Friday

Barely Legal - Older Guys Dating Teenagers?

Are you an NBA fan? If you watched the playoffs, then no doubt you saw the T-Mobile commercial where Charles Barkley is constantly calling D-Wade. Hilarious stuff, particularly when Chuck inanely spouts, "That's why I don'teat shrimp."

Well, despite all the marketing hype in the Seduction Community about pulling the youngest hotties possible (especially if you're an older guy), that's pretty much how I feel about dating eighteen or nineteen year old girls, even if they are "legal".

And for those of you who might be assuming that this is all a function of my current age, I've pretty much viewed the universe this way since I was 21, with a few scattered exceptions

Not coincidentally, you see, at 21 years of age is when a guy in the United States (like me) can finally order a beer.

It's not that the younger girls aren't often really, really hot...you and I both know they are.

The deal is that they're unnecessary.

As I see it, I can find a woman who is at least 21 who looks every bit as intriguing as any 18 or 19 year old. And then, I can take her A-N-Y-W-H-E-R-E I want.

Otherwise, her restrictions become my restrictions. And I've been through with being relegated to "Teen Night" at the local club for over twenty years now.

Think of it...they are teenagers, after all.

They are barely through high school, let alone college. This means that there has not yet been any chance to cultivate the necessary level of independence and maturity that most older guys invariably demand.

Now if you're 30 and still living in your Mommy's basements, all bets are off. Disregard the previous statement.

But otherwise, my educated guess is that most guys of any advanced age beyond 21 probably only THINK they want "barely legal" girls in their rotation.

By using the word "rotation" above, I'm telegraphing the raw fact that I'm too squeamish to think that any older guy out there is seriously talking about making a teenager his steady girlfriend.

In fact, here it is: I really think that the vast majority of guys who think they want to date teenage girls are in that frame because they can't get them.

Simply put, the fantasy is clearly better than the reality.

Beyond the matter of social restrictions and maturity level, there are yet two other factors that are arguably even more significant.

First, if you are at all interested in any kind of long-term relationship with a woman, dealing with a teenager is the proverbial "box of chocolates".

How many teenage couples do you know who have broken up by age...oh...21, because the "grew apart". With real-life experience comes real change in priorities and even personality itself.

Further, how do you know your 19-year-old girlfriend is going to look great at 30?

You don't.

Recently I was interviewed for an upcoming product for older guys on how to date younger women. The guys producing it are well-known, but I hadn't yet had the chance to meet them when they approached me.

Suffice it to say they got a unique perspective.

Ultimately, I'd much rather find a woman closer to my own age who still gets carded. That way, you get the hot, sexy little vixen of your dreams...all with the added benefits of social commonality, emotional maturity (we hope) and the blessed assurance that this woman will most likely continue to age well.

Apart from online dating, where everyone's stats are pinned to their respective profiles, the main challenge to me always boiled down to actually identifying the kind of women I'm talking about.

After all, we don't walk around with a cartoon bubble full of stats over our heads in real life.

But my very real, "field-tested" premise is that there are women around us wherever we go that look and seem far, far younger than their age.

Humorously, most such women I've met report that they get hit on mostly by guys many years their junior, who are shocked to find out their real age. Meanwhile, these same women are flat-out craving to be approached by guys their own age, who are largely assuming they are "too young".

The ironies abound, don't they?

So what of this?

You've just got to have the guts to meet them and find out, that's what. The problem is that "approaching" equals "pickup" to virtually every guy out there.

Meanwhile, if I'm friendly and start an unloaded conversation with even the fresh-faced girl behind the check out counter at the grocery store, I may find out she's actually 28. But this will only happen if I can get outside my own head, drop the "agendas" and stop seeing every single interaction with any woman as "pickup".

Oh yeah, I mentioned there were two other important factors, didn't I?

How's this...how do you really know your "18 year old" is 18? If it takes the potential of handcuffs and iron bars to make the point, so be it. You don't want to be the guy who finds out his new girlfriend is only 16 or 17 after the law says it's too late.

By the way, don't count on meeting her parents as proof of age. A shocking number of them are more than happy to help her "protect" you from the truth.

Scot McKay's character-based dating and seduction strategies for men are found at: http://www.thechickwhisperer.com

Stop by right now and Scot will personally send you a FREE 8-part mini-course ($47 value) when you sign up for the X & Y Communications Newsletter.

Also be sure to check out The Chick Whisperer podcast on iTunes.

Wednesday

Traits Of A Good Man-what Every Woman Must Know

Whenever you meet someone you like, you should see the traits of a good man, so that you can rapidly identify them, and not squander time on the incorrect person.

The first thing that you ought to search for is integrity and character. These are qualities that are necessary in a lifelong partner.

Traits of a good man will let you know what he stands for, the morals he lives by, plus the morals that form his actions. This determines how he treats you and the way he treats himself. His personality is vital, yet don't confuse his personality with his character. His personality is the way he presents himself to the world, the way in which he expresses himself on the outer surface. His character is what he is on the inside, his substance.

In order to understand how to recognize traits of a good man, you must get to know him and had honest conversations with him, and this is included with time.

If you find a person who is fully commited to growing in addition to improving himself as an individual, and that wants to discover everything he can concerning being a greater individual, rest assured that this is a decent man.

If he's approachable emotionally and honest with his feelings and he expresses those emotions to you, you are likely to think that the door to his heart is open.

Is he mature and responsible? This means that he has grown up and doesn't act similar to a child, and he does not require you to look after him. Being trustworthy means he does what he says he will do. He keeps his promises and shows up on time.

Does he possess a confident approach toward life? Does he notice good on the earth, in you, plus himself? He ought to make you feel good when you're with him. Keep away from the man who's a unenthusiastic person that is always cranky. Such a human being will drain all your power and bring you down.

Does he have a superior self-esteem? Does he feel good about who he is and how he lives his life, and does he take care of himself? A person can only be in love with you if he loves himself. He also does not permit others to mistreat him or you.

Does he have integrity? Is it possible to count on him to be straight with you at all times? Is he honest with himself and you? Honesty and integrity are crucial for a long term relationship to survive. You want to admire the way he treats other people.

In order for you to acknowledge the traits of a good man, you need to have these similar qualities. One must always care for a man not just for external appearance but for who he is on the inside as well.

By: Jos Mahan

Find out how you can avoid wasting precious years of your life with the wrong man by visiting Traits Of A Good Man now. Make sure and pick up your free gift while you are there.

Tuesday

The Significant Age Difference: An Issue with Family

Although it may not be a problem for you and your mature partner, the age difference, it is an issue for some of those who are on the outside looking in at your relationship. They may not take you or he seriously just because you are younger than he is. If he has a past pattern of dating women close to his age, then his siblings will have found more in common with that person than with you.

It can be troubling knowing his family have had a better relationship with his past girlfriends than you; however, don't let that disturb your inner peace with who you are -- if age is indeed nothing but a number then by all means keep it that way!

Jealousy, lies, confusion, bitterness, and more are in every family and his is no exception. Since you have come into his life, there may have been some hidden family issues that have now surfaced. He may have seen a different side to his once kind mother, his wonderful sister, and his easy-going brother. They may have criticized his choice in a woman either to his face or behind his back, "Why did you pick someone so young? What's going on with him, did he catch a bad case of midlife?" Whatever the comments he has had to endure since dating you, he will have to be the one to either stand with you or cave into the pressure and end the relationship -- its all up to him.

What you can do is stay true to who you are and your beliefs. If you and he believe in the relationship, then it will last, but if only one or neither of you don't, it won't.

Keep in mind that at first everyone who says, "I don't have a problem with..." In time the truth comes out and they really do have a problem. Their issue, not yours!

Enjoy your relationship while it last! Ask questions to find out the truth about his feelings before you commit. Finally, know that everyone will not like you and there is nothing in the rule book that requires you to make friends and influence people who don't like you!

Nicholl McGuire
http://www.twitter.com/helpforpeople

Friday

How to Go About Dating Older Men

Are you an older man? If yes, you might think that it is too late to find love in your life. However, nothing can be further from the truth. Older men are recapturing love in a dramatic way and going forward with their lives with joy and happiness. Love is sometimes classified as a thing for only those who are young. But the beauty of love is that, it does not discriminate and it does not matter who you are; it can come to you. Dating for older men is something that is on the rise and this is mainly attributed to the many options of dating that have come up. Today, it is much easier to meet new people making dating for older men even more popular. Perhaps you are sitting there and wondering how old an older man is. Well, age is in the mind and you are the only one who can limit yourself. People who are over the age of 55 are considered to be older men. When there are men of this age who are single, they might have gone through divorce or their partners have departed. They could also be separated.

This is to say that dating for older men happens because circumstances or situations have left them without love. In society dating for older men should be encouraged. This is because there are men who are potential lovers who find themselves lonely and many times bogged down by depression. The older man in society needs to know and feel like he is part of society and that he has a lot to offer. After you have thought about returning to the love chase as an older man, it is time to put your best foot forward and go for it. First, you need to work on the issues that you might have. Common issues that men your age deal with is looking down on themselves and feeling like you are not attractive enough. There are practical things that you can do to make sure that you are on the top of your game. Look for good ways to get in shape. You can walk or run and see how you will gain the confidence you might have lost. Look for more modern styles in clothes and see the difference.
 
Dating for older men is never perfect. You cannot be perfect and therefore, you do not have to wait until you develop a six pack to get out there. Remember, women are attracted to a man who can really reflect beauty and charm from the inside. It is time to hit social places. Chat up ladies who you are attracted to. If you find it hard to meet people, you can go through matchmakers. Online dating will give you a perfect shot to find a lady with the specifications you are looking for. When you get dating again, keep your mind open. You will be surprised at how both young and old women show interest in you. Remember, romance keeps the world moving and it is a fine way of adding yourself some years on this earth. Make sure you have fun all the way until you find someone special.
 
Francis K. Githinji is an online dating expert. His latest project Free Online Dating Service shows how the power of online dating can be harnessed internationally and with great success, or you could post your valued comments on his blog at Dating And Relationships Magazine.

Thursday

Lies Young Women Believe from Older Men

I was shocked when I saw this phrase come up in the search engines while I was looking for something else, "lies young women believe." Now why would anyone be looking this up unless of course they planned on telling a few lies to get in a few young girls pants, hmm?! Dirty old men!

So what do you have to do young ladies? Be one step ahead of the game. I know that men stand back and watch and learn about us so that they know how to play the game, but the key is to present everything out on the table and that eliminates the need to play games.

Do you want an older man for just sex? Yes or no. If you answered yes, then tell him that. If your answer is no, then he needs to know that especially if you have other reasons for befriending him. Maybe you are a young woman trying to escape your strict parents, if so, not a good idea to run into the arms of an older man, even though he would be more than glad to accommodate you, but you want to be more than a man's sex toy now don't you?

Naive women believe all sorts of lies! They believe a man when he says, "I love you" especially after a good sexual release. They believe him when he says, "You are the only one for me" even though another woman's voice was heard via the cell phone saying, "See you later, Sexy!" They believe a man if he says, "I was working late, honestly" but every time you try to reach him hours after the workday is over you can't get him!

As much as you want to believe that man you find yourself falling in love, please do fact check ladies! That's right, make his so-called smart self THINK you believe him. There is nothing wrong with double-checking what anyone says. Chances are after you are finished reading this, you will double-check with someone to see if what I have told you is good information or not, so do the same with that man who promises you everything!

Mature men have been walking this planet for a long while and some of these young women, who think they know-it-all and no one can tell them anything, believe they can walk circles around them. Don't be so sure! You just might be the one being left broken-hearted with egg on your face!

At least in the beginning of your romance, have fun and enjoy what he has to offer, but when things like, "Let's move in together. Let's get married. Let's have a baby. Let me meet your parents..." come up, you better be fact-finding what is on this man's mind including performing a background check on his "too good to be true" butt!

Your older man may be having some things on his mind that he isn't letting you in on at least not yet. He may feel pressured to get married and have children, because all his buddies have all done it, his mother is a Christian, his dad wants grand-kids, or his emotions are temporarily going haywire!

Know what you are getting yourself into before you stop taking birth control, packing your bags to move in with him and more. Have a deep conversation with yourself and learn how to strategically play the game of life, like chess, anticipate your opponent's every move. Trust me, he is doing it with you!

Nicholl McGuire
http://www.twitter.com/nichollmcguire

Tuesday

The Unpredictable Middle-Aged Man

His wife of 14 years never seen it coming. His co-workers were surprised when they heard about it. The sales clerk at his local neighborhood store would have never thought he was the type. They described him as "irresponsible, a jerk, strange..." Even worse, "crazy!" They described him as everything but "A middle-aged man having a crisis."

The once well-liked and respected man in crisis had given his job a two weeks notice, moved out the family home located in a well-kept rural neighborhood in his sports car, and said, "Goodbye" to long time friends all within a week!

The tall, still very handsome man in his forties, had found a bachelor pad in the city and a state-of-the-art gym as well. Within months he found something else too! A beautiful young woman in her twenties. The two were like teenagers kissing and holding hands often. He was so immersed with this woman that he barely noticed the divorce papers that showed up in the mail from his ex. He was in love under new management and he didn't care about the past he left behind at least for a time.

His children, a teen boy and girl, didn't know what to think of him, they asked mom about dad but continued through school participating in activities and performing above average in their studies. Sometimes a negative report from a teacher would follow them home for disrupting the class but that was about it -- the children were just taking one day at a time.

One day the former all-star college athlete was in deep thought reflecting on his life. He had felt guilty at times about what he had done. He had asked God for a since of direction, because he felt that he was a little out of control after coming home drunk with his young girlfriend four weekends straight. He remembered this life back in his twenties and he didn't like it much back then and he wasn't liking it much now. The partying and drinking had to stop!

Meanwhile his youthful mate wasn't ready to settle down like stay at home and watch TV every weekend, but she was willing to quit drinking and maybe cut down on her club activities. He discussed some of his thoughts with her, the ones he felt she could handle, but of course not all of them because he didn't completely trust a mate who was almost 20 years his junior with his emotions.

As the young woman learned more about this man, who she had yet to see as an "older man," she realized he wasn't necessarily a trustworthy character these days. "I mean he left his wife of 14 years for God sake!" She told herself, "What if he leaves me!?" So she told herself she had better do something and fast. One day she asked if they could talk in her most grown-up expression, you see she didn't have experience in these sorts of matters. "I just want to say I think we have a great relationship, but you know the other day when you were talking about moving in together, well I don't think that would be a good idea." He wondered why and she made up some excuse about how she didn't want to "cramp his style." She too, didn't think he could handle some of her thoughts either, since he was older and may have forgotten about the things that young people considered important like friends, travel, relocation, entertainment, etc. She wasn't looking for a father figure who would police her lifestyle, she was looking for a friend with benefits including emotional security.

She wanted to know he wouldn't just up and leave her like he did his former wife and children and so far he hadn't convinced her of that especially since he was dyeing his hair almost every two weeks, looking for yet another sports car, and complaining alot about his new job that paid him considerably less than the last one but he liked it because "it was fun!" To the smart young woman, he had signs of a ticking time bomb ready to explode again.

In time the two went their separate ways after their first child was born. That's right in between all the kissing and hugging the young woman was unwed and pregnant with her older man's baby. He promised to take care of her and briefly they did live together, but she had been a fool so she thought. She had quit her job to take care of the baby and so when they broke up she had nothing. One of his unpredictable mood swings sent her packing after an intense argument one day over all things, baby diapers! He had grew weary of buying them and felt she should leave the diaper on the baby longer. She didn't want to do it because of the terrible rash their son got once before. He complained about not having enough money for retirement. She complained about him not sharing money to care for his new family. Meanwhile, the old family was calling him every week, not for small talk, but money as well.

The unpredictable middle-aged man had made a mess of things due to those unresolved hidden emotions and desires buried deep within. He had watched far too many television shows that glorified his youth. He had listened to way too many of his old high school songs. He had immersed his walls with an overwhelming amount of photographs of the "has-been." It was time for a doctor's visit, a church visit, and a place of solitude to pen a plan that would suffice for the remaining part of his life if he so dared.

Nicholl McGuire, wrote this fictional story to help all parties understand the significant impact a male in mid-life can play on everyone he knows both good and bad.
Follow Nicholl on Twitter @nichollmcguire
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