Thursday

Sexual Harassment - Men Who are Hell-Bent on Not Changing Their Ways

They are out there, men who will say whatever they want to any woman they choose.  It doesn't matter that sexual harassment claims are taking our media by storm, the old way of thinking is etched in some of these older men's minds.  Like children, some still believe pretty women are seen not heard.  The men born prior to the seventies are still among us and still sharing antiquated beliefs with open-minded children and grandchildren. 

Haughty men still insist on saying sexually inappropriate things to women, talking about sexual conquests to the same sex and others, sharing and/or giving sexually explicit material to female workers, clients, and even strangers.  They laugh off what they do and follow it up with statements like, "Well you know how we are, boys will be boys.  Can't you take a joke, why so serious?  I can't help myself, but you are gorgeous.  You are so fine, I couldn't help but touch that behind!  Look at all the women who like me, I am irresistible, I will make you love me!"  Some women will nervously chuckle until convicting thoughts and negative feelings take hold of them afterward, "What just happened?" some of these women think.  "I can't believe he said that...did that.  That's not right."

Whether a woman realizes in that moment or years later that being harassed is unacceptable, the point is, it happened.  Something occurred that just wasn't right.  A powerful man or a not-so-powerful one crossed the line.  It didn't matter that she was single, married, young or old, he had no business forcing his sexual desire/thoughts/deeds.  Would sexually inappropriate behavior be okay with him toward his daughter or granddaughter by other lust-filled men?  Would he be okay with his wife being disrespected by other men with the promise of fame, fortune and power to follow?  Most caring men would say, "No way, I would beat that man's a$$!  No one disrespects my mother, sister, daughter...no one!"  So why would they think it is okay to do it to another man's kin without consequence?  People talk about religious groups forcing their views down people's throats, well what about men and women without any moral compass forcing their ill-intentions and other things down people's throats?

I must admit I am happy but also sad at the same time about what is happening in the media.  Happy because the exposure empowers women and changes the mindset of many men who thought daddy and grandaddy's disrespect of women was acceptable.  But sad, because this does impact the way a number of men and women's relationships and friendships with one another--some for good and others for evil--it all depends upon the accuser.

Now when you look at the long list of men in the spotlight for hurting women, you can't help but see how some victims also took advantage of the benefits they received from them as well.  I guess they looked at it as getting their due payment from the pain, shame, and suffering they endured.  Do we ignore the voices of those who agreed to perform some tricks for some treats?  Were those women really harrassed or are they looking for a second or even third payout by riding on the #MeToo campaign? 

Whether victim or not, the point is men are going to have to re-evaluate their thinking concerning women and teach sons and grandsons too!  As much as lovely ladies are quite attractive to view and can be quite kind to you, doesn't mean that it gives any man or woman a license to act disrespectfully toward them.  Keep your sexual thoughts and material to yourself.  Resist the temptation to want to kiss, hold, squeeze, rape, or stare.  Most women simply will not respond in a positive way to a forceful, desperate, lonely or even crazy sort of man hell-bent on getting something for nothing or something for something.

The men, who refuse to change their view of women, and continue to act inappropriate, will sooner or later have their day in court, day in the street, or worse six feet deep.  You don't have to be a Hollywood big shot to be on a scorned woman's hit list.  She will most likely have the support and protection from the men who love and appreciate her and may God help you if she does.  In order to be a target, all you have to be is an arrogant fool with unaddressed sex issues and childhood woes who believes himself to be right even when he is wrong.  The long list of names in the media continues to grow and so too are the life lessons.  Going forward conduct yourself like gentlemen.

 Nicholl McGuire

Monday

Charm Then Grow Cold - When They Love and Leave Them

The smitten older man does what he can to draw the young lady into his arms and then when things get a bit stale, holidays show up, or requests are made to spend more time together, he grows cold toward his partner.  The young woman thinks the older man is something special until relationship challenges show up.  These people who fall out of love (lust) quickly, charm and then grow distant are difficult to be in relationships with--they will not remain committed for long.  The holidays can motivate some couples to behave this way especially if they have a long history of breaking hearts or being heartbroken.

What is it about those who love others then leave them?  Do they really want committed relationships?  Sometimes they do, but they don't want to take a look at their personal pain, heal from it, and move on to a quality relationship.  For some, they are simply too tired, lazy, self-absorbed, or emotionally wounded to bother.  They don't examine the influences around them growing up, they don't address the trauma they have gone through, and they often believe themselves to be right even when they are wrong in the way that they treat people.

Anyone who insists on reaching out to Mr. or Ms. Charmer while ignoring the truth about who they really are (liar, evil, selfish, abusive, etc.) is headed toward a long, drawn-out path of heartbreak, make up to break up games, and mind-boggling behaviors that make one go mad.  Being in a relationship with the charmer isn't like the movies, where the guy or gal finally realizes how much he or she loves and then fights to get his or her partner back.  Instead, the future is comprised of long disputes and much pain, because the wounded one never wanted to get to the root cause of why he or she loves and then leaves them.  In time, they cheat and cheat some more on the gullible.

Like bored people get weary of old phones, manipulators get weary of old relationships.  They don't see the value of sticking it out with one person for as long as they live.  If you are not living your life in such a way that keeps someone interested, they will eventually stray especially if he or she is younger.  Young people have a lot they look forward to doing in the future and an uninteresting older person can and will be a burden sooner or later particularly if he or she is way past child-bearing years.

Charming anyone regardless of age is great if you can keep up the act.  However, as we know, who once charmed, we can't keep people interested forever.  You know when a relationship is headed south when the following is occurring:

1)  You are frequently bored in the relationship.
2)  You receive nothing mentally or physically from a partner.
3)  He or she doesn't bother to share anything of interest including future plans.
4)  Where he or she once included you in on event planning, there is no more of that and he or she may not even bother to call you about doing anything together.
5)  You feel like you are cramping his or her space whenever you are around him or her.
6) The charmer no longer makes time for you.  The excuse is always, "I'm busy...I don't have time.  Could you do that without me?"
7)  Refuses to deal with issues that are negatively impacting the relationship.

Nicholl McGuire

Friday

Watch Your Friends Around Your Young Partner



Sometimes men and women find the fruit that is already taken ripe for the picking.  Watch lustful family members and friends around your partner especially this holiday season.

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