Friday

The reality: Being lonely and dating as a poor girl


When the Relationship is Coming to an End: Things the Young Woman Might Do

Some young women just can't handle rejection from older men especially those who have been taken care of by a Sugar Daddy type.  Like men, they too will do things to try to save their pride particularly if they aren't ready for a break up.   Getting a partner's attention is one of the most popular things an immature, young woman will do even after the older gentleman has said, "It's over!"

Dress provocatively.

She attempts to win him back in her arms by making herself even more appealing and sexy.  She thinks that if she can get him back in the bed, he will change his mind about her and the relationship.  It may sound silly, even strange, that she would put herself out like that, but this is what some young women will do.

Change her appearance.

Now for some women, rather than use her sex appeal to charm her former partner back into her arms again, she will do some things like change her hairstyle, color, or other things that either send a bold statement or a subtle one like, "See, what you are missing!  I will be fine without you.  I am focused on me.  I am a new and improved me, thanks to you!"

Cry.

The tears flow every time you come around or call her.  She is pulling on your heart strings.  She wants "things to get better...I still love you...I really want this to work..."

Laugh.

She may use a happy countenance as a lure to get her older partner to pay her attention.  She figures that if she is jovial and fun to be around he won't mind being in her presence and will forget about breaking up with her.

Buy gifts.

Gift-giving works for the man who doesn't have much, but for the established man, not so much.  Yet, the young woman will try to win his affections by buying her man something she thinks he will really like in the hopes of getting back in his good graces!

Here are other things she might do to halt a breakup:

Pop over his house unannounced.

Do outlandish things like send a naked photo of herself or show up naked.

Act insecure and jealous especially when he mentions talking to other women whether they are family or not.

Pick fights.

Dress half-naked or wear very tight clothes around his friends while making conversation possibly exchanging phone numbers.

Threaten to expose her lover's secrets or share details of their relationship with others.

Yell/scream, in other words, make a scene in a public place.

Do drugs or drink heavily before meeting her former lover.

Talk about committing suicide.

Use pregnancy as a good reason for the two of them to work things out.  She may be pregnant, she may not be.  Go to doctor's visits with her to be sure--don't take a sonogram photo as proof alone and get a DNA test as soon as possible.

When a woman uses many of these tactics to keep a man, you have to wonder how stable is her mindset during a tough time.  Some women just are too fragile mentally to deal with breaking up, but staying with them knowing full well you no longer like, trust, or want to be around them is not good either.  Unfortunately, verbal and physical abuse will fester and may even become so bad that one might lose his or her freedom!  When the writing is on the wall that your soon-to-be ex-girlfriend is acting out of her mind, be sure to use the full extent of the law to keep you safe and anyone else you might be dating in the future.

Nicholl McGuire author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate.

 

Tuesday

He's More Interested in Sex than a Relationship - What to do?

He came off too strong the last time you two were together.  His eyes were everywhere and his hands would have been too had you not stopped the horny guy.  You would like to go out with him again, but you wonder if it is going to be more of the same?  Yes, it will be if you keep teasing him with those lips, that dress, your gaze, sexy conversation, and whatever else you do that turns him on.  You might want to think twice about being alone with him.

Young women take chances dating men who obviously want more than just dinner and a movie.  He has told you over the phone what he wants and has also been quite bold in what he hopes to have happen the next time he sees you.  So what do some young women do?  They give into the wild man's desires even when these girls don't want to and unfortunately some get raped.

One must be on her guard when dating older men who are not acting like gentlemen, but more like men who haven't had sex in awhile.  You can't have a great time with someone who talks often about having sex when you know you aren't ready.  Think twice before going out with the man who can't seem to take "Later or in the future..." as a good enough answer.  Pushy men might be violent men, so be careful.

Some things you might want to do:

1.  Explain to him why he is turning you off with all his talk about having sex with you.

2.  Distance yourself from him by not answering your phone everytime he calls or opening your door when he comes around.  Talk with relatives and friends about your concerns if he keeps insisting that he wants to come over.

3.  Be prepared to fight if he doesn't respect your boundaries.  Have self-defense equipment and 911 on speed dial.

4.  Don't ride in the car with him and arrange to have a future date in a public space if you must go out with this "I need sex right now" guy again.

5.  You might feel the need to keep him in your life, but don't give up anything to get something, always find alternatives.  A sexual bond with someone who doesn't care much about you and vice versa can take a long time to get over and you might have many regrets as a result.  Young women have been known to have children they didn't want with men they were never attracted to.  They have also walked away with sexually transmitted diseases among other things because they compromised their personal beliefs to satisfy someone else's.  Don't let this happen to you!

When the writing is on the wall that your sexually-starved friend is more concerned about your body and less interested in anything else, don't think things will get better, because if you do what he likes, most likely he will find someone else to pursue in the future if you give up sex too soon.

Nicholl McGuire author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate http://laboringtoloveanabusivemate.blogspot.com

Friday

7 Dating Tips for Older Men Meeting Young Women for the First Time

So you are excited about meeting your new date offline?  Your first meeting will be great if you just remember to relax, don't take yourself too seriously, and use your manners.  Now here are some other tips you might not have thought about.
 

One. Have a plan, a back up plan, and another plan on where you are taking your date.

First dates are the memorable ones, so you will want to work out a great plan. Interview her on what she might like to do, see and eat on the first date. Mention your interests. Find places that will meet both your needs. Have alternative plans that are near the area just in case an unforeseen circumstance takes place. But whatever you do, don’t wander aimlessly around looking for a place to go. Research the area before you arrive. If you can visit the community before you get there, do it. Google the location and check reviews. If one spot doesn’t work out, check out the next, and the next when all else fails, park in a nice spot and just talk until you can figure out where to go next. Keep your cool.

Two. Save money to be spent on your dating experience.

Don’t count on your date to have much. Young mothers with children don’t typically have a lot of money put aside for dating. A young woman in college maybe barely making ends meet. Just because she may be living independently or with parents, doesn’t mean she is able to afford an expensive outing with someone she is still getting to know. So avoid the temptation to ask her to split the bill, drive her car, or pay for gas. If you can’t afford to make a good impression, put it off. Remember the old adage, a first impression is a lasting one--don’t blow it!

Three. If things should go wrong, don’t lie or make lame excuses.

You spent too much time looking at yourself in the mirror, you fell asleep and forgot about the date, someone came over and you left late, whatever the reason, don’t focus on what you did wrong by lying, covering up, or exaggerating, apologize and then get right to making wrongs right. “Let me make this up to you, could I interest you in…would you like…I would love to help you with…” Statements like these sound much better than, “I didn’t think it was a good time to meet, but I know you wanted…You could have called me, you’re lucky I’m here…Everyone is always bothering me at the last minute, I would have been here sooner, but…” So is she going to have to feel your tension all evening?

Four. Look your best, be prepared to take a photo with her.

Skipping anything that you typically do to make yourself handsome can be detrimental when on a first date. When that special someone has seen you looking your best in many of your photos, she doesn’t want to suddenly see the gray-bearded guy who once had a black beard in all his photographs or the guy with the flat stomach suddenly have one now that he isn’t wearing a certain garment, shirt, or suit coat. The first photo is just as important as the first date, so be sure you have everything trimmed, colored, or whatever else it is that you do to look good.

Five. Be kind and respectful.

 
It is very easy to be yourself to the point that it turns a date off. Be yourself, but within reason. Don’t act overly macho, young and silly, or crazy and critical just because she shared a story once of a cool guy who saved her family or some funny guys back in high school. Most young women want what the older ones want, a polite man who is a good listener and sincerely cares about her.

Six Avoid the temptation of expecting her to have sex with you.

Just because you both were talking hot and heavy on the phone the other night, doesn’t mean that she is going to have sex with you. You never know what has transpired since the two of you last talked. So if she doesn’t bring it up, don’t say anything, but gently let her know with a flirty glance, “I wouldn’t mind.” From religious conviction to a menstrual cycle, many factors come into play when a woman just doesn’t seem interested in being intimate. Besides, you shouldn’t want a woman who is all-too-willing to get in bed with you without so much as thinking about a commitment.

Seven. Don’t assume that she wants to go out with you again.

Some men believe that they are a catch and that every woman should be honored to be in their presence. However, there is always one, two, three or more women who rather be anywhere then with an unattractive boring guy, a miserable man, a control freak, or crazy nut. Be sure that none of these descriptions fit you. Young women might be open to try something new for a time, but then when things get weird, they will gradually back off.

Taking the needed time to prepare for a date will not only make her feel comfortable, but you will feel good knowing that no matter what happens, you did your best. To your success!

Nicholl McGuire maintains other blogs as well, check out http://workplaceproblems.blogspot.com

Tuesday

Thanks for supporting! tipsdatingoldermen.blogspot.com

We have been blogging since 2007!  It feels good knowing that people are reading and obtaining a bit of wisdom, humor, and dating tips when it comes to finding and keeping a great companion.

So what is a blog entry without sharing more tips on dating older and younger?

If you are ready and willing to make changes when your own efforts have failed, then you are more likely to act on the tips this blog provides you.  People who have quality relationships are those who are open to accepting their mate's frailties and able to see their own personal flaws. 

When seeking that special someone or maintaining one's current relationship,
one knows that he or she can't afford to be too picky.  A lover enjoys a mate's company and isn't concerned about things like what his or her eyebrows look like and how the person laughs.  Instead of focusing on the little things that might annoy others, the lover focuses on everything that makes him or her feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Love prevails even when one is dating older or younger.  Age doesn't matter when one is sold out and in love with a mate!  So for those who just don't get it, it isn't for you to "get it," just be positive and hope that the energy of a fresh romance rekindles a stale one!

In closing, be free to love a person in a way that you always wanted!  Sure, there are many voices that want to help you solve your dilemmas, better you, and so on, but what really matters is what you want so take what you learn and make it your own!  So enjoy the blog, there is more to come!

Nicholl McGuire Media

The Ugly Reality of Dating an Older Partner with Low T or Hormonal Issues

He isn’t going to tell you that his body was part responsible for ending his last relationship with someone who was close to his age. Instead, he is going to tell you that “things just didn’t work out.” His former partner who suffers with mood swings, hot flashes and more is not going to admit that her fluctuating emotions is what ran her husband out of the house and into the arms of another woman younger than she. Both will “act” as if that’s how life is, and so they move on, or do they?

Some menopausal wives recognize their actions and inactions in their marriages and will work hard to try to restore them even going so far as to say downright foolish things to try to keep their husbands. Then there are those men with health issues, who may still want to be with their wives, but not live with them, so they will try to live double lives. He may be with his wife on one day and then with his girlfriend on another day and so on.

Ashamed, miserable, and broken, what once was is no more for some couples who have been together for 10 plus years. Yet, for others, their younger partners become nothing more than past times until the former couple gets whatever needs to be fixed in their minds, bodies and spirits. An aha moment comes and before long, he is wanting to get remarried to his ex, she is desiring a baby, and the two believe that they will live happily ever after--not likely. The two have left behind a trail of broken hearts, the older man and his menopausal wife. They act as if everything is okay with the world until an ex shows up with some bad news, a former lover just finds it hard to let go, and someone else is not going away without a fight in court.

There is a price to pay when one doesn’t take care of his or her issues within a relationship before stepping out on his wife or husband. A young woman can become pregnant by an older man, even with low T (testosterone) issues, and before long, that relationship becomes nothing more than another chapter in history. The menopausal wife may find that a fling here and there with a younger gentleman suitor just isn’t worth it, but then later learns she is carrying an incurable sexually transmitted disease.

Why couldn’t he have stuck it out with his wife before wrecking havoc on someone else? Why couldn’t his wife hang in there a little longer? The emotional roller coaster of a ride comes into play with younger partners when the older ones make promises that they know they can’t keep.

“I love you…I am over my wife…Don’t worry I will take care of you…my husband and I are getting a divorce…” The younger person should be thinking, “Well, if that happens great, but I’m not sticking around. I can find someone else with less baggage.”

One must be cautious of those who have been displaying irresponsible behaviors--acting more like a rebellious teen, rather than a grown up. When the low T lover desires to live a more active lifestyle even when mind and body is saying otherwise, look out! He may act like that today, but totally different tomorrow. Then there is his wife who acts like she is in love one minute and then hates men the next. Young people are caught in the middle of mayhem wondering, “What is up with these so-called mature adults?”

Not every person deemed “mature” really is. Not every older man is caring, nurturing, and able to provide a lifestyle of security. Not every older woman is patient, sweet, and wants sex all the time. Contrary to what many may have heard and read about “the older date,” there are many who have issues due to things like: bad eating, addictions, trauma, mental issues and chronic health ailments. These people do not turn out to be what a younger person might expect after much Internet reading, interviewing others on their experiences, and going out on several dates or more. Smiling photographs of older people dating younger don’t reveal the issues that many couples face due to age differences. Sure it sounds nice as long as the older partners are single, healthy, active, and mentally sound, but when things change, one must be prepared for all sorts of challenges.

Once the writing is on the wall, so to speak, don’t try to put your own spin on truth, see it for what it really is and ask yourself, “Do I really want to go on this journey with my low T lover or my moody menopausal partner?” Keep in mind, sooner or later, the ride will end either with the young person still seated in the passenger seat alone, kicked off the ride, or ready for another one with his or her mature partner.

Nicholl McGuire

Saturday

The Characteristics of a Spiritually Poor, Rich, Older Man

He is poor spiritually, yet rich materially.  He doesn't seem to appear like he is lacking in anything.  However, once you spend some time with him and listen carefully to his conversation, you find that the wealthy man really has no spiritual connection to anyone or anything.  He doesn't feel it is necessary to pray, read a Holy Bible, visit a church, meditate, or do anything else related to spirituality.  For young women who believe in a Creator, you will find that being with an older man who isn't interested in bettering himself spiritually is going to be a challenge.

Mature men can be stubborn.  They resist being told anything that makes them feel like they are out of control of their own lives.  The minister might make them feel that way.  A spiritual counselor may aggravate him.  A parent who is religious can be irritating.  Then the young woman who is sold out for Jesus might be a turn-off.

Choosing to abandon one's faith for riches is foolish and connecting with someone who has quite boldly expressed how he doesn't need or want a relationship with a Creator will be a problem in the short and long term.  Yet, young believers will take that chance anyway, because they have a love for money that their bibles warn against.  If you sincerely want someone to complete you, recognize the spiritually poor, rich older man and save yourself some heartache, don't make him your intimate partner.

Here are some things to look out for.
  1. The rich man thinks and acts most often without spiritual insight and acknowledgement of a Creator.
  2. He finds fault with others, even those who mean him well, also blames Creator.
  3. Seeks women, alcohol, drugs, parties, and more to make him feel whole, but is disappointed that nothing satisfies completely.
  4. Unable to mentally break free from draining responsibilities even if retired or living a sedentary lifestyle, because he spent much of his life acquiring things while having his life dictated by someone or something else.
  5. He lies or exaggerates about not having enough money.
  6. Hoards money when fearful of things like: family trials, media stories, and other’s personal experiences about lost material wealth. Some men have become this way because they grew up in poor households.
If you claim to be a believer, pray for him, but move on to someone who you have more commonalities when it comes to spirituality--he's out there, so don't settle!

Nicholl McGuire

Don't have a study bible? Get one...Study with Nicholl http://bit.ly/J0wyop

Nicholl is the author of the following books:

Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic https://www.createspace.com/3437273
When Mothers Cry https://www.createspace.com/3393499
Laboring to Love Myself https://www.createspace.com/3401526
Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate https://www.createspace.com/3332346
Floral Beauty on a Dead End Street http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/904839
Spiritual Poems By Nicholl http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/3113926

Wednesday

Things Younger Women Want from Older Dates and It’s Not Just Financial Security

There are many things that any single woman interested in dating a mature gentleman wants when beginning their courtship. But for young women, who don’t have much dating experience, they are looking for some things from their older gentlemen in addition to money and gifts.

A friendship.

It brings great pleasure to a young woman when she can clearly see that an older gentleman is fond of her. Many of her friends are not with young men who care much about their likes, dislikes, present, or future. So when the older man finds her not only “attractive, intelligent, destined to be a success,” or whatever other nice words he uses to describe her, he boosts her self-esteem and quite naturally she wants more of his company.

A good lover.

Sexually active young women desire mind-blowing sex. Chances are she didn’t have that kind of experience when she dated men her age and younger. So when she has made a connection with not only a man who is a good communicator, but a great lover too, she becomes very excited about what more he has to offer.

Someone who isn’t like the males who negatively impacted them.

When young women seek out older men, they are looking for something different. They want to be with the men who have the kind of attributes that aren’t like younger men. Some younger women already had the controlling, jealous type of boyfriend. So when the older gentleman comes along, she wants him to be the opposite of the last guy. Is he mentally stable, secure, mature, and not possessive?

Responsible partner.

From how he takes care of his car to the way he deals with others, is he the type of person that people respect and does he keep promises, and cares for others? A smart, young woman wants a man who is going to not only be responsible because he is receiving a paycheck from someone, but know how to manage his personal life as well. She recognizes the fact that she just might be a part of his world one day, so she best act just as responsible if not more.

A trustworthy mate.

Can she trust her date around her mother and other women she knows? Some men just can’t be trusted and so she will be watching to see if he won’t disrespect her, steal, or lie as well as other things. She might even question him on whether or not he has a faith or some kind of moral principles he follows.

They want attention.

Whether she has daddy issues or not, she hopes that her date will shower her with affection and listen to her when she is up and when she is down. So she will do and say things to get a response out of her date. She is curious about how he reacts to her.

They want their men healthy.

Young women are concerned about their mature dates’ health especially when they find themselves falling in love with them. They want their mates to live long.

When a man has the ability to financially take care of his self, household and anyone who he chooses to make his partner, it is a wonderful thing, because that is just one less thing that his future mate has to be concerned about especially if things aren’t going so well for her at this time. However, most young women have a drive to succeed and participate in the kinds of activities where they can still be who they are without losing their identity in a relationship. A gentleman who inspires his young partner to be the best she can be in all that she does will look beyond his wallet.  She just might really view him as someone who she might be able to spend the rest of her life with.


Nicholl McGuire blogger at It's All in the Family, see blog here.

Sunday

10 Things that Excite Young Ladies About Their Dates' Transportation

So you want to make an even better impression on your date?  Know your transportation and how your young lady friend might respond to it.  Does she like a sporty car or a luxurious one?  What is she driving?  Make her feel special by sharing some of those things you like about your car, truck, van or motorcycle and offer to buy something that will cause her to think of you every time she gets into her car.  Consider the type of personality your date possesses, and think how her style might compliment your vehicle.

What is so special about a guy's transportation anyway?  Well, it all depends on the girl.  Following are 10 things that excite many young ladies who like nice automobiles.

1.  A ride on the back of a motorcycle for the adventurous type (keep in mind, not all young ladies like this).

2.  For those who don't mind messing up their hair, letting the convertible top down.

3.  The way the motor sounds when her date starts the car up.

4.  Automobile detail such as tinted windows, shiny rims, color, etc.

5.  How nice and clean the car smells.

6.  A spacious backseat.

7.  Riding in a vehicle that sits higher than others.

8.  A great sound system.

9.  A decorated inside with convenient items like tissue, trash bag, organizer, etc.

10.  Trunk space when traveling--no worries about bringing or buying too much stuff and not having enough room.

Make a lasting impression on the young lady when you pick her up the next time.  Impact her five senses and she just might be back for another ride on the town.

Nicholl McGuire also shares poetry here.

Friday

Nasty, Crazy, Sexy and Sweet Young Women: Know the Differences

A mature guy wants to go on a rich dating website to find that special someone who is years younger than he.  The kind of gal who is going to be the one that makes his heart sing, but there is only one problem, he really doesn't know what he is looking for in a young woman.  There are all types of young women from nasty to sweet.  If a gentleman whether rich, poor, nice or mean doesn't have a clue as to what really turns him on, why would he expect his youthful date to know what he wants?

Nasty Girl

As much as some would rather look the other way and think more highly of themselves than they ought, Nasty Girl is on the dating website seeking a good time and she is looking for a Nasty Boy.  She may look like any man's fantasy girl, but she isn't necessarily interested in living out the Pretty Woman movie.  She also isn't playing by any book of morals and ethics, and she wouldn't be all that interested in meeting her date's family no matter how long they have dated.  So why does the nice guy fall for her and attempt to make Ms. Nasty date him exclusively, who knows?  If Nasty Girl is your speed, you have to act the part, don't pretend like you aren't nasty when you know you are, hypocrites!  Keep in mind, if a man claims to be a believer in a Higher Power, who he considers righteous, you might want to flee from temptation, because Nasty Girl is very charming and you won't be able to let go easily.

Crazy Girl

Now she is going to be the one who is going to say things that most women wouldn't.  She will act like a fool about almost anything.  "I just love this...I couldn't ever live without...I absolutely so want to...I am obsessed with..." You get the picture.  She is full of emotions, energy, happy one minute, sad the next, and she so very wants to see the world!  But be careful, she falls in love way too fast--might even forget to take a pill or two!  Crazy Girl is ready to drop panties faster than you can say, "Let's go to my place."  Can your cell phone handle all of her future texts, voice mails, and images?  Do you think you are ready to show her off to family, make her your wife and play father to her children within less than six months of meeting her?  Oh by the way, she isn't going to appreciate your chatting with other women even if they are your mother, sister and children's mother.

Sexy Girl

You may come across way too many of these young and sexy types including those who are not really sexy at all, but just pretend to be.  After a few dates, some of these women are back to the jeans, long shirts, and tennis shoes with their hair tied back and no makeup--uh oh, is she still pretty?  Then you have the real, sexy women who might be a tad bit difficult to keep up with, because their sexiness is just a bit too hot too handle.  Men will turn their necks to take a look at your girl and might even slip her a number or two when you aren't looking.  None of your conservative female relatives, especially the married ones, will accept Ms. Sexy spreading all her lust all over the place.  Best to keep her to yourself!  Now could she be future marriage material, maybe?  But then again, maybe not if she doesn't know how to control her sexy.  She is the cheating type, so you will need to watch her!

Sweet Girl

Quiet, docile, ready to get married and have a baby or two, Sweet is going to be that one who makes time for you.  She is going to practically do whatever you suggest without complaint.  Sweet will even cook, clean, and rub your back.  This young woman might remind you of that good woman you left behind back in your youth.  She will stir up butterflies in your belly and bring some excitement in your mundane life.  Oh yeah, Sweet is a keeper.  But some older men, who are more interested in a good time, are better off leaving Sweet alone.  You don't want to break that girl's heart, chances are she has quite a few people who are close to her that would love to stir up some trouble with an old man that they really don't like the idea she is dating.

So there you have it, equipped with some useful knowledge about at least four popular types of young women you will meet on just about any dating website!  Choose wisely and be prepared to face the consequences when you don't live up to what you say.  Please come back to this site and share your experience, we would love it!


Nicholl McGuire is an author, blogger and Internet content producer.  Learn more about her here.
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