Tuesday

10 Warning Signs On Dating Hyper-sexualized Young Women

From the time a young girl was old enough to walk, she may have already experienced some things too graphic to mention here when it comes to her sexuality.  By the time she is in her 20s, she has seen, heard and felt enough pain and pleasure that it isn't any wonder that at times she dresses and acts in ways that might be considered shameful, disrespectful, and downright foolish to some older men.

As much as some mature men would love a twenty-something beauty on their arms, what they don't realize is there is often baggage that comes with the hyper-sexualized type--those very sexy women who will do almost anything for a good time.  From various personalities they can switch on and off to eating disorders, these sexy ladies are seriously too hot to handle and may create much drama in an unsuspecting man's life.  Some older men don't realize what they are getting themselves into until its too late i.e.) rape accusations, stalking, jail etc.

When checking out these pretty young women both on and offline, mature men should consider the following:

1.  Is the young woman often seen in photographs half nude or totally nude?

2.  Does she strip, use drugs, or abuse alcohol?

3.  How might accepting her wild lifestyle affect a possible future relationship with her, your life, or affect others in your family?

4.  Is she frequently seen flirting or "hanging out" with males?

5.  What is the likelihood that the young lady has slept with at least one or two of her so-called good friends?  How might you feel sharing her with other men?

6.  Does she have a close relationship with mom, dad or both to the point that it makes you feel uncomfortable or is her relationship so bad to the point that police had to get involved?

7.  Have you experienced moments with the young lady that made you question whether she was mentally stable?

8.  Has she asked you to do things to her or others that were strange, odd, or painful?  Did you do these things against your better judgment?  What might happen if you keep doing them?

9.  Have you had dark dreams about her or experienced some bizarre things when she isn't around?

10.  Does she curse often, yell, or make a big deal about things that most people wouldn't?

These are just some things you will want to think about before planning a future where you might be taking care of the young woman financially and physically.  Some of these hyper-sexualized women know just how bad things are with them mentally, physically and spiritually while hoping to find a few good men to save them.  When that doesn't work, they often do the following:  get pregnant in the hopes their lovers will stick around, later abandon children, leave their babies with many different people, or choose to abort because they are incapable of handling the responsibility of raising children.

If you know someone who appears to have it together, yet tends to be overly sexy and has been at times very irresponsible in her decision-making, pay attention to the warning signs early on and protect yourself in more ways than one.

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7

Saturday

She Was a Child, He Was a Man

I never thought in a million years that my mom would lift up the liner of my purse and see many letters from a young girl about 13 written to me.  The girl was my best friend.  She was going through a tough time back in '86.  Dad was no where to be found, mom was often working, and my friend had a lot of time to hang out.  Me, I had no time to spare, my parents didn't believe in me spending anytime over friends' homes or they coming to our home, nor was I allowed to ride on buses or chill on street corners, parking lots or malls.  Phone calls were limited and so was afterschool events.  So back then, before Internet, there was much letter writing between friends.


I knew that things were beginning to take a different turn for my good friend when she started mouthing off to our teacher back in elementary school.  The guy was nice and more patient than most teachers.  I was thinking at the time, "What was up with her?"  The rebellious student had a lot on her mind.  I knew her secrets, but I didn't know just how bad they could affect her personality, but I could never tell--I promised.


My friend had met a guy who was 21 years old that same year.  She had been lying about her age for a long time.  I thought it was strange at that a young man was interested in her.  I mean she was attractive and had a build that didn't look like a teen, yet  I could see how young she looked in the face, but I guess the older guy didn't seem to notice or didn't care.  I really wished he had taken a better look at her between all the makeup she wore and simply told my flirtatious friend, "You're too young Sweetheart and moved on."  But the letters never revealed he rejected her, rather he seemed to be taking advantage of her and I mentioned some things in the hope that she would get some help.


For many months, she confessed how she felt about the guy.  "I love him...he's so nice," she would say.  She talked about how he liked her and bought her things.  She said she really wanted to be with him.  At some point, her mom detected she had a boyfriend.  However, in time she knew he was older, but hadn't pressed the issue about her daughter breaking up with him.  I thought it was bizarre back then that mom seemed not to care.  But looking back, the man most likely was giving the mother some money or helping the family out in some way.


I hated keeping my friend's secrets, I eventually did throw those once hidden letters away at the request of my mother, they started becoming more and more graphic.  The girl would share her experiences and I being a faithful friend just couldn't divulge her secrets.  I was 11 years old at the time.  My friend's life wasn't the least bit innocent.  As I read each letter, I felt like a piece of my own childhood was evaporating. 


When I reflect on the day that my mom found those many letters, it was freeing in some way even though I was quite scared that she might do something.   I was so glad not to carry my friend's burdens anymore.  That was her life and her mother was going to have to deal with whatever she permitted her daughter to do.


By the time that school year ended, I don't really know what happened to my friend.  The last I heard, she was going to a different school.


Nicholl McGuire 

Friday

Money, Sex and Online Dating

If you thought you were going to get online, find someone at one of those dating websites and all would be just fine in the end, think again!  There will be challenges sooner or later when you meet these people who flock to the Internet to set up dating profiles and upload attractive headshots.  For many online daters, it's a business whether they choose to call their dating experiences that.  They are on these dating websites for upfront money and/or sex.  You just aren't going to get something for nothing!  The wealthy man calls the beautiful women he wants to date prostitutes because they want cash, gifts and other things before they agree to have sex.  The women complain about being called gold-diggers.  Then there are both men and women irregardless of their sexual preferences, locations, etc. they have their share of issues they are running away from, desire to relocate, and want more out of life and so someone online is supposed to save them from their boring routines or rescue them out of their poor situations.


Now let's just put money and sex to the side for a moment.  Do you really like that guy and is he really your type?  Is that girl so beautiful that you will do almost anything for her like marry her for starters?  The truth is that many available as well as unavailable men and women are not sold out on their online dates, at least not in the beginning of the courtship, they say things like, "I think I could one day love him...She might be a good wife one day..."  So in the meantime have a good time and get what you can out of the deal, right? 


It takes time to truly get to know someone, but a man or woman with a pressing offline need is not going to waste too much time chatting, winking, texting, and doing much else before asking, "So when are we getting together?"  Then when the time comes, someone better deliver on the goods or else face any number of things depending on the date's mindset.  So many have had bad experiences feeling pressured to deliver on what was suggested online or promised.


There is nothing wrong with establishing boundaries and telling a person where you stand when it comes to a casual dating, serious commitment, or fling experience.  But what is wrong is leading someone to believe things just to get things!  Whatever the desire, wouldn't it be best simply to state it--no sugar-coating and no pretending to go along just to get along either?  Even if your request is met with a "no," take heed, learn from the experience, and get needs met in other ways.


Unfortunately, some online daters ask for trouble when they assume they are going to visit an Internet website and get what they want when they want.  As much as one would like to believe that these dating websites will deliver whether you pay or not, you still have to face the harsh reality that people are people and if they like you, they like you and if they don't, they don't.


Money and sex, if you hope for one or both, be prepared for the consequences in your rush to get these things.


Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.  Would you like more dating advice, see here.



How to Attract Younger Women - She Reveals The Truth!


Sunday

How Does the Young Woman End Up with an Older Man a Lot Like Dad?

I never planned to date any men who acted like my dad, but yet I found myself in so many ways being attracted to older men who had some or as many of my dad's traits that I could find.  I realize now there were "triggers," things I might have liked, wished, or didn't like about my own father, but I didn't know this at the time.  On the surface, I could care less about dad's appearance, personal interests, etc. yet someone within me, cared a whole lot! 

When the need to want to be close to dad was there, it showed up in the mates I agreed to date.  I didn't seek out these men, they came to me which was quite bizarre just how much they reminded me of my dad.  So for me, if there is something that I like or I found missing in my life related to my father, I tended to gravitate to it.  However, as I mature, I am recognizing this and finding more healthier ways to cope since the truth is, I have no desire in the future to date any more men especially with a large age gap--five years tops!  I am married now and I see my dad in some ways.

1.  Skin Tone

It all started with skin tone, I personally like my own father's color, so if a guy was similar to his shade, I would be more open to talk to him then someone with a darker skin tone.

2.  Occupation and Hobbies

If the man had a background that was close to my dad's like a white collar job, military service, and hobbies that reminded me of him, he also got the VIP treatment.  (Mind you, at the time, I didn't knowing that my criteria in meeting someone was based on my dad's lifestyle).

3.  Age

I realized that most men who are older are more settled.  I didn't experience any hurt growing up such as, a father who ran the streets like a young man, partied, concerned about "his boys" or acted wild.  Yet, my experience with younger, unsettled men was just that.  They were often uncaring and wasted money.  My dad and other older men I knew didn't do this, so the age gap was a plus for me.  However, I had a strict upbringing, so I felt comfortable with controlling types which caused me much heartache with one older man.

4.  Travel

What was strange was I really wanted men who got out and explored their local areas and elsewhere, yet I kept giving many dates the pass on this who didn't get out much!  I would eventually get frustrated with these men.  When I reflected back, my dad didn't leave the home to do recreational activities or vacation much either.

5.  Communication

I found that when I talked with my dates, I often over did it and I wondered why.  I felt like sharing so much of myself with these men.  The truth was that at home with my own father, we rarely talked and he spent much time on off days staring at a television screen.  So of course, where did I find I had most of my conversations with these dates?  Seated next to them while they watched TV with no eye contact.  They didn't seem to care too much about what I said, just like my dad.

If you should find that there is much going on with a date that is somehow connected with father blues or daddy issues, know that the young lady really can't help herself.  Her dad dropped the ball.  She still has more maturing to do so that she can find someone who she likes that doesn't consciously or subsconsciously remind her of her dad.  This comes with being exposed to men at work, school, church, and elsewhere.  She doesn't have to date much, but she will need to establish friendships in an effort to learn what she likes or doesn't like in men while breaking the wish for having a relationship with her father.  Sometimes talking with dad about issues helps quell some childhood woes too.  Also, a simple hug can do wonders.  But what I will not advise is taking advantage of the wish for daddy's communication, affection and more, becoming like a dad to her.  That relationship will soon fizzle especially when she begins to bond with her dad. 

As for the young lady, continue to learn more about yourself and your needs and when you recognize you are choosing a mate based on what you did or didn't have with a dad, think deeply and be sure it is a healthy connection.

Nicholl McGuire
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