Showing posts with label advice for young women seeking older men. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advice for young women seeking older men. Show all posts

Wednesday

7 Habits Men Find Disgusting

Should You Date an Older Man or Woman?

Someone who is 10, 15, 20 or even 30 years older than you has expressed romantic interest.  However, lately you have had some mixed feelings about dating them, how do you deal with your doubts and be at peace with your decision to date, stay in the relationship or end it?

Meet Nadine, she was 21 when she met Dalton 31.  He seemed to have his life very much together as compared to some of the guys she met her own age.  However, Nadine and Dalton came from different worlds.  When Dalton was a child, men were very domineering over women and when Nadine was a child every woman she ever knew was independent.  Their worlds began to collide.  Dalton expected Nadine to listen to him and follow his instructions about cooking and keeping the house clean, take his suggestions on how to dress in front of men and most of all how to communicate with him without using slang and curse words.  Dalton mentioned to her one day he thought she was rather young and they didn’t have many common interests, but there was nothing more said about his statement.  He avoided bringing the age difference issue up to her again, because he definitely didn’t want to break up with her at least not right then.  On the other hand, Nadine wasn’t sure she could continue to look at Dalton’s receding hairline much longer while he gave her his suggestions about how she should act.  She also grew weary of sitting at home watching Dalton’s selection of classic movies on weekends.  Both of them continued to see one another despite their differences; however, they were considering on breaking up with one another secretly.

Although Nadine’s complaints seem trivial, she is use to doing things with people mainly her own age and she socializes with very youthful and attractive people (who haven’t lost their hair at least not yet.)  On the other hand, Dalton works around many people his own age and doesn’t see anything wrong with “teaching” Nadine.  Despite their conflict over age differences, they get along at times, but they are silently grappling with the issue.

Before you decide to date, propose, marry or break up with someone much older or younger than you, be sure to write down all of your concerns.  Don’t just think about how you feel about him or her presently, but how you may feel about them in the future.  What is important to you about another person’s personality and physical attributes may not be so important to everyone else.  The decision you reach should be one you are comfortable with not one someone else tries to convince you to make.  Some people may tell you how great it is to date someone older for wisdom, wealth, growth and other reasons that seem logical.  However, you may have a problem with the way he or she looks, talks to you or treats you out in public.  Others may tell you how wonderful it is to date a younger person, because they don’t have as much baggage, they are exciting and youthful, yet you may find their conversations are annoying or discover they are completely the opposite of what you expected.  Avoid going into a relationship or continuing one with heavy doubts.  If there is a small voice telling you he or she is not the one, listen to it.  No matter how reasonable or logical someone’s advice may sound, go with what gives you peace of mind.

Being with someone who is older or younger is very similar to dating someone inter-racially.   People will stare and comment.  Your own family may be critical and tell you what they think of your mate.  You will have to be prepared to stand strong in the face of opposition if you really want your relationship to work.  Some ex-spouses will attempt to make life difficult for you (and use the children if you have any.)  They may be jealous, angry or even still in love with you depending on how you broke up with them.  Know how to handle them, so that your new mate will not feel insecure or want to leave you.

Questions you may have not thought about are as follows.  Consider asking yourself the following and acting on your response.  It is best to know what you want and how you feel about the relationship before you fall too deeply in love. 

Before You First Met

How would you describe your life before meeting this older or younger person?  This question is important to answer.  For instance, some people who are in their 40s could have recently came out of a relationship with someone who was about the same age and found he or she to be rather boring, tired, miserable, or depressed.  As we know the older you get the more likely hormonal changes occur, unexpected aches and pains and other body challenges.   Sometimes hormones will motivate desires to have every facet of one’s life be changed such as ending a long term marriage, selecting a younger more exciting mate, quitting his or her job and traveling, buying a sports car that one cannot afford, exercising obsessively, dressing younger or taking a deep interest in having a baby or caring for babies. Some people later regret their decisions because they realize a visit to the doctor’s office and a prescription could have kept them from making life- altering changes.  Maybe the problem wasn’t with their previous mate; instead, he or she may have had mental issues.

Another thought you may want to consider, if you are younger, is how was your relationship with your mother and father growing up?  Do you find there is a pattern in selecting mates older than you?  There are young women who are very much in need of a father figure and will confuse that need with their desire to date an older man.  If she had no male influence growing up or her own dad didn’t seem interested in relating to her, she may look for qualities in an older man to compensate for what she lacked in childhood.  An older man who may be aware of this behavior may want to consider what role he will want to play in her life:  good friend, lover, god father, acquaintance or all of the above. 

Some older men have desires to have someone care for them particularly if they never had a daughter. There may be a reason why for some of you, you are consistently seeking younger women.  Think about your past relationships, did you find yourself tempted to teach, correct and instruct your younger mate?  Do you find you can control a younger woman or “get away” with certain things you couldn’t with a woman your own age?

When You First Met

This younger or older mate definitely had something about them that drew you to them, what was it?   If you find there is nothing more than physical qualities, sex and/or money, then you can be sure the relationship will be challenged.  There has to be more than these attributes to make you want to be with him or her.  What is it you like or dislike about he or she?  What is it that your mate likes or dislikes about you?  Will you be able to deal with these differences long term?

Physical Characteristics

As we all know beauty comes and goes, will you still find him or her attractive in the short and long term?  What happens when he or she is ill, pregnant or disabled and not looking his or her best?  Have you centered the relationship on appearance and showing him or her off to the public for attention?  A man or woman with a fifty-year-old body doesn’t look like a man or woman with a twenty or thirty-something year old body?  Will you be able to handle a body aging?  If you are older, are you confident enough in the way you look that you won’t give your younger mate a hard time when you see them around people many years younger than you?  If you are younger, what are your feelings about gray hair, balding, protruding bellies and varicose veins? 

Personality

There will be those moments when you may say something that will reveal your true age.  It may be a story about how you grew up, what kind of music you like, how old your parents are or something reminding your mate how old or young you are.  How do you feel when you have conversations with your mate and how does he or she make you feel?  Do you find him or her uninteresting?  Do you feel more comfortable around people who are your own age?  How do you think your feelings will affect your relationship in the future?  As discussed earlier, hormonal changes will also come to challenge the relationship.  For men, will you be able to handle a future pregnant woman’s mood swings, menopause, or PMS?   As for women will you be able to deal with male mental and physical issues?

Finances

When either a younger or older mate has wealth, he or she may be very generous or protective of it.  They may not know what your motives are for being with them.  How will you respond to their concerns?  Do you have your own personal wealth you can be proud of?   Will your mate object if you work, don’t work, own your own business or go back to school?  Do you expect your mate to assist you?  Have you discussed how much you make, what kind of bills you pay and how much they are and if you can afford to help one another?  Can you both afford to travel, eat out at restaurants and enjoy other forms of entertainment?  All of these questions are important because our interests are a big part of our lives, if you want to do things together, you don’t want money to be an issue later in the relationship. 

Relatives

Your family will also reveal how old you are as well.  Her sister maybe twenty years old and yours may be forty years old.  Your mate may not have too much in common with her potential sister-in-laws and vice versa.  Don’t anticipate the family will love your mate, because they may not.  Instead, they will question, “What does this younger woman want with my son?  Why is this old man going out with my daughter?”  They will discuss motives among each other and eventually talk with you as to what they suspect is your mate’s reasons for being with you.  Don’t fall into the temptation to believe what you hear unless there is proof from your mate that tells you otherwise.

Children

If you had children or are thinking about not having any, then your younger mate needs to know this.  Don’t cover up how you really feel by saying, “Oh maybe one day.”  The truth will later reveal itself and when it does it won’t help your relationship.  If you are serious about not wanting children, state the truth.  If you have children from a previous relationship, tell your mate.  There are consequences whether you tell or don’t tell.  Avoid hurting your mate anymore than you have to by being honest and allow them the opportunity to make a choice whether to continue a relationship with you.  If you would like to have children one day, be sure your mate knows, but don’t try to convince him or her she will be a good father or mother, let them think about your plans and reach a decision on their own.  

Death

This should concern anyone in any kind of relationship.  The day will come where we will all die.  Think of the person you are with and include them on your insurance policy.  You don’t need to tell them what you have done.  However, if they choose to be with you for the rest of their lives and you are many years older, you know the days will come when they will most likely have to care for you.  Don’t leave your mate or children with any financial burdens.  Plan how your wealth will be handled once you are gone.


Although the information in this article is very detailed for a relationship that may not have started yet or is just beginning, it has provided you with a glimpse of what you will have to consider in the future.  Re-read it.  Make your decision to date someone older or younger wisely, not out of lust, selfish gain, curiosity or some other trivial reason.

Nicholl McGuire shares insightful wisdom around the web, check out "Messages for the Soul" on YourListen.com

Tuesday

Young Women: The Older He is, The Closer to His Grave

Man Holding Pocket Watch in Grayscale

Live life to the fullest, but keep in mind, he just might not be around as long as he thinks.
Besides, do you have a cap on how old is too old for you?--lol

Dating Advice: Should You Pursue The Guy



Check out a book about abusive men by author Nicholl McGuire.  Know the signs before pursuing any man!

Dating an Older Guy, Young Woman

Dating older is not a bad thing, but it can be if you are breaking the law.  A mature man dating a young woman can be an enriching experience, but not when she has a child's mindset or worse a body that is not fully developed (and if so she is a child and not a woman).

As I write, I think of so many young girls who desire to be with older men, but they don't realize that there is far more they have to do besides look pretty and spend their money.  Mature men want quality companions who eventually might help with chores, possibly procreate with them, and emotionally and financially assist.  This is a lot to ask from someone who has barely left home and still very much relying on parents and/or grandparents to bail them out of situations.

So I guess what I most want to say is think before you target someone who has yet to get his or her life in order--the way he or she desires.  A man who is fresh out of a relationship, has children from previous relationships and busy with work needs time for himself contrary to what he might tell the young lady.  A woman who is still in school, dependent on family, and doesn't have much to offer will sooner or later resent connecting with an older man who can't do much for her but buy a few gifts when he feels like it and provide periodic sex.

Dating older or younger is a great thing when two people have their personal and professional lives in order.  But if not, it can be such a hardship.

Nicholl McGuire knows all-too-well check out her many books on relationships.

Sunday

Dating Older Men - When He Thinks You Are Younger

He didn't think that you were in your thirties or was it your forties?  The mature gentleman, who absolutely loves young women, assumed you were in your 20s.  What a disappointment for this guy with such a strict preference?  You see, for some men, they will handle older women a bit different than they do younger ones--they won't.  They strongly believe that older women have much emotional baggage and they don't want to help in the least bit way with any of it.  If you play, young and dumb, you will see some of these older guys' games right before your eyes.  There are usually more young women where you came from and they spend time finding out which ones are going to meet their needs, pronto!

*                                                                                 *                                                                      *

I started graying in my 20s and felt the need to dye my hair.  I knew that if I let that gray hair show, men were going to think I was older than I was.  As I matured, I realized they needed to know I was not the silly young girl they thought I was, so I began to let that gray hair show.  There would be no more talking down to me, making stupid statements, and acting as if I was a lost puppy that needed a home.  Something as simple as letting my gray hair show sent a bold message to the ladies and gentlemen, I'm not whoever or whatever you thought I was.  Funny, how people treat you a bit more respectful when you look and act your age.

Now when you look younger--really young, some manipulative elders will take advantage.  They falsely assume you haven't had much life experience, you are ignorant to a lot of things, and they think having fun each day is one of your priorities.  They don't think of you as marriage material or baby-making.  You are a "friend" and that's about it.  Therefore, some older guys who have a bit of money, enjoy going to nice places, and treating their pretty young "things" will do some nice things for you until they grow weary of you or vice versa.  The rule of thumb:  look pretty and don't talk too much.  You start talking about the future, children, where he has been, who he knows, and wanting to meet his relatives, the older guy just might start to distance himself if he isn't sold out on your type.  Yes, he has "a type" and if you don't fit into that mold, he isn't thinking about any present or future. 

Now the "friend" relationship works when you don't care to be in a serious commitment with someone, but when feelings begin to grow, you want more.  But an older gentleman may not want to see you as anything more than whatever you agreed to be to him.

I learned quite a few life lessons when it comes to dating older men unfortunately the hard way.  Those lessons were the premise for starting this blog years ago.  I wanted young women as well as mature men to see the ups and downs when it comes to age gap dating and do it wisely.  I wanted people on the outside looking in to be informed and have a bit of compassion for these couples.  It isn't always easy.   Money, time, and energy is often lost in these partnerships because couples get swept away with "fun, different, new experience" that they don't realize just how many people they affect when they make poor choices in selecting mates.  Children from previous marriages lose respect for their parent(s).  Relatives shun or distance themselves from their young family members who refuse to listen to warnings.  Religious people judge these couples because they assume something unholy is going on (which it is sometimes especially when the older gentleman is still married).  Children are born into the new relationship wearing scarlet letters because some relatives believe they should have been born in wedlock.  Society frowns at the dirty old men who date women who are young enough to be daughters and nieces.  Sometimes children are born with health issues because there is such a wide age gap. 

When a mature man thinks a woman is younger than he thinks, he has a choice: he can either go ahead and date her and actually enjoy the experience of dating someone more mature then what he was hoping for or he can let the lady go in peace.  Too often people settle and later learn that they are unhappy.  If a young woman is misrepresenting herself or falsely advertising that she is younger than what she claims to be, this might backfire.  For some mature men, they are strict about the kind of young women they like to date and if the woman is not really twenty-something it might be an issue for some.  There are differences between age groups and not everyone can tolerate those differences.
So be sure, young lady, you are representing an accurate portrayal of who you are.  Consider this, a mature man who is adamant about your age, most likely will not change from his stance.  Your youthful appearance will eventually fade, especially after child-bearing, and he will no longer find you as attractive as he once did.  Sooner or later, he will find that comparable match who will be a lot younger than you.

Nicholl McGuire shares more dating tips at lovedatingadvice.blogspot.com

Friday

Young Women: Guard Your Beauty and Your Youth

As much as we would like to believe that those who seek a companion mean well, there are many in our society that are more concerned about intimate needs being met by an attractive and energetic special someone.  Yet, when you are older, and not as youthful as you once were and not much interested in living life like a youth, why does one bother dating younger?

A young beautiful woman full of life must guard her beauty and her youth from those who are simply dull, boring types who may have once looked fit and attractive and had an interesting life, but not anymore.  If there is one who is wise around the youthful beauty, she should take heed to advice discouraging her not to date someone who is showing signs that he is more interested in stealing her beauty and youth for himself; rather than working to preserve his own.  From keeping the young woman close to him to saying or doing negative things to keep the young woman from experiencing life, some older men have troubled minds void of understanding, empathy or love for another human being.  Controlling, abusive, and downright strange, older men tend to be the ones who prey on content, young women, who might be easily persuaded into having sex in exchange for money and gifts.  

The more these young women give their beauty and energy away to tired, older men who have very little conversation, much less little time for intimacy, the more the twinkle in their eyes diminishes and the laughter, that once charmed their mature men, becomes no more.  Ever wonder why an older man who has a young woman on his arm looks unhappy?  Shouldn't he be grateful to have such a wonderful dame in his presence?  If he is honest with himself, he knows he has no business dating out of his age group especially if she is still discovering things about herself and isn't much knowledgeable about simple day-to-day living.  If the older guy isn't going to do the kind of things to make a young woman stay interested in him, like have a real conversation with her, then he has no business dating or marrying her.  Have you ever noticed the face of a young woman walking with or behind an older man?  Does she look happy and in love like she might be with someone closer to her age?  She may have a few bags in her hand, bought by her older partner, but is she really happy?

Beauty goes away so very quickly, before long the young woman looks at herself in the mirror and asks, "Where has time gone?  Why do I look so worn?"  Meanwhile, next to her in the mirror is an aging man, one who uses the unloved woman as a mere trophy piece to trick society into thinking he is okay with living his life.  Really?

Young women guard your beauty and your youth.  Tired, older men who thought that getting a young woman would complete you, think again!  Joy comes from within.  If you are unhappy with yourself and your life choices, seek your Creator to complete you, not a young woman still full of life!

Nicholl McGuire

Wednesday

How Old is Too Old When Dating an Older Man?

Could you use a bit of sense of humor today?  Here's how you know when you are dating someone way too old for you!

1.  He repeats the same story at least three times or more in a conversation that is less than an hour long.

2.  He confuses you with a young lady he dated back when he was a youngster.  When you correct him on calling you by the wrong name, he says, "I'm sorry I didn't recognize you, let me go get my glasses."

3.  He is too old when he misses the toilet when he goes to the bathroom.

4.  If he often complains about his back, neck, head and any other part of his anatomy before sex, during or after--take a clue, he's too d*mn old!

5.  When he says things like, "When I was your age...You are so young...What do you want an old geezer like me for?"

6.  He's too old when you constantly smell something old coming from his body!  Be careful that smell might rub off on you!

7.  You have yourself a real old guy when he starts reflecting back to a time when he only paid cents for something.

8.  He tells you that your old enough to be his granddaughter.

9.  When everything you touch on him is soft and he seems to be shrinking everywhere except for his ears and nose--they appear as if they are growing monthly!

10.  He is definitely too old when your grandmother tries to hit on him!


Nicholl McGuire

Thursday

Some Mature Older Men will Take Advantage of Immature Young Women

Why is it that her family raises eyebrows when her older date comes around them?  Why is it that negative words is all family and friends speak when the young woman talks about her mature date?  Why does the young woman feel like she has to defend her man, her preference, her reasons for dating him, and more--Why?

From the stranger that looks at the young woman with a look of caution to the father who threatens to hurt him, if he so much as make his daughter cry, they have good reason to be concerned.  There are some mature men who will take advantage of a young woman who has little life experiences.  She hasn't managed her own finances for long, may not have moved away from home but once, lived with a boyfriend for a short stint, and doesn't get around much because she is always working.  So she doesn't really know much about dating/relationships, finances, travel, and adulthood, besides what her parents and siblings may have told her growing up. 

Unfortunately, many fathers and other male relatives just don't talk to the females in their families about too much of anything relevant to their lifestyle choices from what they wear to who they pick to date.  Sure, a concerned dad or uncle might say, "Be careful of those big, bad wolves out there..."  But is that really enough information to protect her?  "What should I look out for?"  the young lady should ask for specifics, find out what fathers, uncles, cousins are really saying.  Hopefully, they aren't so protective of the male bond that they will start exposing the games that men play.  But if they don't, there are always books like that one by Steve Harvey, Act Like a Lady Think Like Man--many men hated him for writing this one.

The big, bad wolves come in sheep's clothing.  They are charming, act protecting, flatter, want young women who won't ask any questions, might even talk a few out of the little money they have saved up in bank accounts, and may even promise marriage knowing full well that is the least of their intentions.  When the bad wolf throws back his false exterior, the young woman usually finds out the hard way that all that glitters ain't gold!  He is mean-spirited, bitter because of a past divorce, loss of money or children, and displeased with his life choices.  The immature, young woman might be a product of his mid-life crisis, and when he realizes this, he isn't that handsome, loving, and sensitive type that she had once fallen in love with.

What is downright evil that some mature men do to unwise, young women is know full well how far they will keep them on their strings before they cut the ties.  They act like puppet masters, controlling arms, legs and whatever else they can.  Rather than encouraging her to do what she likes, pursue her dreams, he manipulates her into holding off dreams, follow him and do whatever he asks while forsaking all family and friends. 

Mature men, who don't have to be the player type, but rather controlling, plan out exactly the beginning, middle and end of their courtship with young, silly women, before pursuing what they truly want, a wise woman with a certain youthfulness about her.  They act as if everything is okay in their dating experiences with the immature as long as they keep getting what they can out of them.  But when the typical immature responses start grating on their nerves, they back off.  Rebellious, tempermental, argumentative women, who act like children, get kicked to the curb! 

Sooner or later, the immature woman notices some negative things about her older man, but doesn't catches on completely until she sees him starting to withdrawal.  Sex isn't coming as regularly, conversation is sparse/meaningless, he isn't taking her places like he once had, and sometimes she may even detect some hostility in his voice.  If she starts snooping/investigating to find out what is really going on with him, the hurtful reality is discovered, he never was into her as much as he claimed.  From photographs of other women to phone numbers, it was all a game to that mature player.  In time, the young woman learns the game of her puppet master.  The silly woman, who was once ignorant, becomes enlightened.

The tables often turn on both the selfish, mature men and their young, silly women who think they are going to "just date for fun, have a good time."  People eventually wise up.  Young women, realize there is more to dating some mature older men than meets the eye.


Nicholl McGuire

Sunday

The Temperamental Older Man Who Thinks He is Okay

His hair is thinning, belly protruding, and he isn’t excited about life. He is often irritated with others. Whether they are too talkative, noisy, happy, or active, he looks at people, even member of his own household, with a dismal expression before exploding about what someone said or did. What is it about the temperamental older man that makes older women stay away and young women want to run?

Those who love him and have taken a bit of time to do some research on his age group usually find out that his bodily changes are associated with his anger outbursts, sudden tearful moments, impatience, and other odd behaviors. Although one presents the sensitive man with proven scientific evidence about his change of life, whether he is in 40s, 50s, 0r 60s, he resents the researchers, curses loved ones and goes about his life taking risks.

Young women are warned about dating men with testosterone issues, also known as low-T, but typical of young women, they don’t heed wise counsel. They go ahead and date, have sex, produce babies, get married, and do other things that might put their safety and overall well-being at risk. If a young woman knows that she doesn‘t have the patience, time or knowledge to deal with a moody older man, it is best to stay or run away before she catches his wrath.

The longer a young woman dates and older man, her eyes begin to widen and then she starts to see what her mature relatives and friends had been warning. Unfortunately, some young women see the truth too late and are abused physically, mentally, or even spiritually. The troubled older man who attends church regularly or has a background in religion will use the Bible as a means of control. The abuser will use verbal abuse and silent treatment to get her to follow his rules. Then there is the often angry older man who threatens or strikes his victims (men/women/children/pets) whenever things don’t go his way or he doesn’t like the way someone is treating him.

Rather than get necessary help that could possibly bring his hormones in balance, the mentally disturbed man, who once demonstrated self-control in many areas of his life, plays the blame game. “It’s the job…the annoying kids…my crazy wife…my car…this money-sucking house…” Sure. How about it’s him--a man that has reached a place in his life where everything rattles his nerves. In his youth, he had challenges and got over them without saying much. He watched movies and rarely, if ever, shedded a tear. He ran, lifted heavy objects, jumped, climbed, danced, played athletic sports, and did many things without needing to sit down for long periods of time. He was able to have sex without worrying over whether a certain part of his anatomy would stay firm. He worked from sun up to sun down and ran all over time to this event and that one. Those were the good old days, but the mature gentleman’s present days could get better if he would face his reality and build his life in such a way that can accommodate the different human being that he has become. From less work hours to a daily regimen of eating right, taking necessary medicine and supplements, and scheduling time for other activities, besides watching TV or sitting in front of a computer screen, just might uplift his spirits.

Some men will allow their moods to dominate even their intimate lives, fun times with their family, and travel. They will say, “I’m not up to it. I rather not. Could we do that another time?” He exchanges good times for a room, chair and an electronic device. For some men, that is the best place for them, because if they refuse to acknowledge that they are not good people to be around, they are better left alone. For loved ones who have a person like this around them, get on with your life! Create distance if he seems to be increasingly angry over what most people wouldn’t overreact to if you feel your mental stability and safety is at risk. You will know that trouble is on the horizon when you experience the following around the moody older man: nervousness, irritability, rage, vengeful thoughts, unexplained tension, constant stomach upset, or headaches. Separate yourself from him and contact this person less. If you live with him, doesn’t matter what you have or don’t have with this person, pack your bags and leave before he hurts you or you retaliate with hurtful words and physical violence. For those spiritual, your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit so you know you don’t have to put up with abuse and don’t let those religious types tell you otherwise.

A temperamental older man is not going to change without proper treatment, he is only going to get worse! No amount of exercise or quiet meditation is going to solve an ongoing problem if he doesn’t want to get tested, listen to doctor’s advice and make necessary changes that you may have suggested as well. Stubborn men, who don’t watch all aspects of their diets including cutting out sugary drinks, maintaining reasonable portion sizes, and doing other things to better their health, rarely change. Years will go by and they will say, “I am going to do this…and I am going to do that…” They unfortunately don’t attempt to make significant changes until something major happens with their bodies, relationships, or income.

Tuesday

Most Older Men Don't Want the Younger Woman, He Just Likes to Flirt

Can you tell the difference between an older man who is simply flirting with no strings attached and one who is very interested in dating a younger woman?  Some women can't tell while some men couldn't care less--that is unless the young woman is his daughter.  There are those young women who falsely assume that any man who visits the drive thru window at a fast food restaurant one too many times in a day to order something with a smile on their faces are interested in them.  Others worry that certain men who talk or laugh too long would like to date.  The thought for some young women never crosses their mind, the mature man has someone already and is just being nice.

When one is desperate for attention, believes that she can gain something (for nothing) or hopes to find that partner to complete her through a moment of laughter and a wink, she appears weak and silly.  Some men like to travel the same route everyday going to and from work, eat at the same restaurant, or shop at the same store.  Their frequent visits doesn't always mean he wants the young woman taking his order or ringing the cash register even though their are some men who do these things hoping to make a connection.

A young woman, who mistakes a friendly exchange as something more, might flirt with the mature man, inquire about his personal life, or assume that he might be "the one."  Some men, who don't clearly draw the line, will fall for that young woman and eventually destroy their families.  So much lost all because a series of friendly encounters grew into a temptation with dire consequences.

Young women as well as older men must pay attention to what signs they might be sending to one another.  Mature unavailable men, consider changing up routines when you see that certain women are beginning to act in ways that say, "I'm interested."  Single young women, be mindful of that flirtacious male's wedding band, photographs, the children riding in his car, the presence of a woman now and then walking or riding with him, or references he makes about "my wife...my family...my girlfriend."  Put yourself in his shoes, would you break up your family for a lover?

Nicholl McGuire author of When Mothers Cry

Tips Dating Older Men, Young Women Blog Topics

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