Wednesday

The Worry Over the Age Difference

He may have joked about your being a baby or was angry and accused you of acting immature. She may have commented about how old you are looking lately or laughed about how much older you act when in certain situations. It happens, the reality sinks in that she is young enough to be your daughter or he is old enough to be your dad. Before long, you are stressing about the large gap between your ages.

The thoughts of age differences come and go like a nagging headache. You would love to feel comfortable in this relationship, like you did with all the others when you started out, but you are finding it more and more difficult. How many times will you think, “When I was only this age, he was…” or “When she was only a baby, I was graduating from college…”? Don’t ignore those gut feelings. Some important differences are beginning to show and you will need to think about what makes you feel this way, address it, and if there is no resolve, consider moving on.

Sticking around with someone who you aren’t 100% convinced you want to commit to a long-term relationship will only conjure up feelings of resentment and thoughts like these: “Why did I ever get involved with him? What was I thinking when I slept with her? Who am I kidding, she is just too young! I could never see myself with him forever!”

When you least expect it, out slips something you wish you could take back. The next thing you know you find yourself or your partner is apologizing. However, insecure feelings have already arisen and there is nothing an apology can do. He or she will most likely worry over, “What did you really mean by that statement?” for a long time.

The best advice, when it comes to those age difference worries, is to take the time alone (without your partner, family or friends in your ear cheering your relationship or booing it.) Begin to start thinking long-term. The person you are dating has feelings and would very much like to know how you really feel about them. Tell the truth, because if you don’t, your actions (or lack thereof) will speak louder than words. Unfortunately, that’s when relationships problems really start showing up such as: the silent treatment, phone calls go unanswered, a partner starts dating others without officially breaking up, dates decline, arguments are more frequent, and lies increase.

Advice for the Older Dating Man

There are questions I believe for older men getting ready to date that sound a little like these! “Is it worth it?” “Do I have what it takes?” “Can I find a good woman who isn’t too dependent?” “Am I able to attract someone who I will want to marry?”

These are all good and relevant questions, and as advice for the older dating man, for us, they are all very important. We have usually worked now for the majority of our lives and like most older women, we have a lot to bring into a relationship that we could end up loosing. This is a world in whose moral fibers seem to be slipping into darkness.

At the same time technology has advanced to the point where we have more options at our finger tips for finding that elusive soul mate or trying our hand at a second or third marriage.

My advice for the older dating man is this; as a connoisseur in this arena and over fifty, it is to get to know your perspective mate. Is there any hurry? In some cases there may be, only to avoid temptations that would go against any spiritual beliefs. On this subject I can only say that faith is an essential additive in your progress. If the potential mate that you finally find is of your spiritual persuasion then you need to look for the spiritual fruit that only comes through maturity in the belief that you share. Even a mature Christian or whatever persuasion of faith that may be shared can fall into their own willful rut of relationship suicide. This is sometimes unavoidable. In these matters, the only advice I can give is to grasp a healthy and potent dose of forgiveness for the offensive person’s actions and heal thoroughly before trying again. For some, this seems to be an insurmountable task.

I want to address the questions posed above one at a time. A resounding, Yes, it is worth it! Man nor woman was not meant to be alone, nor to grow old without that intimate love and sharing that makes a person complete.

Do you have what it takes? Yes, all of us are of value, all of us have something to offer a potential spouse. We, no matter how ugly we may feel, we can be someone else’s dream husband. There’s an old adage that applies even to us men, and it goes like this, “one woman’s trash, is another woman’s treasure!” Of course it actually was, “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure,” but that had to do with real trash! My advice for the older dating man is, remember what you’re made of!

What’s important is that we have to be able to accept ourselves, before we will be acceptable to our potential spouse. Men, it is imperative that we know who we are and where we have been. It’s important to know what you want and where you want to go! While competence and maturity is an essential part of our character, keep it from becoming pride and arrogance. Your relationship, if it even begins to evolve will fall flat on its face in the midst of those two negative attributes. Women want a man who is confident in himself, but mixed with enough humility to create a proper balance.

As advice for the older dating man, women need a caring and loving man; not a boastful, cunning, arrogant, idiot. By the time we reach that over the hill status in our life we need to have shed those childlike qualities that say- this man never grew out of adolescence!

Can you find a woman who is not too independent? That is a good question! There are a lot of women out there who although their lifestyle or actions may say, I don’t need a man, deep inside; they need us as much as we need them. We were made to be together and to be in love, and not any other way!

To answer the last question, we can be attractive in many ways. Women aren’t as concerned as much at an older age about external qualities as they are with the inner man. We need to be mature, consistent, have integrity in what we do, be honest and being able to be romantic is a very necessary ingredient. At an older age, vanity is not as prevalent and many women can see through the love handles, the pitted facial qualities, the saggy skin and the bifocal lenses to the heart of a sincere, honest, humble, and warm heart and embrace your other qualities as well. So my final advice for the older dating man is this; show them a man who is real and that will last through the rest of the senior years. Better grow old together than to grow old alone.

Aaron Baker

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Tuesday

Tips For Dating Older Men - How to Keep Them Interested

Women never know who they might run into in the dating world. There are all types of men out there - shy ones, talkative ones, shorter ones, and older ones. All men are different, thus they should be all be treated differently. This here is an list of tips for dating older men. Read on to find out how to behave when on a date with men who are years older than you are.

What To Wear
It is safe to assume that most men who are older than you are tend to be more mature in their way of thinking. Revealing or shirt dresses are outfits to avoid wearing when you go out with a much older man. Most tips for dating older men would advise you to wear conservative yet attractive clothes. Stay away from clothes with loud colors such as bright orange or yellow. A solid black or red, or a combination of both, makes a sophisticated and mature statement.

What To Talk About
As with all dating advice, tips for dating older men include the type of conversation you should be having. Keep the conversation interesting by swapping humorous stories, talking about movies, food, hobbies, and any light topic. Talk about things that you both care about. If he is into sports, ask him how he got into it. Give him tidbits of information about you. Most tips for dating older men would advise you to be careful not to talk too much about yourself, as that will seem very selfish and immature. Unless he is the first to bring it up, which is unlikely, do not talk about business or serious family matters on your first date.

How To Keep Him Interested
Mature, older men tend to have a lot of things on their mind all the time. To get inside his head, and maybe his heart, you have to keep him interested. One of the best tips tips for dating older men that you are ever going to get is to make him feel young again. An older man would greatly appreciate a young woman's fresh ideas and points of view.

Yap Shirley has been writing articles professionally, both online and offline, since 4 years ago. This author is not only writing in the subject of health, but also in dieting, fat loss, fitness and many other more.

Friday

Midlife Crisis, Depressed and Anxious, Do Something About It

Often portrayed in only humorous terms in popular culture, male midlife crisis has very real physical causes. Beginning around age 30, testosterone gradually decreases, and can lead to depression, decreased sex drive or erectile dysfunction. In addition, a corresponding increase in SHBG (sex hormone binding globulin) impairs the body's ability to use testosterone.

As well, as men enter midlife, they sleep more lightly, spending less time in a state of deep sleep. This can lead to weight gain, fatigue and irritability because the body is unable to make enough of the hormones required for energy and optimal functioning.

Doing Something About Male Midlife Crisis

There are several steps you can take to improve your overall feeling of well-being and reduce the likelihood of related worries such as sexual dysfunction.

Managing stress will help you sleep easier, as well as reduce symptoms like irritability and fatigue. A daily B-complex vitamin can reduce stress, and minerals like selenium and chromium can boost energy.

Getting plenty of exercise not only has the obvious physical benefits, but it also encourages the quality deep sleep that is important for men undergoing the physical changes of midlife. You should also avoid stimulants like coffee several hours before bed.

Testosterone replacement therapy may also be an appropriate solution that helps mitigate the effects of male midlife.

How Is Testosterone Involved with Male Midlife Crisis?

A consistent finding in the scientific literature is that testosterone increase even by replacement therapy produces an increased feeling of well-being. Published studies show that low levels of free testosterone correlates with symptoms of depression and other psychological disorders.

According to Jonathan Wright, M.D., co-author of Maximize Your Vitality & Potency, the following effects have been reported in response to low free testosterone levels:

• Loss of ability to concentrate
• Moodiness and emotionality
• Touchiness and irritability
• Great timidity
• Feeling weak
• Inner unrest
• Memory failure
• Reduced intellectual agility
• Passive attitudes
• General tiredness
• Reduced interest in surroundings

Two major issues of a man in midlife crisis - depression and anxiety - are directly related to his current levels of bio-available free testosterone. Proper testosterone replacement therapy can deal effectively with much at the heart of midlife male depression by boosting the levels of bio-available testosterone in the body.

Is Testosterone Replacement Therapy Right for Me?

The first step toward testosterone replacement therapy is a physical exam and a series of blood tests, including a PSA (protein-specific antigen) test, are ordered to measure testosterone levels. If testosterone levels are low, your physician can discuss the various treatment options. Many insurance companies cover the costs of andropause treatment, and male menopause treatment can often be purchased with a tax advantaged, flexible savings account.

Male hormone replacement therapy and testosterone replacement are effective, low testosterone treatment options for men with andropause. If you have any symptoms associated with andropause, such as low energy, irritability, hot flashes, abdominal weight gain, loss of muscle strength, loss of sex drive and the inability to maintain an erection, talk to your doctor. The sooner you speak with a physician and get checked for low testosterone levels, the sooner you can begin feeling like yourself again.

What to look for in a Male Hormone Replacement Therapy Provider:

1. Look for a male hormone replacement therapy program that is tailored to your specific and individualized needs.
2. Ensure your hormone program is under the supervision of a physician that is trained in hormone deficiencies in men.
3. Monitoring of your hormone levels. The original test for andropause should only be the first in a series of tests. You will want to have your blood tested periodically to ensure the current program is optimized for your individual needs.
4. Experience. Be sure the entity with whom you work has a solid track record. If they are trying to sell you hormones -- be careful. If they are telling you what they do and how it relates to you needs in an informational frame work -- be hopeful and encouraged.

Jim Michels is an expert on how to treat low testosterone and andropause symptoms. His company renewman.com focuses on male menopause and andropause and specializes in treating male menopause symptoms through male hormone replacement therapy, testosterone replacement and low testosterone treatment

Monday

She's Mature for 21...

"She's mature for 21..." That's what they all say, but in all actuality there are many differences that are not so "mature." Here are a few to keep your eyes wide open when you are dating someone 25 years and less.

1. The first argument.

You know you are dealing with an immature woman when she can't explain herself without crying, fighting and or threatening to hurt you in some way.

2. Money.

You always have to foot the bill whenever you go out while she is always saying, "I need..." She still has alot of growing up to do in the financial department, so if you aren't willing to carry or teach her then leave her alone.

3. Health ailments.

Whether you or she is having issues mentally and/or physically, remember she is young and has a lot of life that has yet to be untapped she may grow weary of caring for you (unless of course there are benefits.) On the other hand, you may not have a lot of life to care for someone if she is the ill one. So choose what you are willing to put up with before things get too deep between the two of you and then you or she wants to bail out when things turn for the worse.

4. Children.

She may not have any and you may have a few. What's the likelihood she will want children someday? Think: when you were in your early twenties you said many things you didn't want, but ended up having everything you didn't want. If you know for certain no more children for you, then protect yourself and don't trust that she will always remember to take her pill.

5. Exs.

Does she act different toward you when you have to pick up your children from their mother's home? Does she seem like she is annoyed when you talk about exs? Do you still remain friends with exs even though she has asked you not to? These are all real issues that cause long-term problems if you don't handle them from the start of the relationship. Be open about your relationship or lack thereof with exs when dealing with a younger woman.

6. Common sense.

Common sense unfortunately isn't too common even among the best of us, so with that said, never assume a younger woman who doesn't have as much experience in emotional/physical relationships as you will understand your needs and how to treat you.

7. Street smarts.

It is very easy to take advantage of a niave young woman who has been sheltered most of her life. If you consider yourself a "good man" do her and her family a favor, don't play games! You don't want to shake hands with her father knowing full well you aren't interested in being committed to his beloved daughter. You don't want to win mom over if you know you are having trouble shaking off the exs, balancing a checkbook, or keeping your apartment tidy. Meet the parents when you know you have your self together! One thing parents can see a mile away is a man who is street smart and they will advise their daughter against dating "the old player" especially if dad, uncles, and other men in the family have and are still playing around themselves.

In closing, remember don't play and you won't get played. These young women nowadays don't really need a man like previous generations; however, there are always those who will pretend like they do.

Nicholl McGuire

Thursday

The Unavailable Man

“What goes around comes around,” so the old saying goes. During my twenties, single and childless days in the 90s, I was approached by many family men. They thought they had it going on with their young wardrobe and lingo. They wanted to show me, who at the time was a hip woman back in the day, what they knew about my generation. I wasn’t necessarily turned on by the gray hair, the age mark here and there, and what I would call the “old man” odor, but I was turned on by their success. I wanted to learn a thing or two from these men, but I definitely didn’t want to be responsible for breaking up anyone’s happy home. These married men were slick back then and so I hear, the game hasn’t changed much. Taking off their rings, silencing their pagers and offering to take me to places far away from the city these were just a few things I experienced with older married men, I was still young so I had yet to learn the game.

When I did catch on, I used the knowledge I had learned and put one married man to the test. This slickster used his sister to call me, because he was busy with his wife. I didn’t know he was married until that phone call. I told her about herself and him and warned her to tell him never to call me again. Had I pursued a relationship with this attractive guy who had a great salary to go along with him, I would have been considered a home-wrecker. One battle was won, but there were more tests that I would face as I got older. I admit I had my share of wins, but I also had some situations that were too close for comfort and as I said earlier, “What goes around comes around.” Later, I would be cheated on by someone I once loved.

Flirting is harmful. Talking to a married man on the phone periodically about things non-related to business is not okay. Sitting down in a restaurant after work hours discussing everything but business is playing with fire. I honestly believe that some single women need to associate their struggles with relationships now with what they did in their heyday. Think: Did you go out with married men? Did you have an intimate relationship with these men? Back then you may have thought that your youth will stay with you, now some of you reading this are older and don’t feel or look as attractive, but are still attracting older men. Some have become a little absent-minded about the past and never talked to God about it or asked for his forgiveness. I know some people don’t believe in curses, but I think some of us have put curses on our own lives by what we say and do.

We may tell someone how we are such a great person and we could never do wrong, but behind closed doors we are calling ourselves an idiot and saying why we will never have a good relationship or never have children. Reverse the curse, my sister! You could be blessed if you were willing to say and do the deeds that would make you feel good about yourself, rather than do things that hurt you and others. Is it really that important to you to keep an unavailable man in your life? Do you really think that what he promises you will be achieved? Will you be content with what you have to do to keep his gifts coming? Nothing in life comes for free there is always a give and take relationship somewhere. What are you willing to risk to get what you want?

I know of women as I type who have sold their souls to the devil. They will do just about anything to get ahead. They love the fact that they don’t have children because it’s just one less obstacle they have to jump over to achieve fame and fortune. While they are fighting for a place, position, and/or power, they are teaching young girls to do exactly the same things they are doing to get ahead. Their actions say, “Sleep with the boss. Shake your behind and the money will come. Tell this man everything he wants to hear. Keep your mouth shut with this one and you will have favor with him even if he is wrong. Go with this man and he will take care of you. Smile this way, dress that way, talk this way…Change your hair color, straighten your curly hair…” You name it, whatever the magazine, television, agent, doctor, even their mother says to make them look and feel sexy and desired by the public, they will do it all the while getting hurt in the end. At some point someone is going to see Jezebel’s (an evil woman in the Christian Bible) flaws and expose them to the world and there she is at home sitting on the floor crying, depressed, wondering why her life has become such a mess. When you keep feeding the world garbage they are going to want more and more and more until you are spent! Eventually they will be taking the garbage out and dumping it into a grave until they can find "the next best…" You fill in the blank.

I have witnessed unavailable men seek after available women like pimps looking for hoes, because it’s an ego boost for them. They can spot a desperate woman a mile away and they work out their plan before she even looks their way. He knows that if he says all the right things and she behaves herself, he can have his way with her. But when she doesn’t, depending on how rich and powerful he is, he may drop her, take what he gave her back (or in some cases he may get a gift or two like a disease) or worse attempt to kill her. A woman who acts like trash gets treated like trash. If the woman is a mother, she may be spared the games, because she has innocent children that don't need to be caught up in drama, but a child-free slut doesn’t stand a chance. She can’t excuse her disgraceful actions with, “I did it for my kids.” What kids? “I did it because of love.” What relationship? “I did it because I wanted to get ahead.” Really, then the public will label you as a hoe or a selfish b*tch, take your pick. Meanwhile thinking, "What else will this slut do for the mighty dollar?" There she is the single, relationship and child-free woman being escorted to someone’s basement, office, car, garage, woods, ready to be sacrificed like an animal. If she does what she is told, she gets what she is asking for, but most likely her master, I mean old man, is going to tell his friends about her. If she doesn’t do what they ask of her then she will be hurt emotionally and/or physically. But if she is a good little hoe, she just might get some more bills paid.

Nicholl McGuire, author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate.

Monday

What to Do When a Man is Withdrawn & Emotionally Cold! This is Ultra Important For You

Many men are emotionally unavailable. They have a lot of excuses just to get away from creating any emotional intimacy with a woman. This is really sad especially if his partner feels the other way around. So here are some things women can do if his partner is emotionally unavailable.

First is to check your own behavior. Maybe you are just too busy concentrating on all his negative attributes that you missed out your own actions. Maybe, it was you who has the real problem and he is just acting out to make you realize it.

Next is to give him space. Maybe he can no longer breathe because you are already suffocating him with your presence. Give him some time to go out and have fun with his friends. Do not call or send him any messages when he is out enjoying a day without you.

Third, do not try to control him. Men hate it when their girl is too possessive or bossy. Let him have a voice in your relationship.

Fourth, do not try to change him because it can only make matters worse. Instead try to act like you support him, but gradually instill to him what needs to be changed. They hate it when women tell their flaws, let them change on his own.

Fifth is to let them see how good it feels when someone is emotionally available. Never think of revenge and make him feel what he has done to you. Instead show him how to be emotionally stable, let him see the good in it.

Sixth, is to expose him to couples or people who have a very strong bond to each other. Let him see how happy they are just by being in love and emotionally available. This will make him think about it and sooner or later apply it on your relationship.

Lastly, do not give up on him too easily. Give him a chance, maybe in time he will see the beauty of a serious relationship and would be ready to try it out. Maybe time is all he needs to finally take your relationship to the next level. Patience is a virtue, and sometimes a better life awaits those who are patient enough.

When a man is emotionally unavailable it is best to find out what made him act like that. This way you will understand him better and would know how to deal with him.

By Russell Jackson

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The Power of the Engagement Ring

A young woman who doesn't have much experience dating older men will be easily taken for a ride by a conniving older man. If sex is all he wants then he will do what it takes to get it. Nowadays it doesn't take much since so many desperate women are in need of company and cash and will do almost anything to get it! However, what if the older man falls in love with the younger woman, he will want to take the relationship to the next level and a promise of marriage just might do it! Just like young men who are riding on "the break up to make up roller coaster" seeking a way to buy more time, the older man with a plan is no exception! He realizes the older he gets the more challenging it can become to get a younger woman of his dreams. He may have messed up with a younger woman already and knows that he is at risk of losing her forever, that is until he sets his eyes on an engagement ring.

Some men use jewelry like a mother using a pacifier to quiet a baby. "One look at that diamond," he thinks "and she will stick around a little while longer." Maybe she will or maybe she won't. These days there are many women buying their own jewelry without a man, so he will have to bring more than just a ring, watch, bracelet, necklace or a pair of earrings to the relationship. Yet, some older men will still try anyway to keep their younger women by their side with gifts. The engagement ring is the most powerful of them all, because it tells a woman one thing, he is committed -- ready to marry! Some men will try to lessen the weight of its significance by calling it a "promise ring" or saying, "we don't have to rush about getting married..." when he says these kinds of things after giving it to his younger woman then she should immediately think, "He's not serious. He just wants to keep me around." A man who is sold out on a woman whether young, old, rich or poor won't drag anything out -- he will even suggest a date of marriage! A seriously committed man will do everything he can to make himself and his loved one very happy!

Men who are still boys will play games. They will say things they don't really mean. Make excuses as to why they aren't ready for commitment. Make no sacrifices for anyone no matter how much loved ones cry, complain, or moan about him "never being around, more focused on his career, always messing with different women, hanging out with friends" etc. Men who are ready for a real commitment won't debate about things like exs since they are a thing of the past, why pornography offends her, why she feels like she can't trust him, or why she believes that the engagement ring is just another one of his tricks. True men also known as good men don't have these kinds of dramas in their relationships, but boys do!

Well with all this said, hope you will think wisely before getting or receiving an engagement ring.

Nicholl McGuire is the creator of this blog and tweets periodically on http://twitter.com/datingdramas

Wednesday

The Older Men Who Rather Keep Their Secrets in The Dark About Dating a Younger Woman

Being online I have come across my share of older men who don't like my revealing the player strategies that some will use, the weaknesses that they attempt to try to cover up, or the lies that some tell younger women just so they can get sex, have a companion that would be willing to care for them, and other reasons they don't want to share.

Everyone has a motive as to why they want to be with someone. Some have lists while others just go with the flow. But whatever the reason, an older man feels compelled to have a younger woman, it should be honest and true. If you want a trophy piece its better to say so, then for her to find out that you aren't interested in a committed relationship the hard way. If you seek a younger woman, because you desire to be a father, she should know that, some women simply don't want children not now or anytime in their lives. The more open young, old, rich or poor couples are with one another, the better the relationship!

Now let's just say an older man chooses to date a younger woman but doesn't feel too confident about the way he looks, he just might consider getting this: Click Here!

Nicholl McGuire is the creator of this blog and enjoys providing tips to young women about what to expect when dating an older man.

Tuesday

Younger Women Dating Older Men

It is a known fact that women, in general, are attracted to older men and will date men that are a few years older than themselves. If a woman is thirty, she'll probably date a man in his forties and so on. So what is it that draws women to these older guys?

Most women will admit that they want a strong man who can stand his own ground and be confident; and generally speaking, many women appreciate the maturity of an older man. It's no secret that the qualities that women are looking for in their future husbands are the same qualities that men slightly older than them display. Most women assume that older men are well trained at being a gentleman, are more civilized and more capable of providing for and supporting whoever they are with. They also feel older men have probably been married or at least have gone through a lot of different relationships, have learned how to treat a woman and how to give her what she wants and/or needs.

When it comes to dating younger men, many women feel that these guys still have a sense of immaturity about them and that they don't know what it means to really treat a woman. It's a well-known fact that women mature faster than men, and if a woman wants to date an older guy, it's probably because she's had her fill of the 23-year-old party animal who still believes he's invincible and can't even remember her name. Mature, younger women, who are no longer interested in dealing with the games and attitudes of younger guys appreciate an older man's life experiences and the fact that they're over many of the games they may have played in their younger years. Also, if a younger woman is ready to start a family, she feels older men might settle down sooner.

In the discussion of older men younger women dating, there are some women who will argue that older men only ask them out because they take longer to grow up and mature or only want a trophy girlfriend on their arm to boost their ego. Another argument to dating younger women is that older men miss out on meeting a mature, wise and appreciative woman their own age. While this may be true in some cases, in reality, most older men who date younger women do so because they feel that women younger than them have more energy, spontaneity and less dating baggage. They simply want to feel rejuvenated and youthful again and make their sex life more adventurous.

The real disadvantages to this type of relationship for an older man dating a younger woman is that there may be a difference in the energy levels between the two of them. The age difference can cause a big difference in interests such as music, social activities and morals. If an older man doesn't keep up with the younger woman or perhaps loses his financial stability and/or health, a gold digger might lose interest in him and leave him rather quickly.

Ultimately, older men dating younger women must be able to deal with the attitudes of others who stare, those who comment about the age difference, the negative attitudes of those who just disapprove, and the many other challenges they may be faced with. Older men younger women dating can be wonderful as long as both of you know what you are looking for and where you want to go with it before you get too involved.

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Tips Dating Older Men, Young Women Blog Topics

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