OMG! He Acts Just Like My Dad!

Maybe that day has never came for you.  Maybe you only heard about it, you know, the young woman who comes to the revelation that her older date reminds her so much of none other than her father--oh no!

The mature man is not going to receive this eye-opening experience from the young lady, especially if he considers himself rather young in spirit, he is going to avoid the "You act like and kind of look like my dad" conversation like a plague.  What the heck, this older man probably feared his younger partner would one day arrive to this sudden epiphany! 

When the older man was listening to that young woman's stories about her father early on in the dating relationship, he was thinking about himself.  He was comparing, contrasting, and contemplating, "What if this is all some sort of daddy issue romance playing itself out?  What do I do?" he thought.  Well, you do what any respectable man does, you acknowledge her feelings and you remind her, "But I am not your dad. I repeat I am not your dad."  Then you work real hard not to do anything that appears daddy like such as: parent her, "You are to give me a time when you intend to be back, young lady!" or tell her when she is hurt, "It's okay boo-boo daddy loves you."

Now the young woman is going to reach the point of no return at some point in your dating relationship, where she is not going to go back to that daddy revelation for it is quite disturbing and you will know when she continues on in the relationship as if nothing has ever been revealed.  She says things like, "I truly only want to be with you.  I really would like for us to get married... and what do you think of children?"  She sees you as a lover, friend, and husband but not as a  father, good for you!  

Once you can detect that you, if you are the younger woman, or you, if you are the mature man, realizes that nothing can separate you, not even memories of dad, go ahead, take the next step.  But if every time you two have a moment to converse and she starts talking about "my dad this and my dad that and you act this way and that way just like my dad with a glint of anger in her eyes," jump ship--she has some serious issues that if you don't have the time, money and patience, don't bother trying to direct her to some help while you are still having sex with her.  Better off just being friends.  And for the younger woman, you will need to spend some time alone if you are having a hard time removing the images of your dad and childhood issues concerning him.  You see, no one wants to be reminded that they look, act, smell, dress, or are like someone else--no one!  We are uniquely designed, all of us.  Sure, I might remind you of someone and you might remind me of someone, but we both have many different facets to who we are if only we would all just take the time to discover them in our relationships rather than compare them to the past.

So don't run away mature man if the young woman suddenly realizes that she has been attracted to you, because you remind her of the first man in her life, it just might be a passing phase.  However, younger woman, if it really does bother you that the gentleman you like/love is very much like your dad, don't take the relationship any further.  We wouldn't want you to feel like you are sleeping with your dad--now that's just nasty and besides if you have a faith, you might want to pray about your issues.

Nicholl McGuire