Tuesday

What to Expect When Joining Rich Men Dating Sites

You may be a newbie when it comes to using dating sites.  If so, be prepared before you register and know that the following information is typical of most sites.  You might pay a monthly charge, you will be required to submit a photo, and most of all people will want to meet you--some sooner, others later.  Know what to expect before you join a rich men dating site.

1.  Fees

Registration is typically free, but then there is a monthly fee that may be charged later for service.  Find out what that fee is upfront and check the site for ways to discontinue service once you have met your match.  "What the!?  I didn't know your company charged me that much!  I wasn't even on the site that long...get this &^%$# off my credit card!"  You don't want to be that guy or gal in the future, so read the terms, don't scroll, read!

2.  Write a profile

Know yourself and what you like and don't like.  Create a brief introduction of who you are and what you are looking for.  But don't list so many of your likes and dislikes that it makes future dates cringe.  Write how you speak.  Let your profile be a good representation of who you are.  This way a future date can get a good idea what he or she might be getting his or herself into dating you.  "So this is why his last relationship didn't work," the hot twenty-something buxom blond ponders.

3.  Upload pictures

Take the time to have photos taken that show not only your face, but your body, hair and teeth too.  Permit people to see your flaws (like a mark on your chin); rather than surprising them later with it.  "Hey Jenny, I didn't tell you, my eye is fake, see!" Her date removes it from his eye socket.  "Oh my God!" Jenny screams.

4.  Chat

Take the time to ask meaningful questions.  Compliment people when they are saying something you like.  Express your opinion in a respectful manner when you don't agree with members.  "I really think what you said was very inspiring, I would very much like to discuss more over dinner..."  He shoots, he scores!

5.  Videos

Attach videos where applicable that show off your personality.  Be yourself not an A-list actor--even they have their bad days.  Ever see one without his or her makeup, tummy tuck suit, and fake hair?  Ugh!

6.  Instant messaging

Many sites will permit members to send messages in real time.  You may be bombarded with messages if you visit multiple member profiles the next day.  So if you don't want people to chat with you almost immediately when you log on, turn off your notifications.  What's with all the bells ringing and text boxes, how did they know I was checking them out last night!? the new member complains.

7.  Search engine features

Some sites have many features including the ability to search for detailed specifics.  So if you are looking for someone tall, dark and handsome, list the ethnicity, measurement, and something about one's hair or eye color to see what comes up.  Years ago I searched for white men, and I got two black men come up--huh!?  I married one of those guys--the black one who wasn't the starving actor.

8.  Forums

There are sections of a dating site that will allow you to express your opinion of the site, share information with other members, and more.  Do take advantage of those forums and who knows, you might find a love interest in one.  Hopefully, he or she isn't pretending to be a woman or a man--scary!  

9.  Questions from available singles about everything from your favorite color to are you a virgin might come up.

Expect members to ask you to share much about yourself.  Be honest, but don't reveal so much about yourself so soon that you end up with an on or offline stalker.  Keep record of all texts, emails and other notes that appear strange, weird, or written from a wannabe disciple of Christ or Satan looking for his or her future recruit.

10.  Requests for contact information, a meeting in person, and even help with the bills might happen.

At some point, someone who is interested in dating you will want to contact you and see you in person.  Be prepared for any and all requests.  Know how you will respond without running the person away.  "What do you take me for, your daddy?  I'm not giving you s^&*!" Yes, people will say things online rather harshly especially if they are having a bad day with the mother or father of the children you know nothing about--at least not yet.

Most rich men dating sites are reputable, but sometimes there are a few that are nothing more than rip-offs.  If you are serious about meeting your future partner through a rich man dating site, be sure to learn as much as you can about the site and the members that interest you.  Dedicate time to writing and talking to the people you meet online.  If you have no time online to share who you are, what makes you different than the rest etc., your potential dates will assume you will have no time for them in the future. 

Nicholl McGure is the author of Floral Beauty on a Dead End Street and other books.  Feel free to show your support by purchasing one of my many books at Blurb.com or Amazon.com

Wednesday

He's Older, She's Younger and They Don't Like It

In the past, I have written about relatives, friends and strangers not liking or agreeing with older men dating younger women.  I would like to mention that Christians know better not to pass judgment on this type of relationship considering the men who married younger women in the Bible ie.) Boaz and Ruth.  But the reality is, that dating older/dating younger is happening.  We just can't put an age limit on two consenting adults falling in love and starting a family with one another, so why try?

For some people, they don't like the way it looks.  "He looks like her dad with all his gray hair...look at her she looks like his daughter...what does he see in her--what does she want with someone that old?" critics say.

If we were to look at their relationships, (you know those who think their choices are best in mates), behind closed doors, I'm sure we wouldn't like what we saw either!  So what, a couple is close in age and possibly attractive, but what are they really bringing one another to the table?  One might be obese and the other skinny.  Another might have the woman as a breadwinner while her man is poor.  One is educated and the other not-so-much.  Yet, the critics don't say too much of anything, because usually they are in the same boat.   

Many relationships suffer because people are too concerned about looks and material wealth and less concern about spiritual connectedness, love, respect, and appreciation.  If your heart is in love and your mate just so happens to be younger or older, you have every right explore whether that person is right for you.

Black, white, rich, poor, ugly or beautiful, whatever or whoever he or she is, remember you have your preference and the world has theirs.  I would have to challenge some readers to ask, "What is your Creator telling you about this person?  Have you bothered to pray?" 

Couples dating older and younger should be prepared for critics not agreeing or liking their selection in a mate, but one doesn't have to defend it no more than one who is dating someone obese, from a different culture, or short. 

We are living in a world of judges, notice the many reality shows that love to judge this person and that one on what they can and can't do.  Therefore, there will be people in and out of one's circle who will judge.  It is up to you and your partner to decide whether you want to keep these people around.  You don't want to include people in your world that will not support it.  If you do, you will find that negative comments, attitudes, and lack of support will rub off on you in time.  As a result, you may start to doubt, question or even argue with your mate about things that are irrelevant to the success of the relationship.

Know for sure that dating someone older or younger is something you want to do long-term.  One day you might want to marry.  As much as couples like putting off marriage, someone whose clock is ticking is going to want to get married one day; and encouraging a partner to stop and think about it after year one, year two, and so on will begin to look manipulative and selfish.  If you don't want to marry, permit the young woman or older man to be with someone who is willing to get married.  Those outside of the relationship who don't necessarily agree with the age-gap relationship will love to chime in on why you shouldn't get married and ought to wait. 

Shut out the voices and know what you and your partner wants!

Nicholl McGuire
View other blogs Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate: http://laboringtoloveanabusivemate.blogspot.com
When Mothers Cry http://whenmotherscry.blogspot.com
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