Monday

Dating Older, Dating Younger: What Do You Sincerely Want in a Relationship?

Whether she is looking for the wealthy professional long-term or he is seeking an attractive, young woman to be intimate with for the short term, the two must communicate their intentions or otherwise someone or both will have a rocky road to climb that just might leave the pair very weary and bitter with one another in the end.

People get involved in relationships for any number of reasons whether the church, parents, or government agrees or not.  Some couples connect for reasons that are obvious and have been publicly shared without shame while others not so much.  What is in darkness does come out into the light eventually, so one must be honest about his or her intent when dating a young woman or older man.

Take a moment to think about why a mature man seeks after a young lady in search of a Sugar Daddy or why a young, educated woman appears to act very interested in a rich, unattractive gentleman?  In these examples, these people have specific needs and believe their encounters with one another will meet them.  No matter the relationship, background, creed, religion, ethnicity, someone has learned of some benefit when one dates the other that he or she may or may not know about.  The rumor, stereotype, or "word on the street" might be true about one's love interest, but maybe not. 

It takes time to get to know people, but unfortunately far too many people are connecting on the Internet believing that they have found a special someone that will complete them only to be disappointed in the end.  Quality relationships aren't built through good communication alone!  You can express how you feel until you are blue in the face through email, text, and in-person discussion, but if a person isn't much interested in you, other than what you can do for him or her, you just won't be able to make them stay in a serious relationship that they may have never wanted in the first place.

To date one older can be a great experience with the right attitude and a mindset that can look beyond the aging process.  It is inevitable, people will get older.  When one chooses to date younger, he or she must recognize that there is still much a youthful partner doesn't know about life; therefore, much patience is required.  Personality differences will get in the way if one doesn't recognize that relationships are built on working together and not apart.  Sometimes one will have to set aside his or her preferences/interests/way of life for another.  One who is more concerned about "playing" is not interested in compromise.

Be sure you know what type of relationship you want with your younger or older mate.  There are open relationships, secretive ones, wild ones, committed ones, and more.  Be honest about who you are such as:  what you want, the past, present, and future if you want a relationship built on a solid foundation, but if you aren't seeking anything serious--save your best for the one who you really want in the future.  Establish boundaries when dating and avoid the temptation to do the kind of things that would bring shame on you and your family.  Most of all, be certain that dating young or older is what you sincerely want.

Nicholl McGuire author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate and When Mothers Cry.

Thursday

How Do You Know When You Are Dating Someone Who is Too Young?

Some older men just might need a wake up call when it comes to dating young women.  There are laws in the land on dating women young enough to be one's daughter twice for good reason!

1.  You know your girlfriend's too young when every other word that comes out of her mouth during a conversation is "Like," "You know" or "Cool."

2.  She's too young for you when she is asking you, "Now where is it that you like to shop again?  My grandfather likes going there too!"

3.  She just isn't old enough for you when she is enjoying your children more than you.  "Hey, let's play another game, your dad is boring!"

4.  She lies about her age (sometimes by applying heavy makeup) just so that people will stop staring when you both are out together, yet they keep right on looking any way.  You can't hide the truth!

5.  She is just a baby when she asks a lot, "What do you think?  How do you feel?  Do you think I should?"

6.  She is far too young, when a relative threatens to call the police if they see you coming around her again.

No girl/woman is worth losing your freedom or your life, jump ship while you still have time!

Nicholl McGuire

Wednesday

How Old is Too Old When Dating an Older Man?

Could you use a bit of sense of humor today?  Here's how you know when you are dating someone way too old for you!

1.  He repeats the same story at least three times or more in a conversation that is less than an hour long.

2.  He confuses you with a young lady he dated back when he was a youngster.  When you correct him on calling you by the wrong name, he says, "I'm sorry I didn't recognize you, let me go get my glasses."

3.  He is too old when he misses the toilet when he goes to the bathroom.

4.  If he often complains about his back, neck, head and any other part of his anatomy before sex, during or after--take a clue, he's too d*mn old!

5.  When he says things like, "When I was your age...You are so young...What do you want an old geezer like me for?"

6.  He's too old when you constantly smell something old coming from his body!  Be careful that smell might rub off on you!

7.  You have yourself a real old guy when he starts reflecting back to a time when he only paid cents for something.

8.  He tells you that your old enough to be his granddaughter.

9.  When everything you touch on him is soft and he seems to be shrinking everywhere except for his ears and nose--they appear as if they are growing monthly!

10.  He is definitely too old when your grandmother tries to hit on him!


Nicholl McGuire

Tuesday

Young Woman Beat a Man at his Own Game - Know Some of the Rules He Uses to Play You

A young woman who has a loving family that is concerned about her dating an older man, needs to know that some men will play "mind" games until they get whatever it is that they are after. 

There are older men who not only come after sex, but money, a place to stay, a car, and whatever else a gullible naive, young woman desperate for attention will put out.  The following link puts some things into perspective, read how this blogger advises older men treat twenty-something young ladies based on their maturity level. 

If you have detected some put-off behavior with your older or maybe even a younger mate, you might be on to the game. 

Notice the players mentality and avoid it.  The molding/training that some men use to get women to fall in love, even act crazy, over them is sinful, to say the least.  See here:  Top Two Rules For Dating Younger Women: http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2008/02/07/top-two-rules-for-dating-younger-women/  Then read the comments afterward.

Age Gap Dating - Dating Younger Women, Dating Older Men Tips

Are you serious about your older or younger partner?  If so, you might want to click around this blog and others to test yourself on some issues that may or may not come up.  Everything from health issues to parents not liking an older partner will come up and you best prepared.  It isn't easy dating older or younger especially when you have children, a lack of money/resources, unsupportive men and women around you, and a partner that isn't completely convinced that you are his One and vice versa.  The following are some sites that have posted some interesting reading material about May-December romances.  Enjoy!

Meet a Millionaire

Younger Women Dating Older Men May Not Forsee the Consequences

Is an Older Man Dating a Younger Woman Acceptable?

Older Men and Younger Women: Gross, Natural, or Something In-Between?








Annoying Things Between Couples with Age Differences

If you didn't like your young date's annoying favorite song the other day, chances are many in your age group don't like it either.  If you have an old guy who is a worry wart and reminds you of a protective father, most likely their are many young ladies in similar relationships who feel the same way.

There are annoying things that arise in May-December relationships that can be a tad bit bothersome or so bad to the point that you just want to end it all.  But before you do some thing that you might later regret, think about some alternative ways to deal with those irritating issues.

Annoying music

Different generations, sometimes enjoy listening to different music genres--nothing wrong with that.  So if your young partner's music is like nails on a chalkboard to you, then give your date some quality earphones and a player for all his or her favorite music while explaining how you feel.  If you are in the car, you might not have any choice but deal with it unless your date doesn't mind using the ear phones for the trip.  But family areas of one's home should be restricted especially when one needs some peace and quiet.  It wouldn't be nice or respectful to play annoying music in the bedroom or in the living room loudly particularly when someone has indicated they simply don't like it, but selfish people will do just that.

Terrible tasting food

Sorry, but everyone just can't cook.  What some might think is their signature dish could be making a date sick.  If there has been repeated disinterest in your cooking or your partner's, make every effort to keep uncomfortable cooking situations at bay, get a professional to prepare it.

Electronic gadget fiddling

If he's not clicking the television remote, she is clicking away at her phone.  The couple may leave little free time to enjoy one another.  If the electronic use is really getting to you, try not using it during the times when you both would like to spend some quality time.

Different bed times

She might be a night owl and he might be an early riser or vice versa.  The difference in bed schedule can really get next to you, so it would make sense to talk and make necessary adjustments.

Appearance/Style of dress

It may bother a mature man dating a young woman who dressed stylish and conservative at least in the beginning of the relationship, but now she wants to look more like a teenager.  The young woman may hate the way her older guy dresses whether to old or way too young.  But whatever the issue with appearance, it can grate on one's nerves particularly when a date is starting to lose interest in his or her mate.  In the best interest of the relationship, listen to your partner, if nothing more.  If the requests are ridiculous, seem very controlling, and you actually look worse than better, there may be some issues that your partner is having that go beyond the surface of just suggesting something that looks better on you.

Tradition versus non-tradition

Not everyone is into the holidays, family meals, holiday church attendance, and Christmas songs,  when a partner has shared in a nice way or less nice and more emotional about not liking the traditional family get-togethers for one reason or another.  Take heed.  If you love tradition, go by yourself, who cares what they say.  If your partner is more interested in peace and quiet around holiday time, respect his or her wishes.  Holiday time is stressful enough without the added pressure of "Let's go to moms for Thanksgiving!" (sigh)

The previous mentioned irritation just skim the surface of grievances couples have when there is an age difference.  Of course, not every couple goes through these things and many couples who are close in age have problems, but the key is to address each concern, reach a compromise, and leave the yelling, slamming doors, and silent treatment out of the relationship if you claim to care and love a partner so much!

Nicholl McGuire, see other work by this author here.

Sunday

Are You Really Okay with Your Partner Dating Other People?

Some dates simply don't care what their mates do apart from them.  Couples will enter into mutual agreements where one is married, yet he or she has additional men or women they are having sex, attending events together and doing whatever else they like.  Others will exclusively date for a time until one or both get the bright idea to permit an additional person to enter their relationship.  Whether you agree with this sort of arrangement or not, it exists and some readers just might be their date's Girlfriend #2, 3 or even 4!  Young women will also play the field as well. Some will persuade their older boyfriends to go along with the program when found out.  Then of course, some people are so open and honest about their intentions, you can't help but stand still with your mouth wide open, "You want me to do what?" you might have said.

With so many people having a variety of creative fantasies of what they believe is a "good" relationship, one must know exactly what he or she wants before seriously committing to anyone or dating exclusively.  If you don't know what you want or have no boundaries, then you are one of those individuals who may be leaving yourself wide open for someone else to make up the rules as you get to know the person.

What exactly is the verbal agreement between a couple who really likes one another saying and not saying?  Are there others who are fulfilling your date's additional needs?  Could money and gifts be suffocating how some of you really feel about an arrangement you already agreed to and is now no longer satisfying?  Could the one asked to be a part of a wild relationship, withstand the pressure that might come about especially when people find out about one's lifestyle choice? 

Relatives, children, friends, in-laws, every dater has these connections, what one does with his or her life can potentially affect others.  Not everyone goes along with what the sub-culture does no matter how much the public is brainwashed that everyone is entitled to make their own decisions and "you should be more accepting..."  We all can make whatever choices we want, but are they sincerely the best?  How might family be impacted in the short or long-term if secrets come out?  Sometimes what people think are "just between you and me" end up in someone's photo album, video, audio, or heard about after a former date decided to tell the guys or gals.

If you feel that deep down inside, your unorthodox relationship is just not worth the time or stress anymore, then don't string your older or younger partner along, be at peace and go your own way!  The holidays have a way of amplifying poor decision-making especially when you are the one left alone on Christmas day.

Just something to think about.

Nicholl    

Tuesday

His Money, The Ex and Their Kids: A Fictional Story of a Very True Reality

The young woman didn't know what she was getting herself into when she started dating the older man.  She thought that dating this wealthy, handsome man was just the thing she needed to uplift her dismal lifestyle.  The sexy, young woman had envisioned a lifestyle of travel, nice gifts, and romance.  It didn't matter to her that most of her ideas on dating older came from a television reality show.

As the months grew into years, the young woman noticed many things about the older man that she simply didn't like.  She wouldn't dare share all that she observed with loved ones and close friends, because years ago, they warned her not to date "that old man."  They were concerned about her because the older guy had a bitter ex, a fluctuating income and stubborn, spoiled children from what they had heard.  But she was in love, at least so the college graduate believed.  If she could deal with crazy parents and wild roommates, she had reasoned dating the mature man would be a peace of cake.  But it wasn't.

The young lady was depressed and ready to call it quits.  Five years had gone by and she was weary of the ex calling and her boyfriend being what he called, "cordial for the sake of kids."  She suspected that he cheated on her with the ex one time or another.  The young woman had flew off the handle one too many times when his children were around; therefore, her boyfriend was carrying some hidden resentment because of those past episodes.  He had his doubts about the relationship, wasn't interested in rekindling any fires with the ex, and really didn't want to have to parent his children.  The young woman was a nice distraction, a good babysitter, cook and housekeeper sometimes.  Yet, she really wasn't meant to be in his life for very long.

Talking with older women, brought some comfort for the niave youngster.  She learned that men in her boyfriend's age group "had issues."  She reflected on how she once was so captivated by her older friend's charm and thought about marriage and having children of her own with him, but not so much anymore.  The young lady was changing like her man's unstable bank account.  She didn't anticipate that practically over night, money would be no more, fancy trips would vanish, and some of his material wealth would be taken away or sold.  Even worse, she had to give up some things he bought her to help him!  The poor girl struggled with thoughts of loving her boyfriend and once loving his money.  She hurt inside and at times felt like a fool for being so shallow when it came to getting her needs met.  Why did she allow her independence to be suffocated by lust?

A child free, beautiful, single woman with her life to live should be happy living it, but not this young miserable woman.  She knows that she permitted someone older and very selfish to redirect her lifestyle to fit his needs.  When would she start living her life?  It was obvious from the look on her boyfriend's face he had already lived his.

So the takeaway from this short fictional work is know the truth about your partner and be certain that you and he are willing to be in a relationship for better or for worse, rather than string one another a long with everything else, but love.

Nicholl McGuire created a video to help those who are in emotionally and physically abusive relationships.  See here.

Friday

The reality: Being lonely and dating as a poor girl


When the Relationship is Coming to an End: Things the Young Woman Might Do

Some young women just can't handle rejection from older men especially those who have been taken care of by a Sugar Daddy type.  Like men, they too will do things to try to save their pride particularly if they aren't ready for a break up.   Getting a partner's attention is one of the most popular things an immature, young woman will do even after the older gentleman has said, "It's over!"

Dress provocatively.

She attempts to win him back in her arms by making herself even more appealing and sexy.  She thinks that if she can get him back in the bed, he will change his mind about her and the relationship.  It may sound silly, even strange, that she would put herself out like that, but this is what some young women will do.

Change her appearance.

Now for some women, rather than use her sex appeal to charm her former partner back into her arms again, she will do some things like change her hairstyle, color, or other things that either send a bold statement or a subtle one like, "See, what you are missing!  I will be fine without you.  I am focused on me.  I am a new and improved me, thanks to you!"

Cry.

The tears flow every time you come around or call her.  She is pulling on your heart strings.  She wants "things to get better...I still love you...I really want this to work..."

Laugh.

She may use a happy countenance as a lure to get her older partner to pay her attention.  She figures that if she is jovial and fun to be around he won't mind being in her presence and will forget about breaking up with her.

Buy gifts.

Gift-giving works for the man who doesn't have much, but for the established man, not so much.  Yet, the young woman will try to win his affections by buying her man something she thinks he will really like in the hopes of getting back in his good graces!

Here are other things she might do to halt a breakup:

Pop over his house unannounced.

Do outlandish things like send a naked photo of herself or show up naked.

Act insecure and jealous especially when he mentions talking to other women whether they are family or not.

Pick fights.

Dress half-naked or wear very tight clothes around his friends while making conversation possibly exchanging phone numbers.

Threaten to expose her lover's secrets or share details of their relationship with others.

Yell/scream, in other words, make a scene in a public place.

Do drugs or drink heavily before meeting her former lover.

Talk about committing suicide.

Use pregnancy as a good reason for the two of them to work things out.  She may be pregnant, she may not be.  Go to doctor's visits with her to be sure--don't take a sonogram photo as proof alone and get a DNA test as soon as possible.

When a woman uses many of these tactics to keep a man, you have to wonder how stable is her mindset during a tough time.  Some women just are too fragile mentally to deal with breaking up, but staying with them knowing full well you no longer like, trust, or want to be around them is not good either.  Unfortunately, verbal and physical abuse will fester and may even become so bad that one might lose his or her freedom!  When the writing is on the wall that your soon-to-be ex-girlfriend is acting out of her mind, be sure to use the full extent of the law to keep you safe and anyone else you might be dating in the future.

Nicholl McGuire author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate.

 

Tuesday

He's More Interested in Sex than a Relationship - What to do?

He came off too strong the last time you two were together.  His eyes were everywhere and his hands would have been too had you not stopped the horny guy.  You would like to go out with him again, but you wonder if it is going to be more of the same?  Yes, it will be if you keep teasing him with those lips, that dress, your gaze, sexy conversation, and whatever else you do that turns him on.  You might want to think twice about being alone with him.

Young women take chances dating men who obviously want more than just dinner and a movie.  He has told you over the phone what he wants and has also been quite bold in what he hopes to have happen the next time he sees you.  So what do some young women do?  They give into the wild man's desires even when these girls don't want to and unfortunately some get raped.

One must be on her guard when dating older men who are not acting like gentlemen, but more like men who haven't had sex in awhile.  You can't have a great time with someone who talks often about having sex when you know you aren't ready.  Think twice before going out with the man who can't seem to take "Later or in the future..." as a good enough answer.  Pushy men might be violent men, so be careful.

Some things you might want to do:

1.  Explain to him why he is turning you off with all his talk about having sex with you.

2.  Distance yourself from him by not answering your phone everytime he calls or opening your door when he comes around.  Talk with relatives and friends about your concerns if he keeps insisting that he wants to come over.

3.  Be prepared to fight if he doesn't respect your boundaries.  Have self-defense equipment and 911 on speed dial.

4.  Don't ride in the car with him and arrange to have a future date in a public space if you must go out with this "I need sex right now" guy again.

5.  You might feel the need to keep him in your life, but don't give up anything to get something, always find alternatives.  A sexual bond with someone who doesn't care much about you and vice versa can take a long time to get over and you might have many regrets as a result.  Young women have been known to have children they didn't want with men they were never attracted to.  They have also walked away with sexually transmitted diseases among other things because they compromised their personal beliefs to satisfy someone else's.  Don't let this happen to you!

When the writing is on the wall that your sexually-starved friend is more concerned about your body and less interested in anything else, don't think things will get better, because if you do what he likes, most likely he will find someone else to pursue in the future if you give up sex too soon.

Nicholl McGuire author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate http://laboringtoloveanabusivemate.blogspot.com

Friday

7 Dating Tips for Older Men Meeting Young Women for the First Time

So you are excited about meeting your new date offline?  Your first meeting will be great if you just remember to relax, don't take yourself too seriously, and use your manners.  Now here are some other tips you might not have thought about.
 

One. Have a plan, a back up plan, and another plan on where you are taking your date.

First dates are the memorable ones, so you will want to work out a great plan. Interview her on what she might like to do, see and eat on the first date. Mention your interests. Find places that will meet both your needs. Have alternative plans that are near the area just in case an unforeseen circumstance takes place. But whatever you do, don’t wander aimlessly around looking for a place to go. Research the area before you arrive. If you can visit the community before you get there, do it. Google the location and check reviews. If one spot doesn’t work out, check out the next, and the next when all else fails, park in a nice spot and just talk until you can figure out where to go next. Keep your cool.

Two. Save money to be spent on your dating experience.

Don’t count on your date to have much. Young mothers with children don’t typically have a lot of money put aside for dating. A young woman in college maybe barely making ends meet. Just because she may be living independently or with parents, doesn’t mean she is able to afford an expensive outing with someone she is still getting to know. So avoid the temptation to ask her to split the bill, drive her car, or pay for gas. If you can’t afford to make a good impression, put it off. Remember the old adage, a first impression is a lasting one--don’t blow it!

Three. If things should go wrong, don’t lie or make lame excuses.

You spent too much time looking at yourself in the mirror, you fell asleep and forgot about the date, someone came over and you left late, whatever the reason, don’t focus on what you did wrong by lying, covering up, or exaggerating, apologize and then get right to making wrongs right. “Let me make this up to you, could I interest you in…would you like…I would love to help you with…” Statements like these sound much better than, “I didn’t think it was a good time to meet, but I know you wanted…You could have called me, you’re lucky I’m here…Everyone is always bothering me at the last minute, I would have been here sooner, but…” So is she going to have to feel your tension all evening?

Four. Look your best, be prepared to take a photo with her.

Skipping anything that you typically do to make yourself handsome can be detrimental when on a first date. When that special someone has seen you looking your best in many of your photos, she doesn’t want to suddenly see the gray-bearded guy who once had a black beard in all his photographs or the guy with the flat stomach suddenly have one now that he isn’t wearing a certain garment, shirt, or suit coat. The first photo is just as important as the first date, so be sure you have everything trimmed, colored, or whatever else it is that you do to look good.

Five. Be kind and respectful.

 
It is very easy to be yourself to the point that it turns a date off. Be yourself, but within reason. Don’t act overly macho, young and silly, or crazy and critical just because she shared a story once of a cool guy who saved her family or some funny guys back in high school. Most young women want what the older ones want, a polite man who is a good listener and sincerely cares about her.

Six Avoid the temptation of expecting her to have sex with you.

Just because you both were talking hot and heavy on the phone the other night, doesn’t mean that she is going to have sex with you. You never know what has transpired since the two of you last talked. So if she doesn’t bring it up, don’t say anything, but gently let her know with a flirty glance, “I wouldn’t mind.” From religious conviction to a menstrual cycle, many factors come into play when a woman just doesn’t seem interested in being intimate. Besides, you shouldn’t want a woman who is all-too-willing to get in bed with you without so much as thinking about a commitment.

Seven. Don’t assume that she wants to go out with you again.

Some men believe that they are a catch and that every woman should be honored to be in their presence. However, there is always one, two, three or more women who rather be anywhere then with an unattractive boring guy, a miserable man, a control freak, or crazy nut. Be sure that none of these descriptions fit you. Young women might be open to try something new for a time, but then when things get weird, they will gradually back off.

Taking the needed time to prepare for a date will not only make her feel comfortable, but you will feel good knowing that no matter what happens, you did your best. To your success!

Nicholl McGuire maintains other blogs as well, check out http://workplaceproblems.blogspot.com

Tuesday

Thanks for supporting! tipsdatingoldermen.blogspot.com

We have been blogging since 2007!  It feels good knowing that people are reading and obtaining a bit of wisdom, humor, and dating tips when it comes to finding and keeping a great companion.

So what is a blog entry without sharing more tips on dating older and younger?

If you are ready and willing to make changes when your own efforts have failed, then you are more likely to act on the tips this blog provides you.  People who have quality relationships are those who are open to accepting their mate's frailties and able to see their own personal flaws. 

When seeking that special someone or maintaining one's current relationship,
one knows that he or she can't afford to be too picky.  A lover enjoys a mate's company and isn't concerned about things like what his or her eyebrows look like and how the person laughs.  Instead of focusing on the little things that might annoy others, the lover focuses on everything that makes him or her feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Love prevails even when one is dating older or younger.  Age doesn't matter when one is sold out and in love with a mate!  So for those who just don't get it, it isn't for you to "get it," just be positive and hope that the energy of a fresh romance rekindles a stale one!

In closing, be free to love a person in a way that you always wanted!  Sure, there are many voices that want to help you solve your dilemmas, better you, and so on, but what really matters is what you want so take what you learn and make it your own!  So enjoy the blog, there is more to come!

Nicholl McGuire Media

The Ugly Reality of Dating an Older Partner with Low T or Hormonal Issues

He isn’t going to tell you that his body was part responsible for ending his last relationship with someone who was close to his age. Instead, he is going to tell you that “things just didn’t work out.” His former partner who suffers with mood swings, hot flashes and more is not going to admit that her fluctuating emotions is what ran her husband out of the house and into the arms of another woman younger than she. Both will “act” as if that’s how life is, and so they move on, or do they?

Some menopausal wives recognize their actions and inactions in their marriages and will work hard to try to restore them even going so far as to say downright foolish things to try to keep their husbands. Then there are those men with health issues, who may still want to be with their wives, but not live with them, so they will try to live double lives. He may be with his wife on one day and then with his girlfriend on another day and so on.

Ashamed, miserable, and broken, what once was is no more for some couples who have been together for 10 plus years. Yet, for others, their younger partners become nothing more than past times until the former couple gets whatever needs to be fixed in their minds, bodies and spirits. An aha moment comes and before long, he is wanting to get remarried to his ex, she is desiring a baby, and the two believe that they will live happily ever after--not likely. The two have left behind a trail of broken hearts, the older man and his menopausal wife. They act as if everything is okay with the world until an ex shows up with some bad news, a former lover just finds it hard to let go, and someone else is not going away without a fight in court.

There is a price to pay when one doesn’t take care of his or her issues within a relationship before stepping out on his wife or husband. A young woman can become pregnant by an older man, even with low T (testosterone) issues, and before long, that relationship becomes nothing more than another chapter in history. The menopausal wife may find that a fling here and there with a younger gentleman suitor just isn’t worth it, but then later learns she is carrying an incurable sexually transmitted disease.

Why couldn’t he have stuck it out with his wife before wrecking havoc on someone else? Why couldn’t his wife hang in there a little longer? The emotional roller coaster of a ride comes into play with younger partners when the older ones make promises that they know they can’t keep.

“I love you…I am over my wife…Don’t worry I will take care of you…my husband and I are getting a divorce…” The younger person should be thinking, “Well, if that happens great, but I’m not sticking around. I can find someone else with less baggage.”

One must be cautious of those who have been displaying irresponsible behaviors--acting more like a rebellious teen, rather than a grown up. When the low T lover desires to live a more active lifestyle even when mind and body is saying otherwise, look out! He may act like that today, but totally different tomorrow. Then there is his wife who acts like she is in love one minute and then hates men the next. Young people are caught in the middle of mayhem wondering, “What is up with these so-called mature adults?”

Not every person deemed “mature” really is. Not every older man is caring, nurturing, and able to provide a lifestyle of security. Not every older woman is patient, sweet, and wants sex all the time. Contrary to what many may have heard and read about “the older date,” there are many who have issues due to things like: bad eating, addictions, trauma, mental issues and chronic health ailments. These people do not turn out to be what a younger person might expect after much Internet reading, interviewing others on their experiences, and going out on several dates or more. Smiling photographs of older people dating younger don’t reveal the issues that many couples face due to age differences. Sure it sounds nice as long as the older partners are single, healthy, active, and mentally sound, but when things change, one must be prepared for all sorts of challenges.

Once the writing is on the wall, so to speak, don’t try to put your own spin on truth, see it for what it really is and ask yourself, “Do I really want to go on this journey with my low T lover or my moody menopausal partner?” Keep in mind, sooner or later, the ride will end either with the young person still seated in the passenger seat alone, kicked off the ride, or ready for another one with his or her mature partner.

Nicholl McGuire

Saturday

The Characteristics of a Spiritually Poor, Rich, Older Man

He is poor spiritually, yet rich materially.  He doesn't seem to appear like he is lacking in anything.  However, once you spend some time with him and listen carefully to his conversation, you find that the wealthy man really has no spiritual connection to anyone or anything.  He doesn't feel it is necessary to pray, read a Holy Bible, visit a church, meditate, or do anything else related to spirituality.  For young women who believe in a Creator, you will find that being with an older man who isn't interested in bettering himself spiritually is going to be a challenge.

Mature men can be stubborn.  They resist being told anything that makes them feel like they are out of control of their own lives.  The minister might make them feel that way.  A spiritual counselor may aggravate him.  A parent who is religious can be irritating.  Then the young woman who is sold out for Jesus might be a turn-off.

Choosing to abandon one's faith for riches is foolish and connecting with someone who has quite boldly expressed how he doesn't need or want a relationship with a Creator will be a problem in the short and long term.  Yet, young believers will take that chance anyway, because they have a love for money that their bibles warn against.  If you sincerely want someone to complete you, recognize the spiritually poor, rich older man and save yourself some heartache, don't make him your intimate partner.

Here are some things to look out for.
  1. The rich man thinks and acts most often without spiritual insight and acknowledgement of a Creator.
  2. He finds fault with others, even those who mean him well, also blames Creator.
  3. Seeks women, alcohol, drugs, parties, and more to make him feel whole, but is disappointed that nothing satisfies completely.
  4. Unable to mentally break free from draining responsibilities even if retired or living a sedentary lifestyle, because he spent much of his life acquiring things while having his life dictated by someone or something else.
  5. He lies or exaggerates about not having enough money.
  6. Hoards money when fearful of things like: family trials, media stories, and other’s personal experiences about lost material wealth. Some men have become this way because they grew up in poor households.
If you claim to be a believer, pray for him, but move on to someone who you have more commonalities when it comes to spirituality--he's out there, so don't settle!

Nicholl McGuire

Don't have a study bible? Get one...Study with Nicholl http://bit.ly/J0wyop

Nicholl is the author of the following books:

Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic https://www.createspace.com/3437273
When Mothers Cry https://www.createspace.com/3393499
Laboring to Love Myself https://www.createspace.com/3401526
Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate https://www.createspace.com/3332346
Floral Beauty on a Dead End Street http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/904839
Spiritual Poems By Nicholl http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/3113926

Wednesday

Things Younger Women Want from Older Dates and It’s Not Just Financial Security

There are many things that any single woman interested in dating a mature gentleman wants when beginning their courtship. But for young women, who don’t have much dating experience, they are looking for some things from their older gentlemen in addition to money and gifts.

A friendship.

It brings great pleasure to a young woman when she can clearly see that an older gentleman is fond of her. Many of her friends are not with young men who care much about their likes, dislikes, present, or future. So when the older man finds her not only “attractive, intelligent, destined to be a success,” or whatever other nice words he uses to describe her, he boosts her self-esteem and quite naturally she wants more of his company.

A good lover.

Sexually active young women desire mind-blowing sex. Chances are she didn’t have that kind of experience when she dated men her age and younger. So when she has made a connection with not only a man who is a good communicator, but a great lover too, she becomes very excited about what more he has to offer.

Someone who isn’t like the males who negatively impacted them.

When young women seek out older men, they are looking for something different. They want to be with the men who have the kind of attributes that aren’t like younger men. Some younger women already had the controlling, jealous type of boyfriend. So when the older gentleman comes along, she wants him to be the opposite of the last guy. Is he mentally stable, secure, mature, and not possessive?

Responsible partner.

From how he takes care of his car to the way he deals with others, is he the type of person that people respect and does he keep promises, and cares for others? A smart, young woman wants a man who is going to not only be responsible because he is receiving a paycheck from someone, but know how to manage his personal life as well. She recognizes the fact that she just might be a part of his world one day, so she best act just as responsible if not more.

A trustworthy mate.

Can she trust her date around her mother and other women she knows? Some men just can’t be trusted and so she will be watching to see if he won’t disrespect her, steal, or lie as well as other things. She might even question him on whether or not he has a faith or some kind of moral principles he follows.

They want attention.

Whether she has daddy issues or not, she hopes that her date will shower her with affection and listen to her when she is up and when she is down. So she will do and say things to get a response out of her date. She is curious about how he reacts to her.

They want their men healthy.

Young women are concerned about their mature dates’ health especially when they find themselves falling in love with them. They want their mates to live long.

When a man has the ability to financially take care of his self, household and anyone who he chooses to make his partner, it is a wonderful thing, because that is just one less thing that his future mate has to be concerned about especially if things aren’t going so well for her at this time. However, most young women have a drive to succeed and participate in the kinds of activities where they can still be who they are without losing their identity in a relationship. A gentleman who inspires his young partner to be the best she can be in all that she does will look beyond his wallet.  She just might really view him as someone who she might be able to spend the rest of her life with.


Nicholl McGuire blogger at It's All in the Family, see blog here.

Sunday

10 Things that Excite Young Ladies About Their Dates' Transportation

So you want to make an even better impression on your date?  Know your transportation and how your young lady friend might respond to it.  Does she like a sporty car or a luxurious one?  What is she driving?  Make her feel special by sharing some of those things you like about your car, truck, van or motorcycle and offer to buy something that will cause her to think of you every time she gets into her car.  Consider the type of personality your date possesses, and think how her style might compliment your vehicle.

What is so special about a guy's transportation anyway?  Well, it all depends on the girl.  Following are 10 things that excite many young ladies who like nice automobiles.

1.  A ride on the back of a motorcycle for the adventurous type (keep in mind, not all young ladies like this).

2.  For those who don't mind messing up their hair, letting the convertible top down.

3.  The way the motor sounds when her date starts the car up.

4.  Automobile detail such as tinted windows, shiny rims, color, etc.

5.  How nice and clean the car smells.

6.  A spacious backseat.

7.  Riding in a vehicle that sits higher than others.

8.  A great sound system.

9.  A decorated inside with convenient items like tissue, trash bag, organizer, etc.

10.  Trunk space when traveling--no worries about bringing or buying too much stuff and not having enough room.

Make a lasting impression on the young lady when you pick her up the next time.  Impact her five senses and she just might be back for another ride on the town.

Nicholl McGuire also shares poetry here.

Friday

Nasty, Crazy, Sexy and Sweet Young Women: Know the Differences

A mature guy wants to go on a rich dating website to find that special someone who is years younger than he.  The kind of gal who is going to be the one that makes his heart sing, but there is only one problem, he really doesn't know what he is looking for in a young woman.  There are all types of young women from nasty to sweet.  If a gentleman whether rich, poor, nice or mean doesn't have a clue as to what really turns him on, why would he expect his youthful date to know what he wants?

Nasty Girl

As much as some would rather look the other way and think more highly of themselves than they ought, Nasty Girl is on the dating website seeking a good time and she is looking for a Nasty Boy.  She may look like any man's fantasy girl, but she isn't necessarily interested in living out the Pretty Woman movie.  She also isn't playing by any book of morals and ethics, and she wouldn't be all that interested in meeting her date's family no matter how long they have dated.  So why does the nice guy fall for her and attempt to make Ms. Nasty date him exclusively, who knows?  If Nasty Girl is your speed, you have to act the part, don't pretend like you aren't nasty when you know you are, hypocrites!  Keep in mind, if a man claims to be a believer in a Higher Power, who he considers righteous, you might want to flee from temptation, because Nasty Girl is very charming and you won't be able to let go easily.

Crazy Girl

Now she is going to be the one who is going to say things that most women wouldn't.  She will act like a fool about almost anything.  "I just love this...I couldn't ever live without...I absolutely so want to...I am obsessed with..." You get the picture.  She is full of emotions, energy, happy one minute, sad the next, and she so very wants to see the world!  But be careful, she falls in love way too fast--might even forget to take a pill or two!  Crazy Girl is ready to drop panties faster than you can say, "Let's go to my place."  Can your cell phone handle all of her future texts, voice mails, and images?  Do you think you are ready to show her off to family, make her your wife and play father to her children within less than six months of meeting her?  Oh by the way, she isn't going to appreciate your chatting with other women even if they are your mother, sister and children's mother.

Sexy Girl

You may come across way too many of these young and sexy types including those who are not really sexy at all, but just pretend to be.  After a few dates, some of these women are back to the jeans, long shirts, and tennis shoes with their hair tied back and no makeup--uh oh, is she still pretty?  Then you have the real, sexy women who might be a tad bit difficult to keep up with, because their sexiness is just a bit too hot too handle.  Men will turn their necks to take a look at your girl and might even slip her a number or two when you aren't looking.  None of your conservative female relatives, especially the married ones, will accept Ms. Sexy spreading all her lust all over the place.  Best to keep her to yourself!  Now could she be future marriage material, maybe?  But then again, maybe not if she doesn't know how to control her sexy.  She is the cheating type, so you will need to watch her!

Sweet Girl

Quiet, docile, ready to get married and have a baby or two, Sweet is going to be that one who makes time for you.  She is going to practically do whatever you suggest without complaint.  Sweet will even cook, clean, and rub your back.  This young woman might remind you of that good woman you left behind back in your youth.  She will stir up butterflies in your belly and bring some excitement in your mundane life.  Oh yeah, Sweet is a keeper.  But some older men, who are more interested in a good time, are better off leaving Sweet alone.  You don't want to break that girl's heart, chances are she has quite a few people who are close to her that would love to stir up some trouble with an old man that they really don't like the idea she is dating.

So there you have it, equipped with some useful knowledge about at least four popular types of young women you will meet on just about any dating website!  Choose wisely and be prepared to face the consequences when you don't live up to what you say.  Please come back to this site and share your experience, we would love it!


Nicholl McGuire is an author, blogger and Internet content producer.  Learn more about her here.

Thursday

Why Married/Unavailable 40 Year Old Men want Younger Women


Some Mature Older Men will Take Advantage of Immature Young Women

Why is it that her family raises eyebrows when her older date comes around them?  Why is it that negative words is all family and friends speak when the young woman talks about her mature date?  Why does the young woman feel like she has to defend her man, her preference, her reasons for dating him, and more--Why?

From the stranger that looks at the young woman with a look of caution to the father who threatens to hurt him, if he so much as make his daughter cry, they have good reason to be concerned.  There are some mature men who will take advantage of a young woman who has little life experiences.  She hasn't managed her own finances for long, may not have moved away from home but once, lived with a boyfriend for a short stint, and doesn't get around much because she is always working.  So she doesn't really know much about dating/relationships, finances, travel, and adulthood, besides what her parents and siblings may have told her growing up. 

Unfortunately, many fathers and other male relatives just don't talk to the females in their families about too much of anything relevant to their lifestyle choices from what they wear to who they pick to date.  Sure, a concerned dad or uncle might say, "Be careful of those big, bad wolves out there..."  But is that really enough information to protect her?  "What should I look out for?"  the young lady should ask for specifics, find out what fathers, uncles, cousins are really saying.  Hopefully, they aren't so protective of the male bond that they will start exposing the games that men play.  But if they don't, there are always books like that one by Steve Harvey, Act Like a Lady Think Like Man--many men hated him for writing this one.

The big, bad wolves come in sheep's clothing.  They are charming, act protecting, flatter, want young women who won't ask any questions, might even talk a few out of the little money they have saved up in bank accounts, and may even promise marriage knowing full well that is the least of their intentions.  When the bad wolf throws back his false exterior, the young woman usually finds out the hard way that all that glitters ain't gold!  He is mean-spirited, bitter because of a past divorce, loss of money or children, and displeased with his life choices.  The immature, young woman might be a product of his mid-life crisis, and when he realizes this, he isn't that handsome, loving, and sensitive type that she had once fallen in love with.

What is downright evil that some mature men do to unwise, young women is know full well how far they will keep them on their strings before they cut the ties.  They act like puppet masters, controlling arms, legs and whatever else they can.  Rather than encouraging her to do what she likes, pursue her dreams, he manipulates her into holding off dreams, follow him and do whatever he asks while forsaking all family and friends. 

Mature men, who don't have to be the player type, but rather controlling, plan out exactly the beginning, middle and end of their courtship with young, silly women, before pursuing what they truly want, a wise woman with a certain youthfulness about her.  They act as if everything is okay in their dating experiences with the immature as long as they keep getting what they can out of them.  But when the typical immature responses start grating on their nerves, they back off.  Rebellious, tempermental, argumentative women, who act like children, get kicked to the curb! 

Sooner or later, the immature woman notices some negative things about her older man, but doesn't catches on completely until she sees him starting to withdrawal.  Sex isn't coming as regularly, conversation is sparse/meaningless, he isn't taking her places like he once had, and sometimes she may even detect some hostility in his voice.  If she starts snooping/investigating to find out what is really going on with him, the hurtful reality is discovered, he never was into her as much as he claimed.  From photographs of other women to phone numbers, it was all a game to that mature player.  In time, the young woman learns the game of her puppet master.  The silly woman, who was once ignorant, becomes enlightened.

The tables often turn on both the selfish, mature men and their young, silly women who think they are going to "just date for fun, have a good time."  People eventually wise up.  Young women, realize there is more to dating some mature older men than meets the eye.


Nicholl McGuire

Sunday

The Temperamental Older Man Who Thinks He is Okay

His hair is thinning, belly protruding, and he isn’t excited about life. He is often irritated with others. Whether they are too talkative, noisy, happy, or active, he looks at people, even member of his own household, with a dismal expression before exploding about what someone said or did. What is it about the temperamental older man that makes older women stay away and young women want to run?

Those who love him and have taken a bit of time to do some research on his age group usually find out that his bodily changes are associated with his anger outbursts, sudden tearful moments, impatience, and other odd behaviors. Although one presents the sensitive man with proven scientific evidence about his change of life, whether he is in 40s, 50s, 0r 60s, he resents the researchers, curses loved ones and goes about his life taking risks.

Young women are warned about dating men with testosterone issues, also known as low-T, but typical of young women, they don’t heed wise counsel. They go ahead and date, have sex, produce babies, get married, and do other things that might put their safety and overall well-being at risk. If a young woman knows that she doesn‘t have the patience, time or knowledge to deal with a moody older man, it is best to stay or run away before she catches his wrath.

The longer a young woman dates and older man, her eyes begin to widen and then she starts to see what her mature relatives and friends had been warning. Unfortunately, some young women see the truth too late and are abused physically, mentally, or even spiritually. The troubled older man who attends church regularly or has a background in religion will use the Bible as a means of control. The abuser will use verbal abuse and silent treatment to get her to follow his rules. Then there is the often angry older man who threatens or strikes his victims (men/women/children/pets) whenever things don’t go his way or he doesn’t like the way someone is treating him.

Rather than get necessary help that could possibly bring his hormones in balance, the mentally disturbed man, who once demonstrated self-control in many areas of his life, plays the blame game. “It’s the job…the annoying kids…my crazy wife…my car…this money-sucking house…” Sure. How about it’s him--a man that has reached a place in his life where everything rattles his nerves. In his youth, he had challenges and got over them without saying much. He watched movies and rarely, if ever, shedded a tear. He ran, lifted heavy objects, jumped, climbed, danced, played athletic sports, and did many things without needing to sit down for long periods of time. He was able to have sex without worrying over whether a certain part of his anatomy would stay firm. He worked from sun up to sun down and ran all over time to this event and that one. Those were the good old days, but the mature gentleman’s present days could get better if he would face his reality and build his life in such a way that can accommodate the different human being that he has become. From less work hours to a daily regimen of eating right, taking necessary medicine and supplements, and scheduling time for other activities, besides watching TV or sitting in front of a computer screen, just might uplift his spirits.

Some men will allow their moods to dominate even their intimate lives, fun times with their family, and travel. They will say, “I’m not up to it. I rather not. Could we do that another time?” He exchanges good times for a room, chair and an electronic device. For some men, that is the best place for them, because if they refuse to acknowledge that they are not good people to be around, they are better left alone. For loved ones who have a person like this around them, get on with your life! Create distance if he seems to be increasingly angry over what most people wouldn’t overreact to if you feel your mental stability and safety is at risk. You will know that trouble is on the horizon when you experience the following around the moody older man: nervousness, irritability, rage, vengeful thoughts, unexplained tension, constant stomach upset, or headaches. Separate yourself from him and contact this person less. If you live with him, doesn’t matter what you have or don’t have with this person, pack your bags and leave before he hurts you or you retaliate with hurtful words and physical violence. For those spiritual, your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit so you know you don’t have to put up with abuse and don’t let those religious types tell you otherwise.

A temperamental older man is not going to change without proper treatment, he is only going to get worse! No amount of exercise or quiet meditation is going to solve an ongoing problem if he doesn’t want to get tested, listen to doctor’s advice and make necessary changes that you may have suggested as well. Stubborn men, who don’t watch all aspects of their diets including cutting out sugary drinks, maintaining reasonable portion sizes, and doing other things to better their health, rarely change. Years will go by and they will say, “I am going to do this…and I am going to do that…” They unfortunately don’t attempt to make significant changes until something major happens with their bodies, relationships, or income.

Saturday

84 Year Old Grandmother's Courtship and Marriage to Older Man

She was 16 years old when she fell in love with a friend of the family who was 34 years old.  The woman being interviewed didn't want her real name being shared, so her name will be April. 

Back in the 1930s, the young April was a mere teen who had a life ahead of her, but she got distracted with the tall, dark and handsome fellow who admired her from a distance.  She explains that he caught her eye, not only because he was so nice-looking, but also because "I wanted to leave my father's house...I was uneducated."  She had attended elementary school on and off until about the age of 13 before her mother died.  Her father, who had suddenly become a widow, went wild with the young ladies, according to April's relatives.  So April and her siblings saw a poor example of how an older man treated young women.  Relatives say he would drink, party, and have sex with them sometimes having a few at a time.  They were children watching him abuse these women and some were women of the night.

But the handsome gentleman, who had been in April's family for years, had claimed that when she was a baby, the girl would one day become his wife.  "I was still in my diapers my older relatives said when he told them that," said the 84 year old grandmother.  April was impressed with the muscular man.  "He could read and write."  This was important to women of the time, because they knew that an educated man could get a better job than most and be able to provide for his family.  April's older man was a blessing to a girl with a big heart.  She grew up in a household of 20 and the older gentleman was going to get her out of there.

April warns young women, who share their trials with her, to be careful when it comes to dating men especially older ones.  She says, "Don't trust a smiling face.  There are dangerous men in this world."  The mother of six learned the hard way.  After leaving her father's house and going to be with the family friend, the mature gentleman would marry her and then move her out of state. 

April was required to work during her marriage, because despite her husband's education, he had a strike against him--he was a black man trying to work during a time when racial dissension was present between blacks and whites.  He also was one who liked to drink and party just like April's father.  There was an obvious pattern, not only with April, but her siblings as well, most dated older men and many were cheated on.  They basically got their father all over again through the men they dated and eventually married--his good, bad, rich and poor qualities all wrapped up in one! 

April, being an uneducated black woman raising a family from the 1940s to the early 1960s, had her share of challenges as well; therefore, her options for employment were few.  Housecleaning and cooking was what she did for very low wages.  "I didn't have the opportunities back then, that young women have nowadays," April says.  There was no daycare, Internet, an abundance of programs to help the needy, and many households didn't have televisions.  April grew up poor, married into poverty, and then later acquired her personal wealth after her children became adults.

"This is why I tell young people to get an education, so that they don't have to settle for less,"  April advises.  She tells women to put off marriage and having children until you have accomplished personal goals.  There were times in her life she admits, she cried because of the poor decisions she made in life.

The man who had swept her off her feet and had given her so much happiness and promises, eventually caused her much upset to the point that she couldn't focus on anything she truly wanted to do.  "He was abusive--a bastard!  But my stupid self, loved him!"  She pauses and then adds, "I asked myself, why do I love this man?"  Long after her husband's passing, April admits that she still loves him.  For years, April said that she attended church while choosing to remain in the abusive relationship for the sake of her children.  She says that it was her faith in God that got her through many turbulent times.

But love doesn't verbally abuse or physically fight and two of April's own children wanted their father gone from the house, one even threatened to shoot his dad for beating up his mother.  April was well aware that love doesn't hurt, but she was also fearful about leaving.  There were times when she and her children did stay with relatives until her husband cooled down.

Nowadays, the 84 year old grandmother listens to young women's relationship plights and prays for them who labor to love their abusive mates while advising they get away.  April blames her lack on why she settled.  After decades of being cheated on, that handsome man who attracted many women both young and old met his fate.  April shares that her abuser was burned to death in a house fire.  "He moved out of our family home and got his own place in an apartment building where he lived for a time," April solemnly explains.  "My husband called me the night before and asked if we could get back together.  I told him I would have to pray about it.  The next day I heard that he had died in a fire."  April admits her faith was shook and cautions don't pray if you don't want an answer.

After the death of her husband back in the 70s, April says that "I could never love another man."  When asked why, she said, "I was afraid that if I got close to one, I might kill him if he treated me the way my husband had."  There were nice men that she courted (dated); however, she could recognize the signs that she couldn't be with them.  Some of those red flags were:

1.  Attempts to tell her how to parent her children while barely getting to know her.

2.  Visiting only when convenient because an individual was married.

3.  Lying about one's true intentions such as saying he wanted friendship when he really wanted sex.

4.  Using threats and pressure to get her to commit.

5.  Buying her gifts and bringing money to secure a place in her life even when she was no longer romantically interested in her gentleman suitor.

April shares that when a man makes you feel like less than a woman such as often acting rudely, jealous, or bitter, stop dating him.  When you feel like you have to report your every move to him, don't.  If the older man doesn't appreciate what you are doing for him, stop giving him sex, visiting him, or whatever else you are doing.  April adds, "Don't be a fool!"

Nicholl McGuire is the author of the following books:

Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic https://www.createspace.com/3437273
When Mothers Cry https://www.createspace.com/3393499
Laboring to Love Myself https://www.createspace.com/3401526
Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate https://www.createspace.com/3332346
Floral Beauty on a Dead End Street http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/904839
Spiritual Poems By Nicholl http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/3113926

Unwanted Flirtation: What Would You Do?


Tuesday

How to Keep a Young Woman Interested in You and Not Your Flaws

When one is mature seeking a youthful lady, he has to know that in order to keep her interest, he must have some things about him that keep her coming back for more other than the typical large financial portfolio, sex, and impressive toys that other rich gentleman suitors have. A wise younger woman is going to look the other way after a few dates when she starts to see those flaws that tend to show up out of nowhere with some older men. For instance, he typically dyes his hair, but after a few dates he advertises his grays for the world to see. He might even trade a nice dress shirt for a boring, old tee-shirt.

What does the premature display of the real you say to this young woman who may still consider you a stranger? “He’s a great actor. I didn’t realize just how old he really is until he showed up with that 1970’s wardrobe with his white hair sprouting everywhere!” A young woman can have a short attention span especially for an older man who stands before her looking dull and tired. Face it, some men have to work harder than others to keep a woman happy.

1. Communicate your strengths.

You might not be active like most men, but you are smarter than many of them. Put your intelligence to work and help that young woman improve herself physically, mentally and spiritually when the opportune time comes. She just might say, “I was thinking, maybe you could help me with…” Jump at the opportunity by sharing what you know about her concerns and how might she be able to solve them.

2. Focus on your accomplishments and how they have helped others.

What is it about you that impresses most men and women that know you? You might be lacking in looks, but you might have a long list of awards for your generosity, gifts for helping others, business achievements, and more. Share what drives you to be the best you can be. She just might overlook those imperfections that others would run from.

3. Ask her about her goals, dreams and desires.

Young women like to talk about themselves, so encourage her to do so. This might make you stand out from those other guys because she you are sincerely interested in hearing what she has to say. Once again, look for opportunities to help her achieve her dreams.

4. Take care of yourself.

Men who do things to improve their appearances are a draw for many women. A man who doesn’t smoke, maintains his body weight, and smells good has a better chance at meeting and keeping a woman than a man who does the total opposite.

5. Point out obvious issues before she does, and mention what you are doing to try to fix them.

Women have flaws just like men, but when they are noticeable, many will explain the who, what, when, where, why, and how of them all. When men share their war stories, they just might get a sympathetic ear and someone who will get a little closer to them depending on the story. So if you know you can’t hide your issue like a large scar across your left cheek, talk about it, but don’t say so much that it makes her scared, worried, or concerned for her life.

6. Share a few past failures, but mention how you managed to move on with your life.

It is better that she hears about your past then from the neighborhood, so if you did some things that she just might find out about if she were to conduct a background check, let her know. However, include what you are doing differently now and how you resolved past issues.

7. Mention the people and things you do that keep you motivated.

Are there some people who could vouch for how good of a man you truly are? In time, you will want to use them to help your date reach a decision on whether you are good for her or not. Some single women might not be completely convinced about dating certain men due to one flaw or another, but then along comes the single man’s mom and sister bragging about their loved one and now a date, who was once in doubt, is ready to commit.

When a young woman notices your flaws, don’t hide, worry, or think the worse, just do your best to explain, but not so much that she desires to go elsewhere. Know what impresses your date and stick to those things that keep her interested in you and not your flaws.


Nicholl McGuire is the author of the following books:
Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic https://www.createspace.com/3437273
When Mothers Cry https://www.createspace.com/3393499
Laboring to Love Myself https://www.createspace.com/3401526
Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate https://www.createspace.com/3332346
Floral Beauty on a Dead End Street http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/904839
Spiritual Poems By Nicholl http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/3113926

Friday

Benefits of Dating Older Men


When All the Older Gentleman Wants is a Companion

With so many articles and videos talking about older men wanting nothing more than sex from young women, it can be a challenge to think any differently. But there are rich, as well as poor men, who aren’t interested in sex as much as they use to, simply put, they are all sexed out (at least temporarily that is). What might a young woman offer a gentleman besides sex?

Communication

A young woman and an older man who are on the go often, meeting people, volunteering, working, and just living a full life will have a bunch of stories to tell. They will enjoy long talks at places they like to frequent. They will share knowledge of some sites they might want to visit one day together. There is a lot to do and a woman who likes to communicate and travel is a great catch for an older man who still very much has a lot of life in him!

Friendship

When one has lived a life of strife, it is hard to come by good friends. Sometimes the only friend that one has is his or herself. Quality friendship is something that most people desire. No matter how many riches a man has, he will most likely want the company of a woman who can keep a secret, respect him, provide assistance in times of need, and hopefully love him for who he is and not just what he can give her. A young lady who truly knows what it means to be a good friend will be one of the lucky ones to land a nice, generous, older man one day!

Physical Touch without the Sex

Believe it or not, back when you were in high school, you didn’t have sex with everyone you met, you actually had friendships where the only thing you did was hold hands and hug. There are still many people in this world who love one another but have a lack of interest in sex due to a number of mental and body health issues. So hand-holding is good, a hug better, and a soft kiss is the best for some May-December relationships.

Consider looking beyond what many expect will occur between an older man and a younger woman dating; instead, find ways to build on the romance, appreciate one another, learn, and grow in this ever-changing world together!

Nicholl McGuire

Thursday

Dr. Steven Jepson discusses Andropause


Why Some Young Classy Women Won't Date Older Men Again

For some young women, they have already experienced dating older men and prefer not to do it again for a number of reasons.  Some of which are obvious and others not so much. 

An older man who is pushy about getting a young, classy woman to date him isn't always going to win in the end, if anything, he just might prove a negative viewpoint or two that a bitter young woman has about him.  So when an older man sees the writing on the wall, "She's not interested," keep it moving!

1.  She no longer finds dating older men interesting.

Maybe it was at one time fun for her, but as she grows older she realizes that dating a man simply for curiousity sake and what he can do for her is simply not right or good enough.  She desires more for herself.

2.  She is not attracted to the way men double, even triple her age, looks.

At one point, she could look past the gray hairs, age marks, and wrinkles, but now she prefers to look at someone with less flaws.

3.  She is doing quite well in life without an older man.

When she was struggling, she didn't mind having an older man or two around, but now that she is doing well, she is fine without them.

4.  She finally started listening to family and friends about not dating mature men.

Her loved ones told her that she shouldn't be dating older men and what if she wants a family one day.  They convinced her that she was "classy, better, smarter, more active than her old boyfriends, have years of growth and opportunity while they will settle down and one day die..."and whatever else they said to her to cause her to lose interest in older men.

5.  She has been burned far too many times to keep taking chances dating older men.

From young guys to old ones, she has just grown weary of drama and would prefer to stop dating awhile.  But when she returns to the scene, she rather take her chances with someone her own age with less issues.

6.  She feels like they want to dominate her--keep her in the house.

After having been watched and guarded like an animal, a young woman wants to be free of some older men's strict ways and control.  Despite not all mature men being this way, she doesn't want to risk her freedom being with the insecure, jealous type yet again.

7.  She finds most mature men boring, not on her level spiritually, physically and or mentally.

A man with a lot of unresolved issues will negatively impact a young woman who is positive and happy about life.  Some young women just lose interest in men (young or old) that retard their growth in becoming a strong, independent woman that they want to be.

Mature men, when you specifically know why a younger woman might not be interested in you any longer, you use what you know, and work hard to be more attractive to other young women who just might be willing to date you.  Don't pursue young women who have made it plain, "I don't like you."  Even if you are a success at winning her to you, it doesn't mean that she will remain with you for all the right reasons.  You just might be a temporary fix for her until someone better comes along. 

Step back from your conquests for a time and ask yourself the following:  Do you find that you are overbearing, suffocating, or seek to dominate young women?  What have they said about you in anger?  Have you taken care of your past business with other partners or are you still somehow connected to them?  Are you the type who likes to play mind games with young women rather than take them seriously?  Is there something about the way you look, talk, or dress that turns women off?

Until an older man can honestly look at his flaws, he will not find a young partner suitable for him that would be willing to stay in his life while being that sweetheart he so desires. 

Take care of your issues--whatever they might be before thinking about dating a classy young lady.

Nicholl McGuire

Wednesday

Lies of the Broke, Busted and Disgusted: The So-Called Rich Older Man

A gorgeous young woman and an older, (not-so attractive) possibly rich, man strike up a conversation. 

The young woman tosses back her hair and finds the older man funny, unique, she likes what she hears. As for the older man, he likes what he sees.  For weeks, the two exchange laughs and eventually numbers.  As their friendship grows, the older man shares details about his successes in life and future plans to relocate, buy a bigger house, and share his wealth with someone special.  Music to the potential sweetheart's ears whose eyes seek gold.  The gullible woman, who doesn't have much experience dating men young or old, believes almost everything the so-called well-to-do businessman says--that is until she notices the older man's present life isn't necessarily reflecting all the riches and glories he talks about.

The supposedly rich man's wallet is often empty.  His clothes a bit worn and his shoes don't shine.  He rarely goes anywhere, but home after work and even his work hours aren't always consistent.  Car trouble is frequent and sometimes the rich man's cell phone number is off, yet the young woman doesn't think too much about it.   She shakes off those little details, because "they don't mean anything, there are plenty of men that don't dress up and don't carry cash--no big deal," she convinces herself.  But stories aren't adding up and witnesses don't believe the hype, yet she continues to have faith in her rich, old friend.

This observant young woman's concerns begin to increase.  Puzzled by her braggart rich guy, the recent college graduate starts to question his lifestyle.  Feeling like he might lose his friendship with the nice young lady who is so very helpful to him, the old man has to embellish a few stories, so he starts talking about "When I get my money from an investment I made some years back, I will do for you...When I receive my settlement check from...I will help you....If everything goes well with this upcoming deal, I will share some money with you..."  So the starry-eyed young female perks up and waits and waits and waits for the manipulative older man to make good on his promises.  But nothing happens.

Some of you men and women reading this may have experienced something like the previous story or you heard about someone in a situation like this.  It is sad to say the least.  A lonely, desperate man who doesn't want a lovely lady to slip through his hands will say just about anything to keep her near.  Meanwhile, the vibrant young woman will put off the fact that she isn't the least bit attracted to the poor man posing as a rich man, but his promises of a financially secure future sound good to her ears.  When she begins to experience jilted feelings, especially after giving her sexy body to a man who should have never laid eyes on it, she starts looking visibly irritated with him whenever he comes around, and she just might argue with him about almost anything.  The frustration of "...not having," "...putting up with," and "What more can I take from this man?" types of emotions begin to drive the bitter woman crazy.  She yells out one day, "I thought you said you would help me with..."  The once charming man worried that he might have to defend himself from his girlfriend's flailing arms, yells back,  "I told you I would help you, now stop talking about it!  And besides you need to be patient, because I really don't have to give you anything!"  Uh oh, this old man better run for the door!  Weeks and weeks of hoping, wishing, and waiting on something based on promises from an older person, the young woman becomes increasingly disrespectful.  She begins to think, "How might I get rid of this nusiance that is doing nothing more than bringing me down?  I have a life to live!  I am still young, I don't need this old loser!" 

Unlike the young woman in that story, a discerning youthful woman won't fall for such traps set by sneaky, lustful, old, poor men.  Rather than entertain them, she tells herself, "They are too old for me.  I don't want anything to do with old men."  She most likely has been schooled by old players on the games that some of these foolish men play to get between her legs.  Side note:  If you are a father, are you teaching your daughter on the pros and cons of dating older men? 

Both rich and poor men lie.  But a poor man who plans to capitalize off a young woman who can barely keep a savings account is pathetic!  And a young woman who holds on to a broke, unattractive old man she could care less about in the hopes that he will bless her bank account is equally pathetic!  There is no love between these two no matter what they say and who knows them, both are using one another until one day one or both of them wake up to the truth.

"So you were never getting any money, were you, old man?"
"No, I'm sorry."
"I knew you were lying to me!  Why do I always fall for your type?"
"Oh, stop it!  You never loved me anyway, little girl."

Nope, she never did.  Rather, she was in love with his promise and he was in lust with her beauty.

Nicholl McGuire

Tuesday

Humor: How To Land An Older Man



A funny video that for some women and men is all too true!  Save the act young ladies and just be yourself!

The Older He Gets, The More He Forgets! The 60+ Mature Man

From observing the older men in my life, I noticed that many of them 60+ start to forget things.  Wives and girlfriends have to scurry around their homes, check the car, and look here and there for missing things.  Sometimes there is much tension in the air, because it has been the third time this week that one's beau has misplaced car keys, wallet and cell phone.  "Now where did I put my things?"  the 60+ male says with frustration in his voice.

Let's face it, the aging process is inevitable whether one likes it or not!  Sometimes it comes slowly for some middle-aged men and women and quickly for others based on one's stress levels and overall health.  There are rich, older men who attempt to spend the most money on the best items for hair, skin, nails, body, and more, because the thought of their bodies breaking down one day scares them.  Then there are some mature men who simply don't care what happens, they personally believe, like fine wine, they get better with age.  Whatever one's perspective on getting older, there will be those days that one will be looking and acting his age like the forgetful guy who misplaces his valuables.  Unfortunately, some younger women suddenly realize (after much love, affection, and money has been invested into them) that observing their mates getting older isn't something that they can handle and so off they go.

Do you know if you, being a younger woman or older man, have the patience to endure an active youth or an aging adult?  Can the younger woman sit back and observe her older man go through his middle years without running for the door every time he reaches a new milestone in his life and vice versa?  Maybe the older man, back when he was in his 40s, was fun to be around, but then when 50+ came along someone else showed up, what is she going to do now?  Dating someone older isn't for everyone and if some things are just too much, too soon, then slow down and think about what your future with your younger or older partner might look like. 

Some older women can attest to dating men their own age and becoming easily irritated with them, because some of their behaviors remind them that they too are aging.  They will admit that it isn't always easy dealing with a man who isn't happy or comfortable with getting older.

The younger woman must recognize that when her mature man forgets what she has told him, where he placed something, or how to get from Point A to Point B, that his issue of forgetfulness might be simple or complex depending on one's family history, health condition, and other factors, but don't take it personal!  Encourage your boyfriend/husband to get a check up.  Notice what he is eating and not eating and whether or not he is staying fit--a downward decline of one's health will affect the mind in the long term.  Think of how some people in your own family let themselves go over the years. 

Despite yet another challenge in this May-December relationship, for the ladies, try to be sweet to him and remind your fellow old soul that you love, admire and appreciate him.  And for the mature men, be real with yourself, you are getting older and with aging comes change, no sense in fighting about it, so you forgot where you took off your underwear for the umpteenth time, it doesn't mean you have Alzheimer's or does it?  Stay up on your health!

Nicholl McGuire

Monday

When the Only Thing a Sugar Daddy Has Going for Him Is He's Rich

Let's face it, some sugar daddies just aren't easy on the eyes and don't necessarily have a gift for entertaining a pretty young woman, you might be one of them.  So with that, there are some things that you will need to do to boost your strengths and downplay your weaknesses.

1.  Take care of yourself.

Far too many older men let themselves go.  The young woman looks at that nice photograph from yesteryear and dreams of having met you in your youth.  Before you go showing off those past photos, in an attempt to win her over with your past beauty, try keeping her interested in the modern day you.  Watch eating things that help pack on pounds around your mid-section.  Don't ignore health issues.  For instance, visit your doctor and dentist and share your concerns with them.  Trim your hair (dye it or upgrade it), cut your toe nails, and get unsightly things removed or changed where applicable.  Why permit yourself to go downhill just because you have reached a certain age?

2.  Be polite and considerate.

Sweet, inspirational, and loving responses and phrases used to keep a young woman interested in you go a long way--this is what puts the "Sugar" in Daddy!  Before long, she is forgetting about you being short, overweight, gray, and wrinkled.  Write your thoughts, speak your feelings, or buy a book, artwork, keepsake, or card that comes from the heart. 

3.  Look for opportunities to do kind deeds.

There are selfish, miserable rich older and younger men who simply don't have the time, patience, or know-how when it comes to having a quality relationship with women.  There are so many ways to show your appreciation and admiration of your younger partner.  Think of things she likes, needs, and hopes for and try to help her in whatever way you can.  From small tokens that make her life easier to help with paying bills, the fact still remains that some older, unattractive men get all the nice-looking ladies because they are good listeners and generous.

4.  Explain noticeable flaws.

Some flaws simply can't be hidden; therefore when she questions, "What is that?  How did that happen?  Why do you act that way?"  Be prepared to speak truth, but don't share so much information that she becomes fearful, worried, or start to wonder if she can catch what you got.  For example, if you really like your date and desire to be with her exclusively, be open to talking about things like an incurable sexually transmitted disease--don't fail to mention it, and always remember to protect yourself and your partner.

5.  Show much interest in your young partner's world.

Competition is fierce when it comes to dating a very attractive woman, so an unattractive man must stand out from the crowd by paying his young partner more attention than most men.  He has to genuinely care about her and be willing to offer her the kind of love and appreciation that touches her soul.

Keep in mind there are young women who will look pass your flaws when they can see your inner strengths manifest externally.  Do what you can to improve your self physically, mentally and spiritually.
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