlling, like a father, and forbid her to have a life apart from you?
A younger woman can detect a father figure a mile away. Some gravitate to older men because there are some things that they do that remind them of their fathers. However, many don't want their partner to become their father. So when you find yourself monitoring her every activity, you have to ask yourself, "Do I have a desire for a daughter?" If this is the case, let her go, don't use her to fulfill your void.
Seven. Do you keep her a
secret and then spring her on critical family and friends?
There relationship is not off to a good start when you can't even talk to your family about her or you feel apprehensive about sharing someone that you love with them. Conquer the fear and the nervousness simply by preparing everyone who you know will support you and leave out those you know you don't. Springing a younger woman up on anyone will make them do more gossiping than welcoming--and how do you think that negativity in the air will make your partner feel?
Take a moment to pray, plan, and protect that one you believe is the apple of your eye!
Nicholl McGuire
Monday
Whose Whispering in His Ear, Her Ear?
A younger woman and an older man in a dating relationship is often critiqued by those who think he is too old and she is too young. The critic doing the questioning is often jealous or has been hurt in the past having been in a similar relationship.
The opposition against the relationship can be so stressful at times, that sometimes a younger woman or older man dating one another will cave under the pressure. He starts permitting his mind to be open to what an ex, mother, sister, brother, cousin or someone else says about his choice in a partner. The younger woman starts believing what the aunt, grandmother, or friend believes about her man's intentions. Before long, the couple lies in one another's arms with other people's concerns on their minds while distrusting one another.
The couple is also more likely to see the flaws in each other; therefore, one's attitude might be often negative. She becomes easily irritated with him. He starts focusing on all the things that make her wrong for him. Neither one truly sees the part that the outside forces have played on the relationship. She thinks, "It's him." He thinks, "It's her." No one bothers to trace back their negative emotions to that phone call with a jealous friend who isn't in any serious relationship or that mother who is jilted because her husband doesn't treat her so well. "Why do I feel this way?" The couple should ask. "It wasn't that long ago that I felt my partner was "the one," what changed over time? Who have I been talking and listening to?"
The sooner you take control over your emotional mood swings concerning the relationship, the better! Consider the source. When you find that the person you are spending time with encourages you to talk about your significant, cut him or her off and turn the tables around on him or her, "How is your relationship...what have you been doing lately?" Chances are they aren't too busy or too happy, because why would they bother to involve themselves in your personal business? After you know whose been aiding you negatively, the next thing you want to do is limit your conversations with this person or gradually cut him or her off when it comes to your personal business. You will also want to spend more time focusing on the positive regarding your relationship and work toward winning your partner's trust, respect, love, etc. If you don't back up your love with some action, unfortunately your relationship will be doomed to fail. Keep negative, foolish people out of your ear!
Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and other books.
The opposition against the relationship can be so stressful at times, that sometimes a younger woman or older man dating one another will cave under the pressure. He starts permitting his mind to be open to what an ex, mother, sister, brother, cousin or someone else says about his choice in a partner. The younger woman starts believing what the aunt, grandmother, or friend believes about her man's intentions. Before long, the couple lies in one another's arms with other people's concerns on their minds while distrusting one another.
The couple is also more likely to see the flaws in each other; therefore, one's attitude might be often negative. She becomes easily irritated with him. He starts focusing on all the things that make her wrong for him. Neither one truly sees the part that the outside forces have played on the relationship. She thinks, "It's him." He thinks, "It's her." No one bothers to trace back their negative emotions to that phone call with a jealous friend who isn't in any serious relationship or that mother who is jilted because her husband doesn't treat her so well. "Why do I feel this way?" The couple should ask. "It wasn't that long ago that I felt my partner was "the one," what changed over time? Who have I been talking and listening to?"
The sooner you take control over your emotional mood swings concerning the relationship, the better! Consider the source. When you find that the person you are spending time with encourages you to talk about your significant, cut him or her off and turn the tables around on him or her, "How is your relationship...what have you been doing lately?" Chances are they aren't too busy or too happy, because why would they bother to involve themselves in your personal business? After you know whose been aiding you negatively, the next thing you want to do is limit your conversations with this person or gradually cut him or her off when it comes to your personal business. You will also want to spend more time focusing on the positive regarding your relationship and work toward winning your partner's trust, respect, love, etc. If you don't back up your love with some action, unfortunately your relationship will be doomed to fail. Keep negative, foolish people out of your ear!
Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and other books.
Friday
Christian Dating: Older Men and Younger Women
In the Bible there are men in relationships with younger women. For example, Boaz and Ruth were one such couple. Now there is nothing wrong with men and women dating one another. But what is wrong is when manipulation, lying, abuse, sexual sins, and ridicule is included in the relationship. Just think, if all of this relationship drama was ongoing in the book of Genesis with the first couple, Adam and Eve would have been fighting one another, ignoring God, and turning their future offspring against one another! Then again, who knows what they said to one another after they were expelled from the garden? When dating someone who is younger or older we have to understand that just because they attend church, read the Bible, have a history of being saved, sanctified and Holy Ghost filled doesn't necessarily mean that this person is someone who we should be dating and this person may not be who God had in mind for us.
Sometimes, as believers, we are very quick to assume that someone we are dating is "the one" and "chosen by God," because they simply appear to act like what we think a believer should be. We start trying to make a square peg fit in a round hole. "He likes what I like...," she says, but upon closer inspection, that isn't altogether true. "She is perfect for me...," he boasts, but then six months from now he is on his knees crying out to God, "Send her away, I made a mistake!" Not so fast! You wanted someone to come into your life because you were most likely lonely, desperate, confused, or just wanted a friend. You might have had a list of what you wanted, and so now you got her or him with a few things added to that list and a few removed. Why would God permit certain experiences to happen and not others when it comes to relating to the opposite sex?
Well, we are to trust in God and we are not to lean on our own understanding, so the Bible tells us. We should also consider Romans 8:28 when it comes to our personal experiences. God has a way of teaching us a lesson or two about life and it isn't always going to come from a church setting, a CD, or a Christian television program. Sometimes these fires we put ourselves in, God will put them out for a time and teach us while we are looking on at the destruction that we caused for ourselves and others. It's like God taking us by the hand and pointing out our faults, "See what you done, now look what I am going to do. I know that you made a mistake, but I can't let you just walk away, there are some things I need to teach you about yourself, the other person and how this all relates to my perfect will."
So if you believe in a mighty God and you know that you may have made some mistakes with someone or you are seeking God about the person you are currently with, may I direct you to the original plan, what does God want to do in you and through you? What do you recall about walking with him, before you got distracted with this person, job, children etc. that he wanted you to do in the first place? You might have to go back to the Book of Genesis in your life to get the answers you need.
Consider this, don't let an older man/younger woman dating relationship keep you from your higher calling. Stay true to the God who saved you back when your current partner "...didn't know you when...!" Men and women can't save you, but an awesome Creator whose son's name is Jesus can, get back to spending time with your first love and he will lead you when it comes to your human love.
To God be the glory!
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic
Sometimes, as believers, we are very quick to assume that someone we are dating is "the one" and "chosen by God," because they simply appear to act like what we think a believer should be. We start trying to make a square peg fit in a round hole. "He likes what I like...," she says, but upon closer inspection, that isn't altogether true. "She is perfect for me...," he boasts, but then six months from now he is on his knees crying out to God, "Send her away, I made a mistake!" Not so fast! You wanted someone to come into your life because you were most likely lonely, desperate, confused, or just wanted a friend. You might have had a list of what you wanted, and so now you got her or him with a few things added to that list and a few removed. Why would God permit certain experiences to happen and not others when it comes to relating to the opposite sex?
Well, we are to trust in God and we are not to lean on our own understanding, so the Bible tells us. We should also consider Romans 8:28 when it comes to our personal experiences. God has a way of teaching us a lesson or two about life and it isn't always going to come from a church setting, a CD, or a Christian television program. Sometimes these fires we put ourselves in, God will put them out for a time and teach us while we are looking on at the destruction that we caused for ourselves and others. It's like God taking us by the hand and pointing out our faults, "See what you done, now look what I am going to do. I know that you made a mistake, but I can't let you just walk away, there are some things I need to teach you about yourself, the other person and how this all relates to my perfect will."
So if you believe in a mighty God and you know that you may have made some mistakes with someone or you are seeking God about the person you are currently with, may I direct you to the original plan, what does God want to do in you and through you? What do you recall about walking with him, before you got distracted with this person, job, children etc. that he wanted you to do in the first place? You might have to go back to the Book of Genesis in your life to get the answers you need.
Consider this, don't let an older man/younger woman dating relationship keep you from your higher calling. Stay true to the God who saved you back when your current partner "...didn't know you when...!" Men and women can't save you, but an awesome Creator whose son's name is Jesus can, get back to spending time with your first love and he will lead you when it comes to your human love.
To God be the glory!
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic
It’s Not Always Easy Dating Someone Almost Half Your Age (Younger or Older)
You may not admit it to those around you because you don’t
want them to tell you, “I told you so.” But it’s really not easy to date
someone with a mindset that is from decades ago when women/men acted this way
and that way. It can be challenging to
be with someone who has more energy than you and sees years ahead of them to
get things right, while you think “I don’t have long to live to not get things
right.”
So on and on we think about just how different we are from
one another—older man, younger woman—until that one day when he or she says
some things that make us feel like, “Well maybe we aren’t that different…” But then disagreements come up and suffocate
all the niceties, don’t they? Things are
said that remind us of those age differences once again. “She is so immature!” He says.
“He is so old and boring!” She thinks.
You try to deny the truth and suppress your uncomfortable
feelings, but neither is working. For
some couples, they start obsessing about ending the relationship. Then they enlist others to encourage them, “Maybe
being with him/her is not what you really want.
If you would have listened to me, I would have introduced you to someone
who was more your age.”
When you are all alone at home or in your car and with no
distraction, you have to make up in your mind whether you are committed to this
younger woman or older man. Are you? You have to be the one that decides if this
person is worth all the criticism, future joy AND upset, health issues,
etc. If you know that you just don’t
have the energy, mindset or time to commit to the relationship; then don’t
deceive yourself or that older man or younger woman who might possibly be in
love with you. Let this person know that
you are not interested in marriage, living together, children, or anything else
that typical committed couples have.
Rather, tell the one you admire (or possibly might love) that you are
still working on some areas in your life, and you are not quite ready to settle
down. It is better that you are open and
truthful, this way your lover/friend can prepare his or herself emotionally and
not demand any commitment from you.
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