Monday

Dating Older, Dating Younger: What Do You Sincerely Want in a Relationship?

Whether she is looking for the wealthy professional long-term or he is seeking an attractive, young woman to be intimate with for the short term, the two must communicate their intentions or otherwise someone or both will have a rocky road to climb that just might leave the pair very weary and bitter with one another in the end.

People get involved in relationships for any number of reasons whether the church, parents, or government agrees or not.  Some couples connect for reasons that are obvious and have been publicly shared without shame while others not so much.  What is in darkness does come out into the light eventually, so one must be honest about his or her intent when dating a young woman or older man.

Take a moment to think about why a mature man seeks after a young lady in search of a Sugar Daddy or why a young, educated woman appears to act very interested in a rich, unattractive gentleman?  In these examples, these people have specific needs and believe their encounters with one another will meet them.  No matter the relationship, background, creed, religion, ethnicity, someone has learned of some benefit when one dates the other that he or she may or may not know about.  The rumor, stereotype, or "word on the street" might be true about one's love interest, but maybe not. 

It takes time to get to know people, but unfortunately far too many people are connecting on the Internet believing that they have found a special someone that will complete them only to be disappointed in the end.  Quality relationships aren't built through good communication alone!  You can express how you feel until you are blue in the face through email, text, and in-person discussion, but if a person isn't much interested in you, other than what you can do for him or her, you just won't be able to make them stay in a serious relationship that they may have never wanted in the first place.

To date one older can be a great experience with the right attitude and a mindset that can look beyond the aging process.  It is inevitable, people will get older.  When one chooses to date younger, he or she must recognize that there is still much a youthful partner doesn't know about life; therefore, much patience is required.  Personality differences will get in the way if one doesn't recognize that relationships are built on working together and not apart.  Sometimes one will have to set aside his or her preferences/interests/way of life for another.  One who is more concerned about "playing" is not interested in compromise.

Be sure you know what type of relationship you want with your younger or older mate.  There are open relationships, secretive ones, wild ones, committed ones, and more.  Be honest about who you are such as:  what you want, the past, present, and future if you want a relationship built on a solid foundation, but if you aren't seeking anything serious--save your best for the one who you really want in the future.  Establish boundaries when dating and avoid the temptation to do the kind of things that would bring shame on you and your family.  Most of all, be certain that dating young or older is what you sincerely want.

Nicholl McGuire author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate and When Mothers Cry.

Thursday

How Do You Know When You Are Dating Someone Who is Too Young?

Some older men just might need a wake up call when it comes to dating young women.  There are laws in the land on dating women young enough to be one's daughter twice for good reason!

1.  You know your girlfriend's too young when every other word that comes out of her mouth during a conversation is "Like," "You know" or "Cool."

2.  She's too young for you when she is asking you, "Now where is it that you like to shop again?  My grandfather likes going there too!"

3.  She just isn't old enough for you when she is enjoying your children more than you.  "Hey, let's play another game, your dad is boring!"

4.  She lies about her age (sometimes by applying heavy makeup) just so that people will stop staring when you both are out together, yet they keep right on looking any way.  You can't hide the truth!

5.  She is just a baby when she asks a lot, "What do you think?  How do you feel?  Do you think I should?"

6.  She is far too young, when a relative threatens to call the police if they see you coming around her again.

No girl/woman is worth losing your freedom or your life, jump ship while you still have time!

Nicholl McGuire

Wednesday

How Old is Too Old When Dating an Older Man?

Could you use a bit of sense of humor today?  Here's how you know when you are dating someone way too old for you!

1.  He repeats the same story at least three times or more in a conversation that is less than an hour long.

2.  He confuses you with a young lady he dated back when he was a youngster.  When you correct him on calling you by the wrong name, he says, "I'm sorry I didn't recognize you, let me go get my glasses."

3.  He is too old when he misses the toilet when he goes to the bathroom.

4.  If he often complains about his back, neck, head and any other part of his anatomy before sex, during or after--take a clue, he's too d*mn old!

5.  When he says things like, "When I was your age...You are so young...What do you want an old geezer like me for?"

6.  He's too old when you constantly smell something old coming from his body!  Be careful that smell might rub off on you!

7.  You have yourself a real old guy when he starts reflecting back to a time when he only paid cents for something.

8.  He tells you that your old enough to be his granddaughter.

9.  When everything you touch on him is soft and he seems to be shrinking everywhere except for his ears and nose--they appear as if they are growing monthly!

10.  He is definitely too old when your grandmother tries to hit on him!


Nicholl McGuire

Tuesday

Young Woman Beat a Man at his Own Game - Know Some of the Rules He Uses to Play You

A young woman who has a loving family that is concerned about her dating an older man, needs to know that some men will play "mind" games until they get whatever it is that they are after. 

There are older men who not only come after sex, but money, a place to stay, a car, and whatever else a gullible naive, young woman desperate for attention will put out.  The following link puts some things into perspective, read how this blogger advises older men treat twenty-something young ladies based on their maturity level. 

If you have detected some put-off behavior with your older or maybe even a younger mate, you might be on to the game. 

Notice the players mentality and avoid it.  The molding/training that some men use to get women to fall in love, even act crazy, over them is sinful, to say the least.  See here:  Top Two Rules For Dating Younger Women: http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2008/02/07/top-two-rules-for-dating-younger-women/  Then read the comments afterward.

Age Gap Dating - Dating Younger Women, Dating Older Men Tips

Are you serious about your older or younger partner?  If so, you might want to click around this blog and others to test yourself on some issues that may or may not come up.  Everything from health issues to parents not liking an older partner will come up and you best prepared.  It isn't easy dating older or younger especially when you have children, a lack of money/resources, unsupportive men and women around you, and a partner that isn't completely convinced that you are his One and vice versa.  The following are some sites that have posted some interesting reading material about May-December romances.  Enjoy!

Meet a Millionaire

Younger Women Dating Older Men May Not Forsee the Consequences

Is an Older Man Dating a Younger Woman Acceptable?

Older Men and Younger Women: Gross, Natural, or Something In-Between?








Annoying Things Between Couples with Age Differences

If you didn't like your young date's annoying favorite song the other day, chances are many in your age group don't like it either.  If you have an old guy who is a worry wart and reminds you of a protective father, most likely their are many young ladies in similar relationships who feel the same way.

There are annoying things that arise in May-December relationships that can be a tad bit bothersome or so bad to the point that you just want to end it all.  But before you do some thing that you might later regret, think about some alternative ways to deal with those irritating issues.

Annoying music

Different generations, sometimes enjoy listening to different music genres--nothing wrong with that.  So if your young partner's music is like nails on a chalkboard to you, then give your date some quality earphones and a player for all his or her favorite music while explaining how you feel.  If you are in the car, you might not have any choice but deal with it unless your date doesn't mind using the ear phones for the trip.  But family areas of one's home should be restricted especially when one needs some peace and quiet.  It wouldn't be nice or respectful to play annoying music in the bedroom or in the living room loudly particularly when someone has indicated they simply don't like it, but selfish people will do just that.

Terrible tasting food

Sorry, but everyone just can't cook.  What some might think is their signature dish could be making a date sick.  If there has been repeated disinterest in your cooking or your partner's, make every effort to keep uncomfortable cooking situations at bay, get a professional to prepare it.

Electronic gadget fiddling

If he's not clicking the television remote, she is clicking away at her phone.  The couple may leave little free time to enjoy one another.  If the electronic use is really getting to you, try not using it during the times when you both would like to spend some quality time.

Different bed times

She might be a night owl and he might be an early riser or vice versa.  The difference in bed schedule can really get next to you, so it would make sense to talk and make necessary adjustments.

Appearance/Style of dress

It may bother a mature man dating a young woman who dressed stylish and conservative at least in the beginning of the relationship, but now she wants to look more like a teenager.  The young woman may hate the way her older guy dresses whether to old or way too young.  But whatever the issue with appearance, it can grate on one's nerves particularly when a date is starting to lose interest in his or her mate.  In the best interest of the relationship, listen to your partner, if nothing more.  If the requests are ridiculous, seem very controlling, and you actually look worse than better, there may be some issues that your partner is having that go beyond the surface of just suggesting something that looks better on you.

Tradition versus non-tradition

Not everyone is into the holidays, family meals, holiday church attendance, and Christmas songs,  when a partner has shared in a nice way or less nice and more emotional about not liking the traditional family get-togethers for one reason or another.  Take heed.  If you love tradition, go by yourself, who cares what they say.  If your partner is more interested in peace and quiet around holiday time, respect his or her wishes.  Holiday time is stressful enough without the added pressure of "Let's go to moms for Thanksgiving!" (sigh)

The previous mentioned irritation just skim the surface of grievances couples have when there is an age difference.  Of course, not every couple goes through these things and many couples who are close in age have problems, but the key is to address each concern, reach a compromise, and leave the yelling, slamming doors, and silent treatment out of the relationship if you claim to care and love a partner so much!

Nicholl McGuire, see other work by this author here.

Sunday

Are You Really Okay with Your Partner Dating Other People?

Some dates simply don't care what their mates do apart from them.  Couples will enter into mutual agreements where one is married, yet he or she has additional men or women they are having sex, attending events together and doing whatever else they like.  Others will exclusively date for a time until one or both get the bright idea to permit an additional person to enter their relationship.  Whether you agree with this sort of arrangement or not, it exists and some readers just might be their date's Girlfriend #2, 3 or even 4!  Young women will also play the field as well. Some will persuade their older boyfriends to go along with the program when found out.  Then of course, some people are so open and honest about their intentions, you can't help but stand still with your mouth wide open, "You want me to do what?" you might have said.

With so many people having a variety of creative fantasies of what they believe is a "good" relationship, one must know exactly what he or she wants before seriously committing to anyone or dating exclusively.  If you don't know what you want or have no boundaries, then you are one of those individuals who may be leaving yourself wide open for someone else to make up the rules as you get to know the person.

What exactly is the verbal agreement between a couple who really likes one another saying and not saying?  Are there others who are fulfilling your date's additional needs?  Could money and gifts be suffocating how some of you really feel about an arrangement you already agreed to and is now no longer satisfying?  Could the one asked to be a part of a wild relationship, withstand the pressure that might come about especially when people find out about one's lifestyle choice? 

Relatives, children, friends, in-laws, every dater has these connections, what one does with his or her life can potentially affect others.  Not everyone goes along with what the sub-culture does no matter how much the public is brainwashed that everyone is entitled to make their own decisions and "you should be more accepting..."  We all can make whatever choices we want, but are they sincerely the best?  How might family be impacted in the short or long-term if secrets come out?  Sometimes what people think are "just between you and me" end up in someone's photo album, video, audio, or heard about after a former date decided to tell the guys or gals.

If you feel that deep down inside, your unorthodox relationship is just not worth the time or stress anymore, then don't string your older or younger partner along, be at peace and go your own way!  The holidays have a way of amplifying poor decision-making especially when you are the one left alone on Christmas day.

Just something to think about.

Nicholl    

Tuesday

His Money, The Ex and Their Kids: A Fictional Story of a Very True Reality

The young woman didn't know what she was getting herself into when she started dating the older man.  She thought that dating this wealthy, handsome man was just the thing she needed to uplift her dismal lifestyle.  The sexy, young woman had envisioned a lifestyle of travel, nice gifts, and romance.  It didn't matter to her that most of her ideas on dating older came from a television reality show.

As the months grew into years, the young woman noticed many things about the older man that she simply didn't like.  She wouldn't dare share all that she observed with loved ones and close friends, because years ago, they warned her not to date "that old man."  They were concerned about her because the older guy had a bitter ex, a fluctuating income and stubborn, spoiled children from what they had heard.  But she was in love, at least so the college graduate believed.  If she could deal with crazy parents and wild roommates, she had reasoned dating the mature man would be a peace of cake.  But it wasn't.

The young lady was depressed and ready to call it quits.  Five years had gone by and she was weary of the ex calling and her boyfriend being what he called, "cordial for the sake of kids."  She suspected that he cheated on her with the ex one time or another.  The young woman had flew off the handle one too many times when his children were around; therefore, her boyfriend was carrying some hidden resentment because of those past episodes.  He had his doubts about the relationship, wasn't interested in rekindling any fires with the ex, and really didn't want to have to parent his children.  The young woman was a nice distraction, a good babysitter, cook and housekeeper sometimes.  Yet, she really wasn't meant to be in his life for very long.

Talking with older women, brought some comfort for the niave youngster.  She learned that men in her boyfriend's age group "had issues."  She reflected on how she once was so captivated by her older friend's charm and thought about marriage and having children of her own with him, but not so much anymore.  The young lady was changing like her man's unstable bank account.  She didn't anticipate that practically over night, money would be no more, fancy trips would vanish, and some of his material wealth would be taken away or sold.  Even worse, she had to give up some things he bought her to help him!  The poor girl struggled with thoughts of loving her boyfriend and once loving his money.  She hurt inside and at times felt like a fool for being so shallow when it came to getting her needs met.  Why did she allow her independence to be suffocated by lust?

A child free, beautiful, single woman with her life to live should be happy living it, but not this young miserable woman.  She knows that she permitted someone older and very selfish to redirect her lifestyle to fit his needs.  When would she start living her life?  It was obvious from the look on her boyfriend's face he had already lived his.

So the takeaway from this short fictional work is know the truth about your partner and be certain that you and he are willing to be in a relationship for better or for worse, rather than string one another a long with everything else, but love.

Nicholl McGuire created a video to help those who are in emotionally and physically abusive relationships.  See here.

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