Thursday

Why Married/Unavailable 40 Year Old Men want Younger Women


Some Mature Older Men will Take Advantage of Immature Young Women

Why is it that her family raises eyebrows when her older date comes around them?  Why is it that negative words is all family and friends speak when the young woman talks about her mature date?  Why does the young woman feel like she has to defend her man, her preference, her reasons for dating him, and more--Why?

From the stranger that looks at the young woman with a look of caution to the father who threatens to hurt him, if he so much as make his daughter cry, they have good reason to be concerned.  There are some mature men who will take advantage of a young woman who has little life experiences.  She hasn't managed her own finances for long, may not have moved away from home but once, lived with a boyfriend for a short stint, and doesn't get around much because she is always working.  So she doesn't really know much about dating/relationships, finances, travel, and adulthood, besides what her parents and siblings may have told her growing up. 

Unfortunately, many fathers and other male relatives just don't talk to the females in their families about too much of anything relevant to their lifestyle choices from what they wear to who they pick to date.  Sure, a concerned dad or uncle might say, "Be careful of those big, bad wolves out there..."  But is that really enough information to protect her?  "What should I look out for?"  the young lady should ask for specifics, find out what fathers, uncles, cousins are really saying.  Hopefully, they aren't so protective of the male bond that they will start exposing the games that men play.  But if they don't, there are always books like that one by Steve Harvey, Act Like a Lady Think Like Man--many men hated him for writing this one.

The big, bad wolves come in sheep's clothing.  They are charming, act protecting, flatter, want young women who won't ask any questions, might even talk a few out of the little money they have saved up in bank accounts, and may even promise marriage knowing full well that is the least of their intentions.  When the bad wolf throws back his false exterior, the young woman usually finds out the hard way that all that glitters ain't gold!  He is mean-spirited, bitter because of a past divorce, loss of money or children, and displeased with his life choices.  The immature, young woman might be a product of his mid-life crisis, and when he realizes this, he isn't that handsome, loving, and sensitive type that she had once fallen in love with.

What is downright evil that some mature men do to unwise, young women is know full well how far they will keep them on their strings before they cut the ties.  They act like puppet masters, controlling arms, legs and whatever else they can.  Rather than encouraging her to do what she likes, pursue her dreams, he manipulates her into holding off dreams, follow him and do whatever he asks while forsaking all family and friends. 

Mature men, who don't have to be the player type, but rather controlling, plan out exactly the beginning, middle and end of their courtship with young, silly women, before pursuing what they truly want, a wise woman with a certain youthfulness about her.  They act as if everything is okay in their dating experiences with the immature as long as they keep getting what they can out of them.  But when the typical immature responses start grating on their nerves, they back off.  Rebellious, tempermental, argumentative women, who act like children, get kicked to the curb! 

Sooner or later, the immature woman notices some negative things about her older man, but doesn't catches on completely until she sees him starting to withdrawal.  Sex isn't coming as regularly, conversation is sparse/meaningless, he isn't taking her places like he once had, and sometimes she may even detect some hostility in his voice.  If she starts snooping/investigating to find out what is really going on with him, the hurtful reality is discovered, he never was into her as much as he claimed.  From photographs of other women to phone numbers, it was all a game to that mature player.  In time, the young woman learns the game of her puppet master.  The silly woman, who was once ignorant, becomes enlightened.

The tables often turn on both the selfish, mature men and their young, silly women who think they are going to "just date for fun, have a good time."  People eventually wise up.  Young women, realize there is more to dating some mature older men than meets the eye.


Nicholl McGuire

Sunday

The Temperamental Older Man Who Thinks He is Okay

His hair is thinning, belly protruding, and he isn’t excited about life. He is often irritated with others. Whether they are too talkative, noisy, happy, or active, he looks at people, even member of his own household, with a dismal expression before exploding about what someone said or did. What is it about the temperamental older man that makes older women stay away and young women want to run?

Those who love him and have taken a bit of time to do some research on his age group usually find out that his bodily changes are associated with his anger outbursts, sudden tearful moments, impatience, and other odd behaviors. Although one presents the sensitive man with proven scientific evidence about his change of life, whether he is in 40s, 50s, 0r 60s, he resents the researchers, curses loved ones and goes about his life taking risks.

Young women are warned about dating men with testosterone issues, also known as low-T, but typical of young women, they don’t heed wise counsel. They go ahead and date, have sex, produce babies, get married, and do other things that might put their safety and overall well-being at risk. If a young woman knows that she doesn‘t have the patience, time or knowledge to deal with a moody older man, it is best to stay or run away before she catches his wrath.

The longer a young woman dates and older man, her eyes begin to widen and then she starts to see what her mature relatives and friends had been warning. Unfortunately, some young women see the truth too late and are abused physically, mentally, or even spiritually. The troubled older man who attends church regularly or has a background in religion will use the Bible as a means of control. The abuser will use verbal abuse and silent treatment to get her to follow his rules. Then there is the often angry older man who threatens or strikes his victims (men/women/children/pets) whenever things don’t go his way or he doesn’t like the way someone is treating him.

Rather than get necessary help that could possibly bring his hormones in balance, the mentally disturbed man, who once demonstrated self-control in many areas of his life, plays the blame game. “It’s the job…the annoying kids…my crazy wife…my car…this money-sucking house…” Sure. How about it’s him--a man that has reached a place in his life where everything rattles his nerves. In his youth, he had challenges and got over them without saying much. He watched movies and rarely, if ever, shedded a tear. He ran, lifted heavy objects, jumped, climbed, danced, played athletic sports, and did many things without needing to sit down for long periods of time. He was able to have sex without worrying over whether a certain part of his anatomy would stay firm. He worked from sun up to sun down and ran all over time to this event and that one. Those were the good old days, but the mature gentleman’s present days could get better if he would face his reality and build his life in such a way that can accommodate the different human being that he has become. From less work hours to a daily regimen of eating right, taking necessary medicine and supplements, and scheduling time for other activities, besides watching TV or sitting in front of a computer screen, just might uplift his spirits.

Some men will allow their moods to dominate even their intimate lives, fun times with their family, and travel. They will say, “I’m not up to it. I rather not. Could we do that another time?” He exchanges good times for a room, chair and an electronic device. For some men, that is the best place for them, because if they refuse to acknowledge that they are not good people to be around, they are better left alone. For loved ones who have a person like this around them, get on with your life! Create distance if he seems to be increasingly angry over what most people wouldn’t overreact to if you feel your mental stability and safety is at risk. You will know that trouble is on the horizon when you experience the following around the moody older man: nervousness, irritability, rage, vengeful thoughts, unexplained tension, constant stomach upset, or headaches. Separate yourself from him and contact this person less. If you live with him, doesn’t matter what you have or don’t have with this person, pack your bags and leave before he hurts you or you retaliate with hurtful words and physical violence. For those spiritual, your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit so you know you don’t have to put up with abuse and don’t let those religious types tell you otherwise.

A temperamental older man is not going to change without proper treatment, he is only going to get worse! No amount of exercise or quiet meditation is going to solve an ongoing problem if he doesn’t want to get tested, listen to doctor’s advice and make necessary changes that you may have suggested as well. Stubborn men, who don’t watch all aspects of their diets including cutting out sugary drinks, maintaining reasonable portion sizes, and doing other things to better their health, rarely change. Years will go by and they will say, “I am going to do this…and I am going to do that…” They unfortunately don’t attempt to make significant changes until something major happens with their bodies, relationships, or income.

Saturday

84 Year Old Grandmother's Courtship and Marriage to Older Man

She was 16 years old when she fell in love with a friend of the family who was 34 years old.  The woman being interviewed didn't want her real name being shared, so her name will be April. 

Back in the 1930s, the young April was a mere teen who had a life ahead of her, but she got distracted with the tall, dark and handsome fellow who admired her from a distance.  She explains that he caught her eye, not only because he was so nice-looking, but also because "I wanted to leave my father's house...I was uneducated."  She had attended elementary school on and off until about the age of 13 before her mother died.  Her father, who had suddenly become a widow, went wild with the young ladies, according to April's relatives.  So April and her siblings saw a poor example of how an older man treated young women.  Relatives say he would drink, party, and have sex with them sometimes having a few at a time.  They were children watching him abuse these women and some were women of the night.

But the handsome gentleman, who had been in April's family for years, had claimed that when she was a baby, the girl would one day become his wife.  "I was still in my diapers my older relatives said when he told them that," said the 84 year old grandmother.  April was impressed with the muscular man.  "He could read and write."  This was important to women of the time, because they knew that an educated man could get a better job than most and be able to provide for his family.  April's older man was a blessing to a girl with a big heart.  She grew up in a household of 20 and the older gentleman was going to get her out of there.

April warns young women, who share their trials with her, to be careful when it comes to dating men especially older ones.  She says, "Don't trust a smiling face.  There are dangerous men in this world."  The mother of six learned the hard way.  After leaving her father's house and going to be with the family friend, the mature gentleman would marry her and then move her out of state. 

April was required to work during her marriage, because despite her husband's education, he had a strike against him--he was a black man trying to work during a time when racial dissension was present between blacks and whites.  He also was one who liked to drink and party just like April's father.  There was an obvious pattern, not only with April, but her siblings as well, most dated older men and many were cheated on.  They basically got their father all over again through the men they dated and eventually married--his good, bad, rich and poor qualities all wrapped up in one! 

April, being an uneducated black woman raising a family from the 1940s to the early 1960s, had her share of challenges as well; therefore, her options for employment were few.  Housecleaning and cooking was what she did for very low wages.  "I didn't have the opportunities back then, that young women have nowadays," April says.  There was no daycare, Internet, an abundance of programs to help the needy, and many households didn't have televisions.  April grew up poor, married into poverty, and then later acquired her personal wealth after her children became adults.

"This is why I tell young people to get an education, so that they don't have to settle for less,"  April advises.  She tells women to put off marriage and having children until you have accomplished personal goals.  There were times in her life she admits, she cried because of the poor decisions she made in life.

The man who had swept her off her feet and had given her so much happiness and promises, eventually caused her much upset to the point that she couldn't focus on anything she truly wanted to do.  "He was abusive--a bastard!  But my stupid self, loved him!"  She pauses and then adds, "I asked myself, why do I love this man?"  Long after her husband's passing, April admits that she still loves him.  For years, April said that she attended church while choosing to remain in the abusive relationship for the sake of her children.  She says that it was her faith in God that got her through many turbulent times.

But love doesn't verbally abuse or physically fight and two of April's own children wanted their father gone from the house, one even threatened to shoot his dad for beating up his mother.  April was well aware that love doesn't hurt, but she was also fearful about leaving.  There were times when she and her children did stay with relatives until her husband cooled down.

Nowadays, the 84 year old grandmother listens to young women's relationship plights and prays for them who labor to love their abusive mates while advising they get away.  April blames her lack on why she settled.  After decades of being cheated on, that handsome man who attracted many women both young and old met his fate.  April shares that her abuser was burned to death in a house fire.  "He moved out of our family home and got his own place in an apartment building where he lived for a time," April solemnly explains.  "My husband called me the night before and asked if we could get back together.  I told him I would have to pray about it.  The next day I heard that he had died in a fire."  April admits her faith was shook and cautions don't pray if you don't want an answer.

After the death of her husband back in the 70s, April says that "I could never love another man."  When asked why, she said, "I was afraid that if I got close to one, I might kill him if he treated me the way my husband had."  There were nice men that she courted (dated); however, she could recognize the signs that she couldn't be with them.  Some of those red flags were:

1.  Attempts to tell her how to parent her children while barely getting to know her.

2.  Visiting only when convenient because an individual was married.

3.  Lying about one's true intentions such as saying he wanted friendship when he really wanted sex.

4.  Using threats and pressure to get her to commit.

5.  Buying her gifts and bringing money to secure a place in her life even when she was no longer romantically interested in her gentleman suitor.

April shares that when a man makes you feel like less than a woman such as often acting rudely, jealous, or bitter, stop dating him.  When you feel like you have to report your every move to him, don't.  If the older man doesn't appreciate what you are doing for him, stop giving him sex, visiting him, or whatever else you are doing.  April adds, "Don't be a fool!"

Nicholl McGuire is the author of the following books:

Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic https://www.createspace.com/3437273
When Mothers Cry https://www.createspace.com/3393499
Laboring to Love Myself https://www.createspace.com/3401526
Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate https://www.createspace.com/3332346
Floral Beauty on a Dead End Street http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/904839
Spiritual Poems By Nicholl http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/3113926

Unwanted Flirtation: What Would You Do?


Tuesday

How to Keep a Young Woman Interested in You and Not Your Flaws

When one is mature seeking a youthful lady, he has to know that in order to keep her interest, he must have some things about him that keep her coming back for more other than the typical large financial portfolio, sex, and impressive toys that other rich gentleman suitors have. A wise younger woman is going to look the other way after a few dates when she starts to see those flaws that tend to show up out of nowhere with some older men. For instance, he typically dyes his hair, but after a few dates he advertises his grays for the world to see. He might even trade a nice dress shirt for a boring, old tee-shirt.

What does the premature display of the real you say to this young woman who may still consider you a stranger? “He’s a great actor. I didn’t realize just how old he really is until he showed up with that 1970’s wardrobe with his white hair sprouting everywhere!” A young woman can have a short attention span especially for an older man who stands before her looking dull and tired. Face it, some men have to work harder than others to keep a woman happy.

1. Communicate your strengths.

You might not be active like most men, but you are smarter than many of them. Put your intelligence to work and help that young woman improve herself physically, mentally and spiritually when the opportune time comes. She just might say, “I was thinking, maybe you could help me with…” Jump at the opportunity by sharing what you know about her concerns and how might she be able to solve them.

2. Focus on your accomplishments and how they have helped others.

What is it about you that impresses most men and women that know you? You might be lacking in looks, but you might have a long list of awards for your generosity, gifts for helping others, business achievements, and more. Share what drives you to be the best you can be. She just might overlook those imperfections that others would run from.

3. Ask her about her goals, dreams and desires.

Young women like to talk about themselves, so encourage her to do so. This might make you stand out from those other guys because she you are sincerely interested in hearing what she has to say. Once again, look for opportunities to help her achieve her dreams.

4. Take care of yourself.

Men who do things to improve their appearances are a draw for many women. A man who doesn’t smoke, maintains his body weight, and smells good has a better chance at meeting and keeping a woman than a man who does the total opposite.

5. Point out obvious issues before she does, and mention what you are doing to try to fix them.

Women have flaws just like men, but when they are noticeable, many will explain the who, what, when, where, why, and how of them all. When men share their war stories, they just might get a sympathetic ear and someone who will get a little closer to them depending on the story. So if you know you can’t hide your issue like a large scar across your left cheek, talk about it, but don’t say so much that it makes her scared, worried, or concerned for her life.

6. Share a few past failures, but mention how you managed to move on with your life.

It is better that she hears about your past then from the neighborhood, so if you did some things that she just might find out about if she were to conduct a background check, let her know. However, include what you are doing differently now and how you resolved past issues.

7. Mention the people and things you do that keep you motivated.

Are there some people who could vouch for how good of a man you truly are? In time, you will want to use them to help your date reach a decision on whether you are good for her or not. Some single women might not be completely convinced about dating certain men due to one flaw or another, but then along comes the single man’s mom and sister bragging about their loved one and now a date, who was once in doubt, is ready to commit.

When a young woman notices your flaws, don’t hide, worry, or think the worse, just do your best to explain, but not so much that she desires to go elsewhere. Know what impresses your date and stick to those things that keep her interested in you and not your flaws.


Nicholl McGuire is the author of the following books:
Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic https://www.createspace.com/3437273
When Mothers Cry https://www.createspace.com/3393499
Laboring to Love Myself https://www.createspace.com/3401526
Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate https://www.createspace.com/3332346
Floral Beauty on a Dead End Street http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/904839
Spiritual Poems By Nicholl http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/3113926

Friday

Benefits of Dating Older Men


When All the Older Gentleman Wants is a Companion

With so many articles and videos talking about older men wanting nothing more than sex from young women, it can be a challenge to think any differently. But there are rich, as well as poor men, who aren’t interested in sex as much as they use to, simply put, they are all sexed out (at least temporarily that is). What might a young woman offer a gentleman besides sex?

Communication

A young woman and an older man who are on the go often, meeting people, volunteering, working, and just living a full life will have a bunch of stories to tell. They will enjoy long talks at places they like to frequent. They will share knowledge of some sites they might want to visit one day together. There is a lot to do and a woman who likes to communicate and travel is a great catch for an older man who still very much has a lot of life in him!

Friendship

When one has lived a life of strife, it is hard to come by good friends. Sometimes the only friend that one has is his or herself. Quality friendship is something that most people desire. No matter how many riches a man has, he will most likely want the company of a woman who can keep a secret, respect him, provide assistance in times of need, and hopefully love him for who he is and not just what he can give her. A young lady who truly knows what it means to be a good friend will be one of the lucky ones to land a nice, generous, older man one day!

Physical Touch without the Sex

Believe it or not, back when you were in high school, you didn’t have sex with everyone you met, you actually had friendships where the only thing you did was hold hands and hug. There are still many people in this world who love one another but have a lack of interest in sex due to a number of mental and body health issues. So hand-holding is good, a hug better, and a soft kiss is the best for some May-December relationships.

Consider looking beyond what many expect will occur between an older man and a younger woman dating; instead, find ways to build on the romance, appreciate one another, learn, and grow in this ever-changing world together!

Nicholl McGuire

Thursday

Dr. Steven Jepson discusses Andropause


Why Some Young Classy Women Won't Date Older Men Again

For some young women, they have already experienced dating older men and prefer not to do it again for a number of reasons.  Some of which are obvious and others not so much. 

An older man who is pushy about getting a young, classy woman to date him isn't always going to win in the end, if anything, he just might prove a negative viewpoint or two that a bitter young woman has about him.  So when an older man sees the writing on the wall, "She's not interested," keep it moving!

1.  She no longer finds dating older men interesting.

Maybe it was at one time fun for her, but as she grows older she realizes that dating a man simply for curiousity sake and what he can do for her is simply not right or good enough.  She desires more for herself.

2.  She is not attracted to the way men double, even triple her age, looks.

At one point, she could look past the gray hairs, age marks, and wrinkles, but now she prefers to look at someone with less flaws.

3.  She is doing quite well in life without an older man.

When she was struggling, she didn't mind having an older man or two around, but now that she is doing well, she is fine without them.

4.  She finally started listening to family and friends about not dating mature men.

Her loved ones told her that she shouldn't be dating older men and what if she wants a family one day.  They convinced her that she was "classy, better, smarter, more active than her old boyfriends, have years of growth and opportunity while they will settle down and one day die..."and whatever else they said to her to cause her to lose interest in older men.

5.  She has been burned far too many times to keep taking chances dating older men.

From young guys to old ones, she has just grown weary of drama and would prefer to stop dating awhile.  But when she returns to the scene, she rather take her chances with someone her own age with less issues.

6.  She feels like they want to dominate her--keep her in the house.

After having been watched and guarded like an animal, a young woman wants to be free of some older men's strict ways and control.  Despite not all mature men being this way, she doesn't want to risk her freedom being with the insecure, jealous type yet again.

7.  She finds most mature men boring, not on her level spiritually, physically and or mentally.

A man with a lot of unresolved issues will negatively impact a young woman who is positive and happy about life.  Some young women just lose interest in men (young or old) that retard their growth in becoming a strong, independent woman that they want to be.

Mature men, when you specifically know why a younger woman might not be interested in you any longer, you use what you know, and work hard to be more attractive to other young women who just might be willing to date you.  Don't pursue young women who have made it plain, "I don't like you."  Even if you are a success at winning her to you, it doesn't mean that she will remain with you for all the right reasons.  You just might be a temporary fix for her until someone better comes along. 

Step back from your conquests for a time and ask yourself the following:  Do you find that you are overbearing, suffocating, or seek to dominate young women?  What have they said about you in anger?  Have you taken care of your past business with other partners or are you still somehow connected to them?  Are you the type who likes to play mind games with young women rather than take them seriously?  Is there something about the way you look, talk, or dress that turns women off?

Until an older man can honestly look at his flaws, he will not find a young partner suitable for him that would be willing to stay in his life while being that sweetheart he so desires. 

Take care of your issues--whatever they might be before thinking about dating a classy young lady.

Nicholl McGuire

Wednesday

Lies of the Broke, Busted and Disgusted: The So-Called Rich Older Man

A gorgeous young woman and an older, (not-so attractive) possibly rich, man strike up a conversation. 

The young woman tosses back her hair and finds the older man funny, unique, she likes what she hears. As for the older man, he likes what he sees.  For weeks, the two exchange laughs and eventually numbers.  As their friendship grows, the older man shares details about his successes in life and future plans to relocate, buy a bigger house, and share his wealth with someone special.  Music to the potential sweetheart's ears whose eyes seek gold.  The gullible woman, who doesn't have much experience dating men young or old, believes almost everything the so-called well-to-do businessman says--that is until she notices the older man's present life isn't necessarily reflecting all the riches and glories he talks about.

The supposedly rich man's wallet is often empty.  His clothes a bit worn and his shoes don't shine.  He rarely goes anywhere, but home after work and even his work hours aren't always consistent.  Car trouble is frequent and sometimes the rich man's cell phone number is off, yet the young woman doesn't think too much about it.   She shakes off those little details, because "they don't mean anything, there are plenty of men that don't dress up and don't carry cash--no big deal," she convinces herself.  But stories aren't adding up and witnesses don't believe the hype, yet she continues to have faith in her rich, old friend.

This observant young woman's concerns begin to increase.  Puzzled by her braggart rich guy, the recent college graduate starts to question his lifestyle.  Feeling like he might lose his friendship with the nice young lady who is so very helpful to him, the old man has to embellish a few stories, so he starts talking about "When I get my money from an investment I made some years back, I will do for you...When I receive my settlement check from...I will help you....If everything goes well with this upcoming deal, I will share some money with you..."  So the starry-eyed young female perks up and waits and waits and waits for the manipulative older man to make good on his promises.  But nothing happens.

Some of you men and women reading this may have experienced something like the previous story or you heard about someone in a situation like this.  It is sad to say the least.  A lonely, desperate man who doesn't want a lovely lady to slip through his hands will say just about anything to keep her near.  Meanwhile, the vibrant young woman will put off the fact that she isn't the least bit attracted to the poor man posing as a rich man, but his promises of a financially secure future sound good to her ears.  When she begins to experience jilted feelings, especially after giving her sexy body to a man who should have never laid eyes on it, she starts looking visibly irritated with him whenever he comes around, and she just might argue with him about almost anything.  The frustration of "...not having," "...putting up with," and "What more can I take from this man?" types of emotions begin to drive the bitter woman crazy.  She yells out one day, "I thought you said you would help me with..."  The once charming man worried that he might have to defend himself from his girlfriend's flailing arms, yells back,  "I told you I would help you, now stop talking about it!  And besides you need to be patient, because I really don't have to give you anything!"  Uh oh, this old man better run for the door!  Weeks and weeks of hoping, wishing, and waiting on something based on promises from an older person, the young woman becomes increasingly disrespectful.  She begins to think, "How might I get rid of this nusiance that is doing nothing more than bringing me down?  I have a life to live!  I am still young, I don't need this old loser!" 

Unlike the young woman in that story, a discerning youthful woman won't fall for such traps set by sneaky, lustful, old, poor men.  Rather than entertain them, she tells herself, "They are too old for me.  I don't want anything to do with old men."  She most likely has been schooled by old players on the games that some of these foolish men play to get between her legs.  Side note:  If you are a father, are you teaching your daughter on the pros and cons of dating older men? 

Both rich and poor men lie.  But a poor man who plans to capitalize off a young woman who can barely keep a savings account is pathetic!  And a young woman who holds on to a broke, unattractive old man she could care less about in the hopes that he will bless her bank account is equally pathetic!  There is no love between these two no matter what they say and who knows them, both are using one another until one day one or both of them wake up to the truth.

"So you were never getting any money, were you, old man?"
"No, I'm sorry."
"I knew you were lying to me!  Why do I always fall for your type?"
"Oh, stop it!  You never loved me anyway, little girl."

Nope, she never did.  Rather, she was in love with his promise and he was in lust with her beauty.

Nicholl McGuire

Tuesday

Humor: How To Land An Older Man



A funny video that for some women and men is all too true!  Save the act young ladies and just be yourself!

The Older He Gets, The More He Forgets! The 60+ Mature Man

From observing the older men in my life, I noticed that many of them 60+ start to forget things.  Wives and girlfriends have to scurry around their homes, check the car, and look here and there for missing things.  Sometimes there is much tension in the air, because it has been the third time this week that one's beau has misplaced car keys, wallet and cell phone.  "Now where did I put my things?"  the 60+ male says with frustration in his voice.

Let's face it, the aging process is inevitable whether one likes it or not!  Sometimes it comes slowly for some middle-aged men and women and quickly for others based on one's stress levels and overall health.  There are rich, older men who attempt to spend the most money on the best items for hair, skin, nails, body, and more, because the thought of their bodies breaking down one day scares them.  Then there are some mature men who simply don't care what happens, they personally believe, like fine wine, they get better with age.  Whatever one's perspective on getting older, there will be those days that one will be looking and acting his age like the forgetful guy who misplaces his valuables.  Unfortunately, some younger women suddenly realize (after much love, affection, and money has been invested into them) that observing their mates getting older isn't something that they can handle and so off they go.

Do you know if you, being a younger woman or older man, have the patience to endure an active youth or an aging adult?  Can the younger woman sit back and observe her older man go through his middle years without running for the door every time he reaches a new milestone in his life and vice versa?  Maybe the older man, back when he was in his 40s, was fun to be around, but then when 50+ came along someone else showed up, what is she going to do now?  Dating someone older isn't for everyone and if some things are just too much, too soon, then slow down and think about what your future with your younger or older partner might look like. 

Some older women can attest to dating men their own age and becoming easily irritated with them, because some of their behaviors remind them that they too are aging.  They will admit that it isn't always easy dealing with a man who isn't happy or comfortable with getting older.

The younger woman must recognize that when her mature man forgets what she has told him, where he placed something, or how to get from Point A to Point B, that his issue of forgetfulness might be simple or complex depending on one's family history, health condition, and other factors, but don't take it personal!  Encourage your boyfriend/husband to get a check up.  Notice what he is eating and not eating and whether or not he is staying fit--a downward decline of one's health will affect the mind in the long term.  Think of how some people in your own family let themselves go over the years. 

Despite yet another challenge in this May-December relationship, for the ladies, try to be sweet to him and remind your fellow old soul that you love, admire and appreciate him.  And for the mature men, be real with yourself, you are getting older and with aging comes change, no sense in fighting about it, so you forgot where you took off your underwear for the umpteenth time, it doesn't mean you have Alzheimer's or does it?  Stay up on your health!

Nicholl McGuire

Monday

When the Only Thing a Sugar Daddy Has Going for Him Is He's Rich

Let's face it, some sugar daddies just aren't easy on the eyes and don't necessarily have a gift for entertaining a pretty young woman, you might be one of them.  So with that, there are some things that you will need to do to boost your strengths and downplay your weaknesses.

1.  Take care of yourself.

Far too many older men let themselves go.  The young woman looks at that nice photograph from yesteryear and dreams of having met you in your youth.  Before you go showing off those past photos, in an attempt to win her over with your past beauty, try keeping her interested in the modern day you.  Watch eating things that help pack on pounds around your mid-section.  Don't ignore health issues.  For instance, visit your doctor and dentist and share your concerns with them.  Trim your hair (dye it or upgrade it), cut your toe nails, and get unsightly things removed or changed where applicable.  Why permit yourself to go downhill just because you have reached a certain age?

2.  Be polite and considerate.

Sweet, inspirational, and loving responses and phrases used to keep a young woman interested in you go a long way--this is what puts the "Sugar" in Daddy!  Before long, she is forgetting about you being short, overweight, gray, and wrinkled.  Write your thoughts, speak your feelings, or buy a book, artwork, keepsake, or card that comes from the heart. 

3.  Look for opportunities to do kind deeds.

There are selfish, miserable rich older and younger men who simply don't have the time, patience, or know-how when it comes to having a quality relationship with women.  There are so many ways to show your appreciation and admiration of your younger partner.  Think of things she likes, needs, and hopes for and try to help her in whatever way you can.  From small tokens that make her life easier to help with paying bills, the fact still remains that some older, unattractive men get all the nice-looking ladies because they are good listeners and generous.

4.  Explain noticeable flaws.

Some flaws simply can't be hidden; therefore when she questions, "What is that?  How did that happen?  Why do you act that way?"  Be prepared to speak truth, but don't share so much information that she becomes fearful, worried, or start to wonder if she can catch what you got.  For example, if you really like your date and desire to be with her exclusively, be open to talking about things like an incurable sexually transmitted disease--don't fail to mention it, and always remember to protect yourself and your partner.

5.  Show much interest in your young partner's world.

Competition is fierce when it comes to dating a very attractive woman, so an unattractive man must stand out from the crowd by paying his young partner more attention than most men.  He has to genuinely care about her and be willing to offer her the kind of love and appreciation that touches her soul.

Keep in mind there are young women who will look pass your flaws when they can see your inner strengths manifest externally.  Do what you can to improve your self physically, mentally and spiritually.

Wednesday

5 Younger Women Woes

So what exactly goes through a mind of a young woman with a bright future ahead of her?  A lot!  She wants it all!  A life of happiness, joy, love, and money.  But all too often, her dreams are dashed by a bad breakup, an unexpected pregnancy, student loan debt, and unresolved issues with parents.  Oh yes, there is much to be expected when dating a young woman who is seemingly intelligent with a job and a couple of hobbies for her mental release.

Young women have their share of concerns like an older man, and their issues are not all heartfelt, deep, and mysterious.

1.  She is concerned about her looks and sometimes worry about what she will look like when she gets older.

From makeup to clothes, even if she isn't drop-deap gorgeous and high maintenance, she is interested in self improvement.  She wants nice things and she doesn't want to feel guilty or angry at her partner about buying them either.  Most likely, she has been told, "You won't be young forever!"

2.  She cares immensely for family and friends (that is if certain ones haven't been that bad.)  When she wants to talk to and see her loved ones, she will go to great lengths to do just that even complaining on the way to her parent's home.  But if they have treated her or others wrongly often, she has little, if any, time for them or her partner's people.

3.  She desires a relationship and possibly children one day, but she doesn't want to be pressured into having or not having them by a certain age.  If she is still very much concerned about her looks and personal needs, why would she want to make a conscientious sacrifice to have children because someone else wants them?  One way an independent woman, who is energetic, people-loving, and career-driven will settle with a husband and have children in her twenties, is if she slips on the birth control.  And if this happens, be prepared for a myriad of emotions (happy, sad, depressed, angry, insensitive, rude, impatient, etc.)  Most young women don't want to settle down before they are ready. (See When Mothers Cry http://whenmotherscry.blogspot.com)

4.  She hopes to have enough money to maintain a decent living, so she isn't happy until she finds that her career choice is paying off and she has some help that will make her life easier.

If a young woman has settled in the past with someone who was more of a burden than a blessing, she will most likely avoid being in a relationship with someone who wants her to abandon her career while he saves money toward his future.

5.  She has no need for religion in good times, but when in bad, she looks for the nearest church, relative or friend to help her through challenging times.

Most young women are not diehard believers in any faith.  They know of a Creator or choose not to believe in one; but rather look to themselves for answers.  But when things go wrong, lots of things, these women will run to people, who they feel like they can trust, to help them make sense of challenging times.  Some will become overzealous at first, but gradually die down when they first join a group.  Others will move on to something else if they can't experience the peace they have hoped for.  While others will become bitter if they have been mistreated in anyway by faith leaders and their members and may become easily offended and argumentative if one attempts to share his or her beliefs.

Of course, there are more younger women woes, but these are the common ones that tend to show up in various conversations, on tee-shirts in slogans or pictures, in magazines that she reads and movies that she watches, and wall hangings--Beauty, Friendship, Romance, Money, and Faith--if you can touch her soul and lifestyle, you just might have a friend for life!

Nicholl McGuire  is the author of When Mothers Cry, a book for people interested in reading about the challenges of motherhood and how to solve some dilemmas when it comes to relationships, parenting, grandparents, in-laws, and more.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...