Showing posts with label andropause. Show all posts
Showing posts with label andropause. Show all posts

Sunday

The Temperamental Older Man Who Thinks He is Okay

His hair is thinning, belly protruding, and he isn’t excited about life. He is often irritated with others. Whether they are too talkative, noisy, happy, or active, he looks at people, even member of his own household, with a dismal expression before exploding about what someone said or did. What is it about the temperamental older man that makes older women stay away and young women want to run?

Those who love him and have taken a bit of time to do some research on his age group usually find out that his bodily changes are associated with his anger outbursts, sudden tearful moments, impatience, and other odd behaviors. Although one presents the sensitive man with proven scientific evidence about his change of life, whether he is in 40s, 50s, 0r 60s, he resents the researchers, curses loved ones and goes about his life taking risks.

Young women are warned about dating men with testosterone issues, also known as low-T, but typical of young women, they don’t heed wise counsel. They go ahead and date, have sex, produce babies, get married, and do other things that might put their safety and overall well-being at risk. If a young woman knows that she doesn‘t have the patience, time or knowledge to deal with a moody older man, it is best to stay or run away before she catches his wrath.

The longer a young woman dates and older man, her eyes begin to widen and then she starts to see what her mature relatives and friends had been warning. Unfortunately, some young women see the truth too late and are abused physically, mentally, or even spiritually. The troubled older man who attends church regularly or has a background in religion will use the Bible as a means of control. The abuser will use verbal abuse and silent treatment to get her to follow his rules. Then there is the often angry older man who threatens or strikes his victims (men/women/children/pets) whenever things don’t go his way or he doesn’t like the way someone is treating him.

Rather than get necessary help that could possibly bring his hormones in balance, the mentally disturbed man, who once demonstrated self-control in many areas of his life, plays the blame game. “It’s the job…the annoying kids…my crazy wife…my car…this money-sucking house…” Sure. How about it’s him--a man that has reached a place in his life where everything rattles his nerves. In his youth, he had challenges and got over them without saying much. He watched movies and rarely, if ever, shedded a tear. He ran, lifted heavy objects, jumped, climbed, danced, played athletic sports, and did many things without needing to sit down for long periods of time. He was able to have sex without worrying over whether a certain part of his anatomy would stay firm. He worked from sun up to sun down and ran all over time to this event and that one. Those were the good old days, but the mature gentleman’s present days could get better if he would face his reality and build his life in such a way that can accommodate the different human being that he has become. From less work hours to a daily regimen of eating right, taking necessary medicine and supplements, and scheduling time for other activities, besides watching TV or sitting in front of a computer screen, just might uplift his spirits.

Some men will allow their moods to dominate even their intimate lives, fun times with their family, and travel. They will say, “I’m not up to it. I rather not. Could we do that another time?” He exchanges good times for a room, chair and an electronic device. For some men, that is the best place for them, because if they refuse to acknowledge that they are not good people to be around, they are better left alone. For loved ones who have a person like this around them, get on with your life! Create distance if he seems to be increasingly angry over what most people wouldn’t overreact to if you feel your mental stability and safety is at risk. You will know that trouble is on the horizon when you experience the following around the moody older man: nervousness, irritability, rage, vengeful thoughts, unexplained tension, constant stomach upset, or headaches. Separate yourself from him and contact this person less. If you live with him, doesn’t matter what you have or don’t have with this person, pack your bags and leave before he hurts you or you retaliate with hurtful words and physical violence. For those spiritual, your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit so you know you don’t have to put up with abuse and don’t let those religious types tell you otherwise.

A temperamental older man is not going to change without proper treatment, he is only going to get worse! No amount of exercise or quiet meditation is going to solve an ongoing problem if he doesn’t want to get tested, listen to doctor’s advice and make necessary changes that you may have suggested as well. Stubborn men, who don’t watch all aspects of their diets including cutting out sugary drinks, maintaining reasonable portion sizes, and doing other things to better their health, rarely change. Years will go by and they will say, “I am going to do this…and I am going to do that…” They unfortunately don’t attempt to make significant changes until something major happens with their bodies, relationships, or income.

Tuesday

The Irritable Male Syndrome, Why Midlife Men Turn Mean

I couldn't help but share the following links, because in my experience being around older men, I have found that at a certain point in their lives usually 40 plus, many become easily irritated and downright mean.  Some simply can't help themselves, while others know how they are behaving, but  don't care or quickly find excuses for their short responses and anger outbursts.

There is nothing nice or sweet about a middle-aged man who is often mean-spirited at home, but totally different at his workplace.  However, in time, the two worlds will collide and unfortunately there will be no winners in the end.  The tempermental often forgetful man may lose his job, family, friends, and more as a result of his fluctuating hormones due to things like:  a lack of exercise, poor eating habits, and an avoidance of vitamins, herbal remedies, or prescription medicines for his conditions. 

If you are an older man who is suffering with forgetfulness, moodiness, erectile dysfunction, hot flashes, and more, get some help.  If you are with someone like this, make up in your mind whether you are going to direct him to some assistance and support him through these challenging times or leave.  But whatever you do, don't Labor to Love an Abusive Mate!  Click on the links.

The Irritable Male Syndrome, Why Midlife Men Turn Mean

Wednesday

Younger Women: When an Older Man Denies He is Having a Mid-Life Crisis | BeyondJane

Younger Women: When an Older Man Denies He is Having a Mid-Life Crisis | BeyondJane

Moody, Irritable, Argumentative and 50 Plus? Cramping, Bloating and 18 Plus?

In the past, this blog has provided information on Andropause.  This is a health condition that affects males which is caused by a deficiency in testosterone.  Now as much as our society likes to deceive us into thinking we are all younger than we think, the truth be told is that we are all getting older.  As we mature, things like our memory, mood, and body are affected.  We don't remember things as good as we use to.  We become more easily agitated by little things.  Our body weight increases and it becomes more challenging to lose weight especially in one's mid-section.

I am referring mature males who happened to come across this site to the following link below as well as young women who may not understand Andropause.  Hopefully, couples will become more knowledgeable and understanding of this condition.

When searching health websites related to personal issues, I would like readers to check out additional subject matter related to women that might be causing some issues in your relationship as well.  Look up PMS, PMDD and Perimenopause at the site.  Any woman who has a menstrual cycle will be affected.  Mood swings, anger problems, bloating, cramping, lack of sexual drive, etc. are all issues that affect young women too. Some women don't suffer much during their premenstrual cycle while others are affected a great deal.  This condition can also impact your relationship especially if you aren't aware of the symptoms.

So do check out these health conditions it might be a serious wake up call for some of you as to why your past relationships didn't work out.

Nicholl McGuire

Tuesday

The Unpredictable Middle-Aged Man

His wife of 14 years never seen it coming. His co-workers were surprised when they heard about it. The sales clerk at his local neighborhood store would have never thought he was the type. They described him as "irresponsible, a jerk, strange..." Even worse, "crazy!" They described him as everything but "A middle-aged man having a crisis."

The once well-liked and respected man in crisis had given his job a two weeks notice, moved out the family home located in a well-kept rural neighborhood in his sports car, and said, "Goodbye" to long time friends all within a week!

The tall, still very handsome man in his forties, had found a bachelor pad in the city and a state-of-the-art gym as well. Within months he found something else too! A beautiful young woman in her twenties. The two were like teenagers kissing and holding hands often. He was so immersed with this woman that he barely noticed the divorce papers that showed up in the mail from his ex. He was in love under new management and he didn't care about the past he left behind at least for a time.

His children, a teen boy and girl, didn't know what to think of him, they asked mom about dad but continued through school participating in activities and performing above average in their studies. Sometimes a negative report from a teacher would follow them home for disrupting the class but that was about it -- the children were just taking one day at a time.

One day the former all-star college athlete was in deep thought reflecting on his life. He had felt guilty at times about what he had done. He had asked God for a since of direction, because he felt that he was a little out of control after coming home drunk with his young girlfriend four weekends straight. He remembered this life back in his twenties and he didn't like it much back then and he wasn't liking it much now. The partying and drinking had to stop!

Meanwhile his youthful mate wasn't ready to settle down like stay at home and watch TV every weekend, but she was willing to quit drinking and maybe cut down on her club activities. He discussed some of his thoughts with her, the ones he felt she could handle, but of course not all of them because he didn't completely trust a mate who was almost 20 years his junior with his emotions.

As the young woman learned more about this man, who she had yet to see as an "older man," she realized he wasn't necessarily a trustworthy character these days. "I mean he left his wife of 14 years for God sake!" She told herself, "What if he leaves me!?" So she told herself she had better do something and fast. One day she asked if they could talk in her most grown-up expression, you see she didn't have experience in these sorts of matters. "I just want to say I think we have a great relationship, but you know the other day when you were talking about moving in together, well I don't think that would be a good idea." He wondered why and she made up some excuse about how she didn't want to "cramp his style." She too, didn't think he could handle some of her thoughts either, since he was older and may have forgotten about the things that young people considered important like friends, travel, relocation, entertainment, etc. She wasn't looking for a father figure who would police her lifestyle, she was looking for a friend with benefits including emotional security.

She wanted to know he wouldn't just up and leave her like he did his former wife and children and so far he hadn't convinced her of that especially since he was dyeing his hair almost every two weeks, looking for yet another sports car, and complaining alot about his new job that paid him considerably less than the last one but he liked it because "it was fun!" To the smart young woman, he had signs of a ticking time bomb ready to explode again.

In time the two went their separate ways after their first child was born. That's right in between all the kissing and hugging the young woman was unwed and pregnant with her older man's baby. He promised to take care of her and briefly they did live together, but she had been a fool so she thought. She had quit her job to take care of the baby and so when they broke up she had nothing. One of his unpredictable mood swings sent her packing after an intense argument one day over all things, baby diapers! He had grew weary of buying them and felt she should leave the diaper on the baby longer. She didn't want to do it because of the terrible rash their son got once before. He complained about not having enough money for retirement. She complained about him not sharing money to care for his new family. Meanwhile, the old family was calling him every week, not for small talk, but money as well.

The unpredictable middle-aged man had made a mess of things due to those unresolved hidden emotions and desires buried deep within. He had watched far too many television shows that glorified his youth. He had listened to way too many of his old high school songs. He had immersed his walls with an overwhelming amount of photographs of the "has-been." It was time for a doctor's visit, a church visit, and a place of solitude to pen a plan that would suffice for the remaining part of his life if he so dared.

Nicholl McGuire, wrote this fictional story to help all parties understand the significant impact a male in mid-life can play on everyone he knows both good and bad.
Follow Nicholl on Twitter @nichollmcguire

Monday

They Have Their Days Too...Andropause & PMS...Uh oh!

While you are having your bouts with PMS, he is having his issues with andropause. In case you didn't know, that is the proper name for mid-life crisis. Now some so-called experts won't take the male mid-life business seriously, rather they will attribute men's issues to outside influences like work, family, and money. But if you have dated older men for any length of time, then you know there is more going on within than on the outside.

The older man will have various mood swings due to a number of factors such as low testosterone, bad eating habits, and a lack of exercise. Some get older and aren't always mindful of their body odors. Whatever the older man's problem, the reality is he can get on your nerves! His impatience, anger outbursts, silent treatment, and myopic behaviors can send you packing! Understanding tends to go out the younger woman's head when she too is going through her set of woes.

We all know what to do with his and her bath towels, but many of us don't have a clue what to do with his and her mood swings. Here are a few tips I have had to learn the hard way over the years.

1. Do something else besides have sex. If you are in a relationship with an older man that seems to be moving fast, so fast that you can't seem to come up for air between love-making sessions, put some distance between the both of you by doing something else that has absolutely nothing to do with him. I'm sure he can understand why you wouldn't want intimacy while going through PMS and your cycle. If not, then you will want to question what kind of man you got yourself hooked up with. (When I dated an older man who was abusive, he found it difficult giving me my space during my time of the month. That was a good sign he was not a compassionate person, but I was too awe struck on looks and stability to see the signs.)

2. You don't have to commit because he told you that he loves you. From the ex-wife to the children from a previous relationship, I'm sure you are the next best thing since sliced bread and because of that you can afford to take your time.

When committing to any man with a past that is walking and breathing, it can be difficult to accept everything that goes with it. If you sincerely feel that accepting him along with his baggage is too much, do converse with him about your feelings before you decide to break off the relationship and not during PMS.

3. When he is in one of his moods ask, "Is there anything I can do for you?" but don't ask when you are in a bad mood yourself, because it will most likely come out like this, "What's wrong with you? Why aren't you talking to me...Are you having one of your senior moments?" Although asking him what's on his mind doesn't always work, at least take the time out to let him know you care. He may not be ready to talk, but at some point he just might open up. When he does decide to share his thoughts, try hard to make him feel comfortable expressing them without becoming emotional. I know it can be difficult especially if he is being critical of you, but try anyway even if it means you just sit there and look at him.

Well, I hope the two of you have a good month...wish me well too!


Nicholl McGuire
http://associatedcontent.com/nichollmcguire

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